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Monday, must be time for a new poll. - The Dad Bod - Maybe. But since the 'dad bod' thing seems to be trending on the internet right now I thought I'd see what female swingers thought about it. And yes, women, in general look for different things in a partner than men often do but in swinging, since they're not looking for fidelity or someone who is a good provider or a good father perhaps they would indeed be more critical of physical failings (more like men?) than they would in the vanilla world.
We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - It's unfortunate that you've had this happen to you, and apparently twice with the same couple, no less?
While unfortunate, it's also par for the course. Perhaps one of the most cliche and over-used phrases we see appear on profiles is "drama free", and we always take that with a grain of salt.
The truth is there is no such thing as 100% drama or issue-free couples.
Even if they insist on their drama-free status, we also realize that we are all human, and these things are bound to happen from time to time.
The key is not to find the ideal couple but to find the couple that deals with life (swinging) ideally. Find couples that are efficient and adept at dealing with issues between themselves, and are not so selfish to let things get as far as the bedroom before unresolved issues they have in regards to swinging arise during play.
We've had a few situations like that...and they've always been deal-breakers for us. We simply don't have fun if we have to work that hard at making something happen.
However, as a consequence, we've become very successful at filtering and weeding out those couples from the get-go. It's really not that challenging, because there is so much that you can read from people simply by observing them, their body language, how they interact with each other, how they compose themselves while you talk about a potential play dates with you, etc.
Even if they're not inclined to be verbally honest up front with you two in a direct fashion, it's typically obvious in their behavior what their true expectations are.
Asking direct questions about expectations has been mentioned and is always an excellent idea. We've found little things along the way that we take for granted as being non-issues for us are actually huge issues for other couples.
Preferences for foreplay, whether or not kissing is allowed, and if so...kissing with tongue. What about oral, is that acceptable? You see, for us they are acceptable, but we must establish that they are with other couples.
We've also found that more drama tends to be centered around the males in couples (sorry fellas).
I'm not stereotyping here, but this has been our experience. We've had more than our fair share of guys that are ok with everything from girl on girl play, to my girl on him play, to both girls on him play, but once his gal plays one on one with another male besides him....oh Lord, the drama starts!
Swinging has been one of the funnest decisions we've made, cuz we've made it that way, and we elect to avoid the drama at all costs, and that keeps things light and fresh. We know for every couple or bad experience we come across, there are 10 more good ones just around the corner. :)
~J~
YOLO Cruise April 26 2009 - swingers cruise - Yes we agree as well. All winners of the cruise should offer up a little "boozin for our cruizin"!
or at least offer up a lap dance or two...or three.
D&B
Swinging with Vanillas - Any success stories? - I know this probably won't be a very popular point of view but I kind of have a problem with vanilla hunting. If you meet some vanillas and talk to them, hell tell them you are swingers or whatever, and they're interested and then you leave it there and they have time to go home and consider what you've told them and make a sober rational decision then great. Where the line becomes blurred to me is approaching vanillas in say a bar situation where there is plenty of alcohol or whatever and then sort of guiding (pushing?) them into a situation where they might not be thinking completely rationally. I think the majority of us probably approached swinging from the perspective of making a conscious decision to try it out or whatever before we were put in a situation where sexual play might happen. I just think it's only fair for others to have that same consideration "space", if you will, before they jump into something they might not be ready to handle. Swinging is great. We have an awesome little hobby that is DEFINITELY NOT for everyone, no matter how much we think it should be. The truth is very few people can actually handle the intense dynamics of swapping spouses. JMO
Am I hot or not.... - - PSPLAYDATE criticizes single males saying that they are not swingers and that they do not belong on this site...
but PSPLAYDATE also says:
"...many of the couples here enjoy hooking up with SMs (we are guilty of that multiple times ourselves)."
So, you like to have your cake and eat it too? That's a little hypocritical.
Edit: Sorry for rehashing this subject! I didn't realize this was such an old thread when I replied.
what do guys think of when they masterbate? - - I have to admit that the thought of my wife being fucked by another man is sometimes he topic of maserbatory fantasy. More often it's fantasy of both of us with either another couple or another single female. Sometime the fantasies are of people we haven't met, fictional characters, or swingers we've been with. I think the most erotic are fantasies of vanila singles or couples we'd like to hook up with. When I was younger I sometimes masterbated to fantasies of fucking the Bishop's wife, who was a complete and total hottie.
Mr. Sexperimentors
Swingers clubs in Amsterdam - - I was there and invited myself to a 1 person orgy. Had a lot of fun but didn't met anyone special.
What to wear to a swingers party??? - - my wife tries to find stuff that looks sexy and nice and is easy on and off or cofortable rolling around in, sexy shoes are always easy because you dont' need to stand much.
I wear usually a nice shirt and slacks.
OUCH - Anyone caught swinging bu family or friends? - Ran into Ms. Evil's cousin a few years ago. Were invited to an annual bbq non-swing party by a couple who WERE swingers but they said even though all vanilla sometimes the party could got quite steamy. Hung out, drank a lot and flirted with all the cute vanillas and our hosts. Suddenly (while naked in the hottub) I saw Ms. Evil's cousin walk in. I quickly alerted her and tried to dress her quickly and sneak her around the side of the house but she was just drunk enough to think it would be hilarious to say hi to her cousin. Turns out the cousin was a FWB of the hosts since high school and frequently joined them for sex. Of course the host instantly wanted to play kissing cousins with Ms. Evil and her cousin but she had sobered up enough by then to not want to go there. Still see the cousin every so often and though nothing was ever mentioned we all know...LOL
Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - Send me a KIK. Urnewsecret
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