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What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

Meet and Greet Interest - Meet and greet - [quote=BMTWINFUN]Dies anyone know of an active swingers group in Southern Idaho? Magic Valley, (Twin Falls, Burley, Pocatello )[/quote] We have one in the Idaho Falls-Pocatello area, as you know because you are a member of it...LOL

Spanish Fork to American Fork - Utah - [quote=JoeThe1Mac]I have been on this site for 8 months. Reached out to couples that advertised for SM. I have run ad"s in the hookup section. What I have found in the state of Utah is for couples and most women is WOMF. Not that this disappoints me, it just the double standard. Heck AFF picked up all of the Craigslist picture collectors. But I believe to each there own. 😘[/quote] WOMF?!!? [url=https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=WOMF]WOMF Urban Dictionary[/url] But that's why I suggested possibly exploring sites like FetLife and others where there is a large, active cuck community looking for what you seem to be seeking. I'm fairly certain that the number of mainstream swingers who are looking for a cuck-type situation is really quite small. And I really don't think that's specific to Utah. But no matter where you look to find people who are into cuckolding you must know that the odds are against you because there are SO very many single males who are seeking ANY kind of no-strings sex whether it's cuckoldry or not.

Then there's this. - Enjoy! - [quote=Sm435]There is no argument nor debate. Sorry for you mask protagonists, but you lost. There are mandates all over the country and we still keep pumping out huge numbers of new cases every single day. The only thing this mask mandate ever did was enable people to feel empowered and place blame in others. We are all fighting the same virus, all of us, but people who buy in and think they are better or smarter than others take this as a way to point fingers. You posted a news story that labeled every swinger at that a party as a SPREADER and the party it’s self as a SUPERSPREADER event. This is 100% backed up by facts that includes testing everyone at the party for covid, finding some with advanced cases that cause almost everyone else to leave that party with covid right? Or in reality they busted a swingers party and have no real fact that covid was involved in any way. This is called non-factual news. Reposting non factual news, and labeling people who decide to go out and live as “spreaders” is the same VERY POOR TASTE as labeling all the homeless people in Pioneer Park as HIV STD needle junkies. You have facts to back that up to right? Or again, you’re throwing labels on people you feel are less than you and don’t fit nor follow your views. I’m sorry but those people living in the park are people too. We love swinging because we love people. New faces, old faces, all of them. We have dear friends in the lifestyle we do NOT share the same views on politics nor covid. But when you sit down and hang out you find that we are all so similar. We wanna live happily, feel safe, and have a little fun when we can. What the world needs right now is love and compassion, not finger pointing and blame. How about we all make a deal on this forum to only post when we have something positive to say about someone else, or something fun and exciting we want to try or do. When we have an urge to repost or comment on something negative we put the phone down, take a deep breath, and put that energy towards something positive like pleasing our spouse or sending a lifestyle friend a compliment and let all the negative shit get buried under the positive![/quote] 👏👏👏 I love it when somebody says what I'm thinking!

Friend collectors or swingers - - Hi we are from vernal and we would like to get to know u guys if u have a kik we can all chat together my kik is robinak1999 if u would like to chat we are looking to get to know a couple and have regular meet ups hope to hear from u

asking your swinger friend if you can join them. - - [quote=USSIR]Well, I have a co-worker that I have been friends with for a while and recently found they are a swingers, it wasn't shocking to me or anything just thought it was interesting. So some time has passed and I thought I wonder if I could join them sexually. To me it would just be awkward to as him that. Obviously I'm not going to ask him "hey can I bang your wife?" I don't care if it was both of them or just her, I've always thought she was hot and I consider my co-worker a good friend. So, how do I ask that and/or is it a bad idea? Thanks [/quote] As a single male also in this lifestyle who has faced a similar situation my advice would be to just openly talk about the lifestyle, involve both him and his wife in the convo casually over drinks one night when your just hanging out. Basically plant a seed and see if it grows, realistically if they are into the lifestyle and are open to the idea they will invite you, but its best to let them think its their idea to include you. For some couples it just might be out of bounds to include friends into their sexploits.

Event Ideas - Can we get more events that don't center around alcohol and dancing? - [quote=TRIXIEE][quote=EUPHORICFLOODTIDES]How about pajama and lingerie porn night at the movies. The attendees come dressed for bed. Think a small Independent theater would be game?[/quote] Humph ... we TRIED to get a group to meet at the DRIVE INN theater on Riverdale Rd last year but I think we were the only ones that showed up ... NO ONE made an attempt at introductions at the vehicle we said we'd be in [/quote] Tee-hee, I'm picturing the mess left at a "small independent theater" after a swingers viewing of a porn show. How much do ya gotta pay someone to clean that one up? [em]Emo_85[/em] Then I'm picturing a porn pic being displayed on a Riverdale Drive in theater, wondering how long before the cops'd be there to bust it up 'cause of all the teenagers parked on that road out front trying to peer over the fence!! But seriously, that seems to be what I've noticed about some of the "alternate" events that get proposed -- seems like a good idea but no one shows up? It'd be fun to go to the drive-in though Trixiee, maybe we ought-a try that again when the season arrives. So does anyone know where I can get a cheap panel van?? [em]Emo_28[/em]

Kw0112 - Any Nashville swingers out there ? - New to this Coming ro Nashville on the 24th. We are a couple looking for a couple or female for weekend fun

Any swingers advise for Spain? - Swing clubs in Madrid - [quote=FUN4ALL208]One thing to watch out for are escorts(prostitutes) if you see an odd couple say an obese Turkish man with a hot lil thing. Escort. Half the time they'll say they aren't going to do anything, just want to watch their "girlfriend" have some fun. Just don't do it. Same goes with most of the swinger clubs in Europe. Sorry we don't have a recommendation for a club.[/quote] I dunno about Spain, but the STD thing isn't much of a problem among the licensed prostitutes/escorts in Germany, it's legal, and they're careful and have regular checkups, so I'd say have fun with the girl and let the old perv watch and jack off. Who cares? And a lot of the prostitutes over there are otherwise "normal" girls. The old cliche about the girl working her way through college? Happens in Germany, and some other European counties. Prostitution isn't exactly a high class job, but doing it while young doesn't necessarily ruin a girl's whole life. Different laws, and a different social attitude. Now that doesn't apply to streetwalkers, who are most likely drug addicts, and may also not apply in Spain. It's a highly Catholic country, and while I don't know their laws, I wouldn't be surprised if prostitution was illegal there, and if they had all the problems associated with it that exist in the U.S.

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - BICOU4BIF_FL, Again, your experience is unique to you. It's been our experience that very few single men have been "pushy" or disrespectful. It's different for all of us and doesn't justify anyone trying to foil every single males swinging life by campaigning against them as a whole. Intolerance is never justified. If you choose individually not to play with singles, then that is ok. We all have our preference. However, why try and bad mouth the entire group, in an attempt to demonize them to everyone else or to exclude them from social gatherings. If you invite people that are interested in single males to your parties, it will even things out. I think a lot of it has to do with insecurity. I have yet to see a married woman fuck a single male at a party without the her and husband's consent. Alton wrote: "but thats your opinion ,,you are right & we are wrong then again we are right & you are wrong,, it's funny, its a no win situation,lol" Thanks for validating my analogy for murder, abortion, marijuana or any other subject. If you say it's ok to be racist, because it's your opinion. Then it should be ok to murder, because it's your opinion. Your logic is flawed. ;-) -D-