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Fly-fishing Swingers - New Swingular Group - A most excellent group to have!
Serious questions from a newbie.. - - I read that the lack of drug use creates intelligent individuals to leave incredibly lengthy posts about the subject of drugs and their effect on Swingers and the general population!
Let's start a thread about secrets and techniques that increase the frequency and intensity of the male and female orgasm! Now that would be worthy of 4 pages and hundreds of paragraphs... LOL.
I'm just joking with you guys.. Compelling information and well thought out responses. Enjoy what's left of your weekend..
UtHot
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Well we are barely 30 and we find that we usually end up with couples mostly our age, not for any particular reason its just how it seems to work out. We have hung out
Are there any real players on this site? - - We have met some really fun people on this site but we are I Utah and it seems to be more active here. I think half the profiles think they want to be swingers, make a profile then get scared and never come back. Lol.
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - We have an amazing group that get together often it is awesome, but unfortunately we are in Lehi.
Other activities? - Do you only meet swingers for sex? - we also meet most for friendship. we play if we have the chemistry, but that\'s not a given
We like to boat and go out on the town with our lifestyle friends. We have them over for dinner and stuff as well...
Friend collectors or swingers - - My opinion, which hasn't changed in ages, is this, and I'm not chastising anyone, just offering my 2 cents.
One of the recurring and biggest problem that swingers face is that they decide what they personally like, or want, and then assume everyone else should choose the same path or they don't understand why how everyone else doesn't feel the same way they do. I've read the forum posts for years and the same questions recirculate on a regular basis. "Why don't people want to be the type of swingers we are?" "We don't want friends, we just want to have sex." "We don't necessarily want to have sex until we are friends." "We really only want friends but rarely play." All valid forms of the lifestyle and perfectly acceptable to different people.
The lifestyle can take work. It typically isn't easy and will take some time and effort to achieve your lifestyle goals. Sure it's helpful to post your desires in your profile but I'm sure people read those only rarely, or maybe they are drunk searching, or maybe they can't read. :) There are all types. Try not to get frustrated because someone else isn't following you lead. Be patient. Within one or two convos you should be expressing your goals and figuring out the goals of the people you are trying to get to know. Get a system that weeds out the people you are't interested in, something that works for you. You will get better with time and hopefully someday what you are looking for will be much easier to find.
However, until then, realize life isn't black and white, nor is swinging. There are as many varieties of swingers as there are ice cream flavors, or flavored condoms. haha. Don't expect others to want the same thing as you but certainly look for those that do. Be patient, kind and realize everyone is possibly looking for a different scenario than you. Some people love to send blind requests, some hate it. Right or wrong, it's life. Accept that there is mound of bullshit between you and that perfect couple/single male/female/trans/group/poly/donkey/toys only/DTF.... (Well, you get the point we are all looking for something different)that you are looking for.
So don't be frustrated. Accept it will be a challenge and work on better ways to make your life easier. There won't be a good answer only many shades of grey.
"Don't try to bend the spoon, for that is impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth... there is no spoon. Then you will see it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself."
And to the single males that post ridiculous stuff? WTF? Ugh. You make us all look like mentally disabled Neanderthals.
"Me have dick. Me like pussy. Stick it good."
Friendship vs. spontaneity? - Are you here to make friends or just to fuck? - The perception of this lifestyle is that there is a whole lot of sex going on between everyone. Maybe if you are young slim and trim and willing to go to bed with everyone at the drop of a hat that is true. But that pretty much describes the young anyway. If that is your perception of all swingers, and you are here in Utah, then you are bound to be disappointed.
I think that this question comes up a lot because it is not a simple question for many of us and it seems to be posted by those seeking friends first. The end goal may be sex. But if that is your only goal then why do you say you are seeking friends. Friendships are not made in 30 seconds or a drink over at the pub. If that is what makes friendships in your mind then you are really just here for sex.
For us it is finding friends. Some folks that we meet we will play with and some we will be just friends with. It really boils down to a 4 way vote when it comes to the bedroom and maybe even being friends in the first place. And that is what makes finding friends and bedroom partners difficult. There is always the added fear of rejection that gets in the way when you want to anything anyone.
I look at all the complaints of one-nighters and couples that never speak again after sex. I can only surmise that for those folks sex is the only yard stick of friendship. You do not have to be sexually compatible to be friends.
We have found that if what you are looking for is friends, then it is easy to be part of the lifestyle. If what you are looking for is based on having sex then it is easy to be disappointed and difficult to be part of the lifestyle.
Furthermore we look at those that just want to screw and think how lonely their existence must be.
question about kinks/fetishes - terminology question - I know this may be self explanatory.but I(male) am JUST a guy and i dont get it.
the term s anal sex "giving" and anal sex "recieving"
anal sex "giving" means BEING penetrated? or does it mean DOING the penetrating?
anal sex "receiving " would then mean the opposite.
EX: Female likes be penetrated anally so she is giving or is she receiving?
She would "giving" her anal opening to her partner but then again she would be "receiving" her partners organ into her anal opening.
I looked in the swingers glossary and found nothing that differentiates between the two.
Call me dumb,ignorant or whatever I dont care. As long as i get an honest answer .
my wife likes to be penetrated anally and i like penetrating her anally but i am just not quite sure which is the correct way to mark the boxes in the kink/fetish section of the profile.
Thanks and Happy Swinging
M&L
Black Rings - Do Swingers really? - We both have black rings on our right ring fingers. They have each others nicknames on them.
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