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Help us out.. Take this Survey - For Utah Swingers - Completed.
Any Swingers out there? Golf swingers that is... - - Wish I was there in Utah. Would love to join in for a few rounds. When I lived in Phx. I had a pal who was had a open relationship. Winner got the wife after the round. She loved the exhibition trophy sex.
Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - I was looking through the forum subjects and when I came upon this one and looked I wondered why I hadn't commented, since I am a swinger and am poly for quite a few years and I am involved with 2 women as secondary relationships. Someone said "poly is about being monogomous within a plural relationship." The term monogamous doesn't even enter into poly. Poly relationships can be primary, secondary or tertiary. Further people can be added on add-infinitem, so long as everyone involved in particularly primary and soemtimes secondary relationships are consentual about that aspect. In tertiary relationships it is necessary that that they be aware of all other relaionships and OK with that concept.
I also belong to a Poly group that is not like Yahoo or AOL groups. It is privately owned and is open to poly and poly friendly people. While I know that a small number of the group does swing, they do not advertise. Poly people generally take issue with swinging as be strictly recreational SEX! and no love where as poly, supposedly, is love based not necessarily any sex....but sex usually is involved at some level. The attitude is that swinging is not a good thing that swinging is diametrically opposed to poly.
We definitely do swing and I have 2 secondary relationships. One could be a primary if she could get over the hurt from a failed..abusive marriage of 18 years. We met thru swinging and will continue until I can't walk talk or motovate. My wife while not professing to be poly is in love with that lady as well as I am. We would invite her to join us as a primary relationship and have mentioned that to her... She is afraid to "lay my heart out and have it stomped on again".
So while there are some similarities in swinging and poly in that more and more swingers are looking for relationships, i.e., "friends with benefits" ; "Friends in and out of the bedroom". These friendships are based on attraction and sex after the attraction. Poly people take the concept that poly is based on loving someone and if sex happens then OK, but that love is the key and sex is at best secondary. I don't have any problems with poly and swinging. We have met people while swinging and I have fallen in love or they have fallen in love with my wife or me.
Swinging and poly are definitely compatable..at least for us.
Playing with \"swingers\" vs \"nonswingers\" - - (practiced) Lifestylers have a certain mentality that should be taken in to consideration. They understand how the game is played, for lack of a better term.
It has been our experience that involving vanilla men can be fun initially, but in the end, we have regretted it most times.
Just our .02 cents.
Luvbugs!
:)
Verified Real VS Not - How trusting are you in non-verified accounts? - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]Look around the site and you will see there are a lot of verified single males. As a single male you just have know the secret swingers hand shake and demonstrate it correctly to one of the 69 ordained lodge guardians on the winter solstice while reciting the secret dirty limerick version of "My Creed" by Edgar Albert Guest. [/quote]
Fact is, I've asked to be verified by sending the picture with Swingular written on it. Last time was five years ago. Both times I sent the picture there was no reply and no verification. Both times the "administrator" pointed to the verification page. I remain on the site because occasionally I find a couple near me has posted and I can contact them.
New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - I am curious to know how many people in Utah would like to have a swingers club somewhere in the Salt Lake City area?
So, please respond to the following questions:
1. Would you attend a swingers club in Salt Lake?
2. If so, how often would you attend?
3. What types of things would you like to see at the club? I.e., play rooms, dance floor, activities, etc.
4. What types of things have you seen at other clubs that you liked/disliked?
5. What do you feel would be a fair entrance fee?
Your response to these questions would be greatly appreciated and if there is enough interest could result in Utah finally getting a place opened just for those of us in the Lifestyle.
Thanks to everyone in advance for their responses. While I am aware Utah is a unique environment and will have some challenges, it would be great to have a place where we can go and be open with who we are and find others with the same mentality.
Thanks all!
Caliana
Combining Lifestyle & Non-Lifestyle Friends - - We have both Swinger and non-swinger friends. We have found a few "swinger" friends that we would be "friends" with if we were not in the lifestyle. We have tried to invite these friends to parties that we have SPECIFICALLY specified as "VANILLA". Almost every time we have had our "swinger" friends cross boundaries which makes our "non-swinger" friends (who have non idea about our "lifestyle") go "WTF?!?!?!?!?!?". It has happened numerous times so it's no one in particular. Has ANYONE has success in blending swingers into their vanilla lifestyle? Just askin......
"Black Ring" or other Lifestyle insignia? - - We used to go to lifestyle "conventions" back in the day. A thousand or so couples taking over a hotel. Theme dances, seminars, an expo hall with anything and everything sexual. You were given wristbands when you registered to get into all the venues. It usually took about 4 or 5 hours for people (vanillas) at nearby hotels and such to hear about what was going on start looking for who was wearing those telltale wristbands. It would get so bad people (swingers) would just take them off or try to hide them under watches and jewelry. Can't imagine something like this wouldn't fairly quickly (especially with the internet) turn out the same or worse and for some reason not too many people seem to want to be identified as swingers when they're at the grocery store or out to eat with their families or in ANY public place. Imagine that![em]Emo_67[/em]
Married & single? - single minded affrairs? -
It is a double standard. We have meet several couples that would never consider a cheating guy, but would a cheating woman. I think some people ignore the double standard because of the Law of scarcity.
Married/relationship bound men that are exploring without their spouse are no different from Single men has been our experience.
If anyone Male or Female is having a sexual or emotional relationship without their primary partner's knowledge then they are cheating. It's not a matter of the quality or quantity or even if the partner had suspicions or not. It's a matter of trust which they are breaking by having a relationship that their partner would not approve of.
And yes the Law of Scarcity is accepted by many swingers in regard to a female wanting to explore.....including us.
How has swinging made your marriage better? - - Communication (REAL communication) is the key but still it's not enough if someone really wants to stray or outright leave. There's been an interesting discussion on another swing site we're on about some of this topic and an old timer on there (who's now divorced) brought up something that we found interesting and that seems to be fairly ubiquitous in the lifestyle. It turns out that most women who have been in the lifestyle for a decent length of time have at one time or another (multiple times for Ms. Evil and some of the ladies we've known for some time) been told by a play partner (more often by a single male or even more often a vanilla guy...lot's of swingers seem to get a thrill out of vanilla hunting I guess) that if they were THEIR partner they would NEVER share them with another man. Think about that for a minute. With the way most women are raised and the messages society pounds into their heads about love, romance, fidelity, etc., how powerful are those words are. In fact let's take a little poll. Are there any women who've been in the lifestyle for, say, at least 5 years and play fairly frequently who have never had a guy tell them or insinuate that? Just curious.
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