La Plume Swingers in Pennsylvania

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What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

A Quick Poll for Couples - - Full disclosure. I work for a secret branch of the NSA (the Perverts Surveillance Unit) and we're keeping track of all you disgusting swingers and your filthy, sinful ways along with Sydney University, through a grant from the American Council on Religious Freedom, and we're hoping to eventually develop a vaccine to kill all your sex drives and make you repent and return to Jesus. The data the that I collect will be used to petition President Trump (who only PRETENDS to be a philandering letch and is really a pious, faithful God-fearing man who was handpicked by The Almighty Creator to bring America, and the world, back to the moral and religious standards that this country was founded on. So enjoy your filthy little hobby while you can ecause the day of reckoning is fast approaching and soon the naughtiest thing you'll be able to do on a Saturday night is go to a Jamba Juice "bar" for a smoothie and watch the 700 Club on TV before mandatory lights out at 10pm. Hallelujah! [img]https://media.giphy.com/media/3oriOaLBINGcizAdJm/giphy.gif[/img] And yes, it IS an "Invasion of Pricacy".

clubs in san antonio?? - - i am new to the area and need to know where a good "club" is!! i have a g/f now and she has never been to a swingers club before!! PLEASE HELP!!

Swingular still active/ legit? - Looking for couples or singles - [quote=massageBBCguy][quote=MEOWMIX10000]This site is overrun with Single Males whos sole purpose in life seems to be posting Dick Pics. Actual Swingers are few and far between here. I would wait and see how the site update is before paying money. [/quote]AWM. lol 😂 [/quote] what?

Mormon Swingers - - Maybe this is what you heard about? Yeah, you'll need a temple recommend...and some white clothes. [url=https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph59233bbb6991f]Temple Porn[/url]

Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - It's hard to find a group of couples like this but love the idea!

TOUGH MUDDER - We're putting together a team for a Tough Mudder - :( there has to be some athletic swingers out there. There just HAS to be. LOL

Karaoke?!!!! - Working on some fun times with a local bar...Who would be interested? - Good to see so many swingers out there who enjoy karaoke like we do. I DJ karaoke at a local bar and the wife is one of my regular singers. We also look for it when we hit the big city. At least if we make it to Utah some time we know we can find a place to sing party :-)

Calling all losers! - LS and club scene - ...........................................I am bored on a Sunday, so going to waste a bit of time. :) I have said this before and I will mention it again here. Often times people are looking for a black and white answer, a "this" or "that" or they tend to pigeonhole themselves into a place that feels comfortable to them. It is great that people can search for and find people of similar interests. The original question was why is the Utah scene so closely related to the club scene. To me, that isn't necessarily the way things are and so I am responding to shed a different insight into the question. How big is the club scene in Utah? I don't feel it is that big. We have the Moose Lounge on Fridays on a regular basis, we used to have Habits and then we have the parties that happen once a month or less frequently, such as the Sinful parties. Give or take a few other club locations and attendees. The average attendance at the Moose Lounge is around 80 people every Friday. My guess is that this number is well under 10% of the swinging population in the area. Just estimating. This only happens once a week. If we only consider the weekend as play time (Friday and Saturday), which is also an inaccuracy since people do meet weekdays and Sunday as well, that means that only 5% of the population of swingers is actually attending the swinger club scene on the weekends. Certainly not a majority by any means. Sinful is definitely a club scene. And maybe we should define "club". I will say that is an environment where there is a DJ or another form of music, often times on the loud side as people like to dance, has a dance area for such activities, and typically doesn't open until 9 or so at night. Sinful probably hosts on average 150 people on average (S&A, don't get mad if this number is off,lol) and these happen maybe once a month. Lets just round this high and say that is 20% of the swinger population. However, many that attend the Moose and other clubs are the same that attend Sinful. Similar crowd and often an overlap. So still nowhere near a majority, or even a large percent. In fact, quite the opposite. This scene is well in the minority. So I am submitting that this really isn't and accurate assessment of the situation and based on more of a sense or feeling than actual fact. What this tells us then is that most of the people in the lifestyle are not meeting at clubs and are not necessarily dancing and staying up until all hours of the night but are finding other avenues where they meet. What other options are out there. Venus Game night, Kandy K, Sensual Massage... These venues are not club scenes, are a relaxed place and quiet enough to talk without "using hand signals". There still might be music and a dance floor, but there are certainly quite areas to talk, socialize and sometimes even fuck, if that is your scene. I would estimate that as many or more people attend these type of events and for most of these it is an older crowd who is more apt to be in bed at an earlier hour, though that is also an assumption and assumptions are obviously a poor way to derive information or determine a truth. I would question if any of the people in this forum have attending these more mellow parties and what they didn't like about that. The loud music is gone, it is a great way to meet many nice, non-pushy people with similar interests and since the crowd is a bit more mature (probably not the Venus parties) then there would be people of similar interests there. Now it may be of benefit of the party hosts to start earlier, say 6 or 7, so the activities can finish up earlier and I'm sure the hosts would entertain that if it was a common complaint. Apart from these types of parties and club scenes the only other way to meet people in a group setting are house parties, although keep in mind the Sinful hosts to things outside of the club but the crowd will usually still be the same people who attend the Sinful Club parties so are probably younger and okay with staying up late and partying, so probably not for the majority of people responding on this forum looking for an early-to-bed group. Let's talk about house parties. The ones we host sometimes have upwards of 60 or 70 people. These are people we have met before, for the most part, and we don't invite random people to these. We have an area to dance, music, but also areas that are quiet. The party starts around 7 and goes until... whenever. 6 am at times, but many leave before that. These aren't orgy parties and people don't show up expecting that. We also do game nights where we have 3-5 couples over for games, drinks, no dancing, hot tub, etc. Also people we know. We have been to many house parties as well and it is usually people we have met before. We are very leery of parties where there is some expectation to show up and fuck. We avoid these. Not our scene. But these house parties are out there. The doors close at 9, naked by 10, fucking by 1015. You are expected to fuck someone. Definitely not for us but definitely an okay and acceptable thing for others. Judgment is such an incredibly hypocritical thing in the lifestyle and I am astounded by how many people judge others. It is one thing to not enjoy a certain thing and to stay away from it, but it demean it, negate the validity of it and try to reduce the people who do it is completely asinine. My point is there is a variety, a full spectrum to every aspect of the lifestyle. From people looking only to make friends to people only looking to fuck. There is no right and wrong or black and white. We have so many good friends now that we feel super fortunate and blessed every day. But how did we meet those friends. Here is the key. Through hard work. Through dinner dates, clubs, social events, house parties and networking. Remember, this is my opinion, so please, readers, don't get offended. If you limit yourself to one avenue your success will be limited and you will have very few options in finding that fun couple that you click with. Many of our friends that we have met at a club typically like to be in bed at 10, or sometimes like to stay up late. Some of the people we have met in the most casual environment turn out to be crazy, fun party animals. I'm not saying if you don't attend the clubs you won't find what you are looking for especially since we have already determined that the club scene is so small. What I am saying is that if you are expecting a one-stop shop, or a fix-all, your success will be super limited. Your goal, I believe, is to meet as many people as possible and then sort through those you like and don't like until you are satisfied with your results. If you label the "club scene" as negative in your own mind, you might also be inadvertently labeling other fun activities and only reinforcing the confirmation bias you already have. Don't limit yourself to one way of finding friends, especially since it sounds like it isn't working that well for you now. We have found friends in every imaginable situation. Single dates, group dates, vacations, house parties and yes, clubs. I know our way works simply by the amount of amazing people that surround us and we call friends, and yes, some friends with benefits. Taking the time to start a topic is a good idea. The people on here all seem to have a similar interest and maybe some of you will take advantage of that, meet, and if things align, you make new friends. Maybe there is a need for a group to form that meets around 6 and finishes around 10 where only wine is served and only soft music is playing in the background. If so, take the initiative and form such a group. Create your own success. Maybe there needs to be a better way to post smaller events where only a few couples are going camping, coffee drinking, or similar. And maybe it is on Swingular and just not being utilized correctly. I'm sure with enough feedback the site could be fitted with such a feature. So don't despair. There are many, many people with similar interests and needs. You just have to find them. Each scene and venue has positives and negatives. Try to focus on the negative and utilize the resources that they are and you just might find your holy grail of FWB or what else it is you are looking for. Good job on the topic and hopefully that perfect couple is just around the corner. Mr. SRO...................................................................................................

Pink flamingo - How many swingers have a pink flamingo in their front yard? - [quote=MountainAdventures]Yeaa, all the "secret" swinging hints and references are all just funny. Even then I would love to see an upside down pineapple in the grocery cart.[/quote] I have actually shopped numerous times with an upside down pineapple in the cart but have never got a reaction. So sad 😞