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MSNBC Article on Swingers - actually a positive one :) - now who thinks her and her hubby are at that club every friday? LOL
Friendship vs. spontaneity? - Are you here to make friends or just to fuck? - The perception of this lifestyle is that there is a whole lot of sex going on between everyone. Maybe if you are young slim and trim and willing to go to bed with everyone at the drop of a hat that is true. But that pretty much describes the young anyway. If that is your perception of all swingers, and you are here in Utah, then you are bound to be disappointed.
I think that this question comes up a lot because it is not a simple question for many of us and it seems to be posted by those seeking friends first. The end goal may be sex. But if that is your only goal then why do you say you are seeking friends. Friendships are not made in 30 seconds or a drink over at the pub. If that is what makes friendships in your mind then you are really just here for sex.
For us it is finding friends. Some folks that we meet we will play with and some we will be just friends with. It really boils down to a 4 way vote when it comes to the bedroom and maybe even being friends in the first place. And that is what makes finding friends and bedroom partners difficult. There is always the added fear of rejection that gets in the way when you want to anything anyone.
I look at all the complaints of one-nighters and couples that never speak again after sex. I can only surmise that for those folks sex is the only yard stick of friendship. You do not have to be sexually compatible to be friends.
We have found that if what you are looking for is friends, then it is easy to be part of the lifestyle. If what you are looking for is based on having sex then it is easy to be disappointed and difficult to be part of the lifestyle.
Furthermore we look at those that just want to screw and think how lonely their existence must be.
Going out on a limb... - - I'm not sure that what I am about to say has anything to do with this thread,
but I am beyond pissed right now and I feel the need to vent... so here goes.
Why do single males have a hard time?
On another swingers site, a section of our profile states..
"Please be discreet when sending us a Yahoo instant message."
There's nothing worse then having a message pop up on the screen
that says "YOUR WIFE HAS GREAT TITS ARE YOU INTERESTED IN A HUNG SINGLE MALE?"
While showing off your vacation pictures to visiting relatives, friends, etc."
So what happens.... a message just like that pops up.
I type back and say "Why would you send a message like that?"
"Do you have any clue who is looking at this computer screen right now?"
I get back...
"I'm on [swinger site name] and I like your pics... do you want to meet?"
I point out where it states being discreet on the IM and I add
"What the hell is wrong with you sending messages like that?"
Here's what I get back....
"WELL YOU'RE THE ONE LETTING STRANGE GUYS FUCK YOUR WIFE"
Now we've played with many single guys... and I know that many many many
are really nice and intelligent and mature.... but this one really set you all back
several notches.... It just isn't worth it when I'm clued in to the mind set that
exists among a percentage of you.
Playing with \"swingers\" vs \"nonswingers\" - - We prefer not to mix the two sides of our life up! That is, we keep to ourselves that we are swingers with everyone except other swingers. Isn\'t that what \"Discreet\" means? We have only had one couple approach us at a \"non-swinger\" social function and talk to us like we should be getting together with them - all while in front of our real-life friends. When this thoughtless couple left our table, the other 3 couples there asked what that was all about. We actually ignored the question and went right on enjoying our evening -- without any real trouble.
We always talk to each other in private when we are out at a night club and wonder between ourselves how this or that person might be in bed -- but we never act on those impulses. It is our belief that most people would be shocked, but not necessarily in awe about our swinging behavior. Therefore, we do not ask non-swingers to play with us.
Most of the other responses here are right on target. Those that do not have experience with swinging are not really prepared to handle the social/sexual interactions between 3 or 4 people -- hell, most swingers we know (including us) don\'t do a very good job of handling it!
There certainly seem to be alot of very hot swingers to choose from at this website, we wonder why you would have to go outside to find what you are looking for?
YOLO Cruise April 26 2009 - swingers cruise - Hi every one... I am Ivy, he is Rafael from NY .. any one from NY goping to the cruise.. is the first time we go to a swinger cruise.. Any first timer...looking foward to have fun and meet new friends
couples with kids - - We have 4 kids, 3 of which are under 3 years old. An 8 year old girl, 2 year old twin girls, and a one year old boy, so we totally understand the frustration that comes along with being loving parents and active swingers. To two worlds aren't always compatable. We have tried in vain to find a good sitter for all the kids, so most of the time we end up swinging when our oldest is off at a sleepover with a friend and the other babies are in bed. Today for instance, my wife and I had our girlfriend over for fun till 5:30 this morning and the kids got up an hour later!lol. So I am up with them taking care of the kids while the women sleep it off. Hard, but a small price to pay for a hot 3-some! Anyhow, as most swinging parents know....get it when you can, and if not....NO BIG DEAL. The kids needs come first. It's only sex after all. Just would like to say thanks to all the hot couples in Utah that have invited us to house parties etc. Some day we will get a sitter and get out of the house! I promise! ~A & J~
LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - Done...guilty!!!!
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - Not really sure how to say this but to be straight out in the open. I found out at about 16 that my folks were swingers (they are nudist also) so the house was a very open one. We had nothing to hide, I even played with some of their friends and they took me to my first house party.
Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - Add us sanpetesinners
Just looking for other couples happy with super soft and no swap - There must be more of us out there? - Though a bit defeatist, this started off as a reasonable post, and coming from an understandably frustrating overall experience. I am amazed at the level of ignorance following. Everyone getting all defensive about their choices, where they fall in the scheme of things, what I do and you should too. It's so unnecessary. I experience this in SO many different communities... The LGBT community is judgmental and coarse with Bisexual and Trans people, Western Medicine usually moves to deem Eastern medicine totally ineffective before acknowledging its place or use for anything despite its true benefits, in the realm of Non-monogamy the Polyamorous won't have themselves being mixed up with the 'likes' of Swingers, in the Swinger community soft-swappers are passed up as unadventurous. Time and time again I am shown how many adults truly do live with some sort of high school mentality, who is cooler, buys bigger, more liberal, commits greater, goes faster and farther, it is all SO ridiculous and unproductive.
Of course soft-swap can still be satisfying for those who have also done full. I don't think anyone healthy could look at this as a no-turning-back sort of lifestyle. As your life changes and grows so will your preferences and desires. Some of you scoffing at the soft-swappers may find yourself desiring that very thing in the future. And many soft-swappers will evolve into full-swapping. There will always be someone who's views are copacetic with your own, but why aren't there more that are respectful? You can take the time to understand ones position without agreeing with it, and better still, the tried and true "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." The ridicule is just not necessary. Best of luck to everyone, in all your adventures. I know we could sure use some. :)
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