Southside Swingers in Tennessee

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Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - perhaps TEQUILAROSE was confused by my statement, I stated that alot of people have fetish's but I do not know alot of white couples that are interested in black men, not every woman like a cock over 8" either, there are some but we have not met very many and it seems to be a very select group and type of swinger. I am not speaking for all swingers, I am stating what I have seen in the past and my experience in what others have told me about why they do not prefer single men. I can tell you that "I" have had many men tell me that they have a wife or live in gf and that she is "not into it". In reality its safer for a man that is afraid of losing what he has to cheat on his partner in a swinger enviroment because the chances of it coming back to expose him is much less likely, no connections, no ties, no one knows someone that knows the other person, its very safe. Alot of single men have also told me that they feel that they are bringing excitement to a couples relationship that the husband can no longer provide or that the wife is simply bored with her husband and wants another. These misconceptions are what gives single men a bad name. Guys, seriously, as a woman I can tell you just because you get me excited in bed does not mean im falling for you or I just cant wait until I have you again, it does not mean that I do not get excited with my husband and it does not mean I will be with you when he is not there. I am not a booty call, I am not here to give you a safe ticket to adultry, I am a swinger, I believe in the value of a close friendship with others that you can be completely open, some of the best friendships I have ever had were with swingers that wanted FRIENDSHIP and showed RESPECT. In my humble opinion that is my and only MY definition of a swinger. This statement is not meant to represent any other swingers aside from myself so please do not imply that my statements are a canvas for the lifestyle, there was a question, this is my answer and opinion.

That little nudge many of us need - - We think honesty is the best way to be. If she found out about the meeting without her knowledge, your tryst into the lifestyle may be over. Plus, she might feel the pressure to play at some point anyway. Also, she will always wonder if the next meeting is arranged without her knowledge. Evildoers is correct in meeting with zero chance of playtime. Take their advice. She will feel more relaxed and could enjoy herself with the pressure off. We will take it a step further: Step 1: Set up a date with ZERO playtime opportunity and let the other couple know that. Do something fun (a hike, Topgolf, etc) and get to know them. At the conclusion of the date, let them know that if they do not receive a message from YOU within 24 hours, you don't feel you are a match. Step 2: If you send a message to meet again, let them know your intent and your boundaries. For example, (kissing ok), (fondling ok), (bi kissing ok), (same room, separate room, either room ok), (nudity ok or not). But, speak honestly with each other about this. It's not nice to lead people on after you have committed. At the conclusion of the date, let them know that if they do not receive a message from YOU within 24 hours, you are not ready to go further. Step 3: If you send a message to meet again, let them know what is acceptable. For example (full swap or soft swap), (same room, separate rooms or either ok), (kissing or no kissing), (bi play) etc. Again, you will have to be honest with yourselves if you can do this. By a third date, the other couple has invested a lot of time in you. So, be nice and don't lead them on. Enjoy the playtime. Save enough time for the afterglow sex with them relaxing, chatting, and laughing. By this point, you may have found a couple that you can see multiple times. Doing vanilla activities with them might be a bonus. They may even introduce you to their lifestyle friends too. The other option is attending a house party where play is not expected. You will be able to speak to several couple and perhaps, use the process above. Or you can play that night. When we entered the lifestyle, we never had that couple who could mentor us. After we considered ourselves as no longer newbies, we became the newbie "whisperers" to offer what we never had. However, we've gotten away from newbies since our circle is with experienced swingers now. But with covid, we would date newbies again.

Favorite bars in utah - - Are any of these places frequented by swingers more than others?

Polyamorous Couple - Seeking girlfriend for husband - I (Mr. DandDMontreal) have not had any luck finding other poly people on this site as it's predominantly frequented by swingers (great for when we want to swing!). I have had a tiny bit of luck on OKCupid and I have found a lot of poly people on fetlife.com but online dating is generally terrible for poly men. I have had pretty good luck with attending poly events like poly cocktails and the most luck just generally being open about my poly in everyday life (not an option for everyone). Checkout https://utahpoly.org/ for details on poly events.

Advice anyone? - Questions - male half here maybe i can put this in a nut shell, if your at a meet and greet, just party with these people just as if you were partying with a vinilla couple, your there with no expectations, your not hitting on anyone just enjoying that you are out with fun people, you never know they might just invite you to continue the party after the meet and greet, and if they don't, oh well. go to the next one, it will happen, just don't go with expectations, just because we swing, or like single males, that is going to happen, we have many single male freinds that we have not played with, but we are all aware that we are swingers, its just about going and having a good time.

Letting them down softly???? - Give us advice? - No matter how "easy" you try to make it, some people, unfortunately, will never LET you make it easy. Let's face it, rejection sucks and some people just don't take it well...if at all! We've tried every imaginable way to let people down easy and trust me, there is no magic bullet that works for everyone. If there was we totally would have patented it, made a fortune selling "Swinging For Dummies" books and would be living on a tropical island surrounded only by hot sexy swingers that we find spectacularly attractive. [em]Emo_84[/em]

When does interest become pushy??? - - I've been thinking of this topic a lot since it first came out. I appreciate all of the comments made. EVILDOERS said, "Confidence is sexy", and I agree. I see a coupe of things here worthy of comment. First, in this game, women are totally in control. Sex is probably the strongest power position they have. All men want it, women control it. When they say no, or not interested, it's the end of the line for a man. HOW they say it is different. And how a man receives the rejection is different. Anybody who knows me social or professionally would never characterize me as shy. I'm outspoken and engaged most of the time. Because I've been rejected less than politely for advances in the swingers scene before, and after a lot of retrospection didn't deserve the rudeness of the rebukes, I'm a little more reserved, maybe even gun shy. The fact is, in this lifestyle, no matter how good you are, sooner or later you're going to get rejected. The person doing the rejecting may have had a bad day and be less than polite, but it also could be that you're not handling rejection well. Recently at a meet and greet I made an advance that seemed more than just welcomed, almost asked for, but was politely refused. I misread the signals, obviously. That happens to all of us at some time or another. The lady was polite in her refusal, and I think that's the key. I think at some time or another we all will give signals that welcome an advance, but do so in error. When an advance comes that we don't want we can reject it, but doing so politely is key. It's simple common courtesy. If the person making the advance persist, then something stronger may be necessary. Again, common courtesy would be to desist when told to do so. It's all about treating people with respect. We're in this lifestyle to be sexually connected with others. Advances are generally, but not always, welcome and expected. We need to be polite and respectful in both our advances and rejections, whichever side we're on. Mr. Sexperimentors

swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - LOL virgin cpl....what's wrong? you have a guilty concience about something? I don't recall mentioning your name in any post but if the shoe fits, please feel free to wear it. And what was it you spent 9 years doing? Your profile says that you've only been here since feb. Your math is about as bad as Dons......putting people in a minority.....Hasve you two looked at how many members there are here, and how many people like you and Don post the way you do just to start shit? Do the math.... NOW who's the minority? And Don is right. He didn't start this thread, but he sure turned it into another one of his court holding sessions. As far as me being some kind of forum cop.... I couldn't care less. I know how to avoid threads if I choose to, And if you do a little research you'll see that i seldom post here at all. Mainly when Don shows what a jerk he really is, and now it seems that your following in his footsteps. Goos luck with that.

An Open Letter to Administration - What's the Mission? - I hate to say it but there are more people from the state of missouri on here then in utah... and florida makes up almost as much as missouri... us swingers are everywhere on here... If you don't like what is in the forum why don;t you post up something of your own and let it fly!

Boise swingers? - Any out there? - Curious to see if there are any Boise or treasure valley swingers groups? I feel like I’ve been looking and have yet to find it, but I’m sure i just don’t have the right connection yet.