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What would you do? - what does a person do when their spouse no longer wishes to paticipate - There have been a lot of valid and reasonable points made. My fiancee and I are swingers, and we enjoy seeing each other with the same sex, as well as, the opposite sex. We have sat down and discussed it at great lengths. Like Tequila stated, it is recreational, it does not define our relationship. We like to meet as a couple, and we play as a couple, never separately. That is us, and how we swing.
I agree that they must sit down and discuss it. Not sure about the counseling. I think they work it out between themselves.
I wish them the best!
Ron
Extramarital Affairs and the Lifestyle - Where do you stand? - **Bottom line here is can we just stop all the finger pointing, labeling, and judging? Morals are a personal thing and eveyone is entitled to theirs and I\'m of the mind set...don\'t force yours down my throat and I won\'t force mind down yours.**
Wrong. No one is interested in passing judgement here. Simply stating the facts as they are.
Also, I think that some of us have returned to the cheating vs swingnig morality issue that we agreed earlier was NOT the intended direction this thread was going in. The issue IS a moral one, as someone pointed out. However it isnt whether or not CHEATING is the same as SWINGING.
Since the thread has been joined by so many other now (AND I THANK YOU GUYS FOR STEPPING UP AND SHARING!) several differing points of view have emerged.
Some \"vanilla\" or traditional people attempt to convince their mates to swing (MALE OR FEMALE) and for whatever eason that partner says NO. That person can not accept this answer for whatever reason, and decides it is worth risking everything they hold dear to swing.
We have explored that.
On the other hand, other \"vanilla\" people HAVE NEVER, AND WOULD NEVER EVEN ATTEMPT TO BROACH THE SUBJECT TO THEIR MATES. For fear of hearing NO, for fear of divorce...whatever...These same people, as one of our single gentleman pointed out...would look down upon us and label us sinners for being \"SWINGERS\" and all that they quite incorrectly feel that entails, and then in the same breath, go out and CHEAT on their mates. (I know one where she cheated on her husband with the pasteur of their church!)
Cheating is actually more accpetable than swinging to a LOT of \"vanilla\" people. To share their mate, agree on the format, and practice an open dialogue about it is unthinkable.
To cheat is not.
>>TO ADDRESS THE CHEATING SWINGER ISSUE AGAIN<<
This was never meant to single out you single guys out there, and I am not going to defend this post, or our stand on it. If you have read our profile, you should understand that we date single men and women almost exclusively! We just prefer to know the TRUTH about your situation, and beleive it or not, in this lifestyle...that is a tall order.
As someone else said, that is a choice each of you has to make. We would prefer to know the truth about your situation so that we can decide to say NO for fear of creating hurt feelings and contributing to the end of a relationship that we are not even a part of. My mind will not allow me to justify what my heart knows to be just plain wrong.
Luvbugs!
;)
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - We do DP often... It is one of my most favorite sexual encounters... Mr Knotty is my "backdoor man" but if we get to know a man very well, he does get to ring the rear bell on occasion once trust has been built...
Certified Single Male Program - What do you think? - I personally see this life style as a community. The Good, the Bad; and the Ugly are all here in microcosm. I think we can all use a little education and improvement. That does not mean that anyone person that takes that instruction will change his or her ways. But it does not hurt to try it. I have read the information that is available here and think that everyone should do so. I believe that such a program will limit the population of single men by keeping some of those that are here only for trophy sex out. Those that really believe in the lifestyle as a community will be willing to put forth the effort to be part of it. I think this will actually increase the number of couples and swinging singles that are willing to join and pay money for the privilege.
Swingular actually feels like a site for swingers where AFF has become nothing but a sex site for those that like to look and send emails. If you think that the number of single males is large here you should look there and I assume that most of you have. The majority of the women and couples there are non-paying. It does not appear that this is the case on Swingular. The admin here seem to care about this community and AFF could not care less. The fact that they are willing to put this out in open forum tells me that they do care about their customers. I have not seen the same from other sites.
I would like admin to put something more solidly together and then let us pick at it. Most systems can and should be tweaked from time to time. Maybe we can make some good observations and maybe we won
single males - - Thank you for opening the topic. I hope that it will be used shed some insight and not just complain.
In a place like Habits there are vanilla singles that have no clue that swingers congregate there. So there will naturally be more problem in that environment than a private party.
At a house party the only people that should be there are those that are invited by the host and hostess. Every one of the guests should have known the rules or etiquette of this lifestyle. If you had complaints, they should have been addressed last night with the hosts. Evidently the balance you were looking for was not there.
Sadly it is difficult for most singles to figure out how to talk to a swinging couple. There are no schools or training centers to teach this. As a single male, conversation at a vanilla party with a couple is much easier. Most often the men and women separate and we talk with one or the other without expectations on either side. Sometimes conversation is just conversation.
I find that making friends is generally more difficult in this lifestyle because of the sexual expectations of many. I think that you will find a number of the single men, after getting the cold shoulder from many husbands, find it easier to attempt to talk to the women because they lack the skills to talk with both. It is a mistake but it is also part of the learning process.
There is no excuse for rude behavior on the part of the single male but neither is there an excuse for the typical married male attitude. Single males are always and have always been a pariah and dam few couples want them at any party. I came into this lifestyle as a single male looking to make male friends to hang with that would help me understand the rules. I found most of the males were cold and suspicious and difficult to talk with.
I was not looking for women to play with nearly as much as I was looking for a girlfriend that was already in the lifestyle. But I am sure that as far as most were concerned all I wanted to find was their wife
Help us out.. Take this Survey - For Utah Swingers - [quote=PASSIONATEFUN]Wish you had an area for comments . . .this being Utah, know you can't replicate Scarlett Ranch in Denver or Sea Mountain in Palm Springs, but if you could do something like that on occasion, great. Of course, the days of summer outdoor parties are nearing an end.[/quote]
Good point.. I'll add something for comments...
Highly unlikely those places could be replicated here for legal reasons..... Also, the swinger community here in Utah is REALLY tiny compared to other states.. (We like to think it's big... but most other states have much larger, much more active communities than we do).
new to the scene - - Thanks for the response grouptherapist, guess first off what is agood way to get more involved in swinging. Do not know of any swingers in our area but sure there is
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - We have an amazing group that get together often it is awesome, but unfortunately we are in Lehi.
they fix mobile and killed photo albums - - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]It is just part of the new mobile rollout. You can only see each individual profile picture at a specific GPS coordinate. The idea is that swingers will bump into each other while they are all out looking for the locations that let them catch each others naked profile pictures. [/quote]
Might not be naked. Might just be suffering from mange. [em]Emo_8[/em]
Mormonmomtok - Tiktok mormon swingers - This is old news. Not in the lifestyle really. It's just drama for money.
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