Haileyville Swingers in Oklahoma

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Info for Noobs - - Bored at work today so I thought I would share some thoughts, since I know you have all been waiting for me to say something more. Don't deny it. :) I figured I would share some insights for noobs or just anyone else who will connect with our experiences. I already posted the 101 of what I thought was important, so this will be less rules and more insight. We seem to meet a lot of people who are just beginning and they always have the same questions. So.... The first thing to realize is that swingers are just like everyone else, just kinkier. They don't all fuck sheep (some do) or masterbate in public ( I do), but for the most part are just regular citizens who happen to like exciting sexual adventures. For the most part people are not very pushy, and if they are, you can quickly diffuse them just by being direct and telling them where you stand, or lie, or bend over. :) If they don't, probably a creepy couple who you don't want to see anyway. Most of the house parties we have been to are fairly mellow. Apart from the nakedness there doesn't seem to be a lot of random acts of sex happening all over the place. So don't be afraid to go to the parties, but ask before you go what the party is like. Nobody will rape you unless you like that sort of thing. We were so nervous during our first party that we sat in the car drinking until some people we knew walked us in. By the end of the night, I was the only one in my underwear. Awkward. Not really. There isn't a magical solution to meeting people. You have to make contact, talk to them and eventually meet, hopefully in an environment where you have a quick route of escape if needed. We used to invite new couples to our house for a hot tub night but quickly realized if there was no attraction for us, it was often times hard to politely get them to leave. So coffee, drinks something simple is best. We have met some of our greatest friends in the LS and are sure to meet more. The people tend to be open minded, friendly, educated and fun to be around. So even if you don't intend on playing with someone you might keep the option open for a lasting friendship, though some on the site are definitely NOT looking for that. You can figure that out pretty quickly. The Sinful parties are a great, no pressure way to meet people. Shout out to J & A (and M, I never forget M). :) The Orchard parties tend to get a little more rambunctious, but only upstairs, at least at the venue by Brewvies. So it is also a good place to go if you want to just chill, or if you want to be a little more daring and see sex or have sex. We haven't been to as many manor parties, but they are well done and seem casual as well. Don't think we have ever seen any sexual acts at Manor. Habits is definitely turning out to be a swinger's hangout. Saturdays seem to be the biggest turnout for the LS. Can be some creepers there but for the most part it is fun and entertaining. Not our favorite but will do in a pinch. Our name is SameRoomOnly because when we started we were only having sex with each other, in front of others and figured we would never full swap. We learned quickly that rules are easily broken and that it is best to learn to communicate on the spot in any situation. We use hand gestures and do have a few code words if needed, though typically most people are very happy to hear open communication about what others in the situation want. We certainly do. If you don't want that ninth orgasm in a row, just tell me, I will back off. No hard feelings. Well, we have come a long way from SameRoomOnly. And here we are. Maybe a bit smarter, a lot kinkier and have a lot of fun experiences behind and ahead of us. I am raising my imaginary glass of bourbon to all of you we have met and to the good times. Cheers.

Just curious are we the only ones? - Just curious are we the only ones? - [quote=UNICORN73]Black rings? Really?? Soooo how well known is this fact? I would really like something that's discreet but yeah...says I'm in. But if they are vanilla...I don't want them to know at all! Am I gonna out myself to the world if I get a ring??[/quote] The idea of the black ring has been around for a long time. As early as the 60's by some accounts. However it is not generally well known. As such it's very uncommon to see anyone wearing them in public. Mrs. DandD and I have only seen one other couple wearing them and we have only had one other couple notice ours that we know of. It's also important to to note that black rings carry different meanings depending on who is wearing them. Members of the of homosexual community have been known to wear them on the right hand ring finger to indicate marriage when living where marriage was not legal for them. Members of the [url=http://www.asexuality.org/home/]AVEN[/url] community wear them on the middle finger of the right hand to identify each other. Finally swingers wear them on the right hand but not on the middle finger generally out of respect for and, I'm guessing, to avoid being confused as member of the AVEN community.

Secret facebook group for SLC? - - I actually started one: Northern Utah / Southwest Wyoming Swingers It isn't jumping yet, but would like to see more people added. Search for Nathan H., I live in Mtn View. I posted this in case you are interested in joining. I figured that if we were able to get a group going we could communicate in ways other than on here. The choice is yours, there is no pressure

YOLO Cruise April 26 2009 - swingers cruise - the way we look at it,,,,all these couples who "won" the cruise,,,,owes a round of drinks..!!!!! (wink)

How Old Is Old - - hey blueeyes, from our perspective at least, we think you are probably right and probably wrong at the same time!!! . . . you are right about being in the minority relative to the kind words offered by most in this post, but we really believe you are also part of the vast majority of swingers who use age as a primary basis for discrimination . . . kind of a strong opinion we suppose, except that we can see at least 4 different ways anyone can pretty easily check for age discrimination providing some basis for that opinion . . . BUT, before we go into all of that, please understand that we realize that everyone is entitled to discriminate in any way they see fit . . . in fact, discrimination is not just ok, it is absolutely necessary!!! . . . you see, no one has enough time to sample from every cup (sigh!!!), so everyone has to establish discriminating criteria . . . and, for sure, we're NOT feelin' sorry for ourselves; we realize it's just part of the deal . . . there is one more thing to mention before listing ways to check for age discrimination: we think there is a pretty easy and logical answer for the OP . . . those tired of reading already, can skip to the bottom and get that opinion . . . however, we kinda hope peeps continue reading 'cause, sooner or later, age is an issue everyone will face . . . so, how does one check for age discrimination??? . . . try this: pick any population center (like slc) . . . open a bunch of profiles in that population from different age groups (say, 30's, 40's, 50's, and beyond) . . . record the number of times each profile was "recently viewed" (ya know, that little statistic conveniently provided by swingular) . . . then, simply compare the numbers for the different age groups . . . if your sample is big enough, you will see profile interest decreases with age . . . if you don't want to do the math, just talk with folks of all ages and ask them what they see . . . i know many (most???) complain like crazy about email (but somehow, everyone seems ok with tweeting, texting, facebooking, etc - - - hmmm???) . . . and, shit, there is always face-to-face (omg!!!) . . . so anywho, find an acceptable way to communicate, just ask, and keep track of what people say . . . we've done that to some extent, without any surprises . . . (although this method takes a bit more time, it has the added benefit of allowing you to connect with others) . . . another way to look for age discrimination centers on visiting other swing sites . . . we won't mention those competitors, 'cause we don't want to upset swingular management . . . but, hey, most all of us know where to look anyhow . . . in our experience, virtually all other sites list age preferences inside each profile . . . so, open a bunch of 'em and note age preferences . . . if your sample is big enough, you will see that there is almost no interest in those beyond 55 . . . it's almost like a cliff, and that somehow, sex, sensuality, desirability, etc, have an expiration date . . . we would like to think that it really depends on the individuals involved . . . and finally, there is an acid test: simply stick around the lifestyle . . . sooner or later, you will have a personal verification of the age discrimination issue . . . btw, we hope you do stick around, and we hope you have a great time doing it . . . so, how old is too old??? . . . we simply believe you are too old when finding suitable partners becomes too hard . . . what is "too hard" and who is "suitable" will vary for everyone, so the chronological marker for every swinger will be a bit different . . . but, the bottom line is the same: you are too old when this business gets too hard . . . btw, we certainly hope our time doesn't come too soon!!! . . . cheers!!! . . .

Family Swingular Members - OMFG and you do a search and see a close family member on the list..... - My boyfriend was checkin out who was online and came across my parents. It was both shocking and kinda expected as I knew my parents were swingers and have for quite awhile. I texted my Mother and asked if she thought sexual orientation could be genetic and needless to say we had quite the conversation after that lol.

sh*t swingers say - to preach to the choir - LMFAO, that is funny as hell! And really, how many times do you here many of those comments at parties?

what if I want to but he doesn't - - [quote=NU2THEGAME]the worst part is that I consider myself intelligent with good common sense, so why can't i repress this- why is this so important to me right now? my hormones are taking over my common sense!! don't want to ruin a marriage for a cheap thrill- but also know that sex is a very important part of a marriage... part of it i'm sure is that I've been with him since i was 14..... i know this.[/quote] There are many little things that we all do without that do not really affect our lives to any degree. But sometimes the little things turn out to be really big things. I would say that you have found one of yours. I sounds like you are telling us that you everything your husband wants sexually. But there is something you need that you are not getting sexually. We could guess as to what that is but it would not help to guess. You need to examine and define what it is that you are lacking. Otherwise all we can do is talk in generalities. Some people only feel safe when things are neatly defined and unchanging. I think that most swingers will tell you that sexually we get into a rut or pattern with any lover and that for many of us that is like the end of life. Most will also tell you that this lifestyle helps to keep you feeling alive and part of the world. You learn knew things from different people and your world opens wider. Marriage changes how many think or act. Why that is would take many pages off topic. A marriage like good government should be one of give and take and compromise. Once one side had decided not to compromise or find a solution that makes their partner happy, then they have decided that the marriage is no linger important. As an example: A woman once told me that after marriage her husband only touched her once a year on a specific day. The rest of the time he was a cold fish. That is all he wanted and what she wanted did not matter. In a way that was sexual abuse of the worst magnitude. To choose a celibate life for one

Hotel Check In - - Anyone who works in a hotel for more than a few months will see some pretty freaky shit. Swingers are probably kind of mild compared to some of the things that they encounter.

The Vent part II - Secrecy - I once heard it put *I dont grow potatos where I get my meat*, I prefer to say *I dont play in my own backyard*. I know... I'm just one of *those* single men. You know, it doesnt sound like you give your *vanilla* friends much credit. You assume *they* would not enjoy a local *off premise* swingers club. Have you ever sat your vanilla friends down and talk to them (feel them out so to speak), to see if they are looking for ways to *spice* up their relationship? I've taken many *vanilla* women to the local swinger clubs. Ok, so some wont go back, but others are like *wow, that was fun!! I'm not into swinging and swapping, but these people are great!* Here in the Dallas / Ft Worth area, the lifestyle is HOT and happening! There are at least 7 off premise clubs, and as many on premise clubs. Plus many swingers in the area prefer going to the *vanilla* clubs to pick up men, women, and other couples. In MHO, IF, and I say IF, you go to a swinger club hoping/looking/expecting to pick up someone, I feel you've gone for the wrong reason. Go to have fun, meet new people, network, and IF you find someone at the club you enjoy being with, then I'm sure *as they say here in Texas* ya'll are going to have some swapping fun.... And yes, I have been part of a couple, with a few different women. Why am I not still a couple with any of them? They seem to start really getting into the lifestyle, and then they realize they're having too much fun, and scare themselves out of it. Oh yeah, and I'm the asshole single male, the most unwanted animal in the lifestyle. lol