Marston Swingers in North_carolina

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Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - Dipshit Quixote wrote: Btw, to all of you who obviously missed me, my weekend was pretty good, thanks. I went to something called Playa Del Fuego... (look it up, if you like). Great event; they even allow people with IQs too low to measure -------------------------------------------------- That's why "The legend in his own mind", Mr Quixote showed up. Damn DJQ, get a life man. I have been reading your posts for awhile now. It is painfully obvious that you stir shit up because you have no social life man. GET OFF THE COUCH!!!!! You don't piss me off anymore. You make me pity you. You are sorry. No matter what you say now, I'm just gonna look and say, "tsk tsk." Do yourself a favor. Walk to the nearest sink, fill it with water, stick your head in it and inhale really deep. It'll take the pain away. Oh and quit trying to sound like you are this stud scholar we're all suppose to be impressed by, with your "witty" replies. Your obvious delusions of grandeur are seriously underminding your plans to impress us all. The self-implied education & culture coupled with your personality deficiencies make you a charity case. I don't wanna yell anymore, I wanna motivate you to get off your couch and go meet people in person. It might help the "Single Guy" thing as well. Sincerely, A Better Man

Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - Not finding that group. Do we need a special invite? Secret handshake?

KEY PARTY - - We 'get' and actually applaud the effort to find some way to avoid the often typical cliquey swing party but still have to wonder how feasible it might be in practice. The problem, as we see it, is that swinging is an atypical social construct in that it is driven almost entirely by superficial factors such as relative attractiveness (age, height, weight, body type, breast size, cock size, and any number of other physical characteristics). When we first started swinging, back around the time Cleopatra was busy inventing hookup culture and the term unicorn, we quickly discovered that swinging wasn't the sexual egalitarian utopia that many people believe it should be. Indeed, there was actually a broad, distinct caste system, if you will, that governed who hooked up with who and who was relegated to the sidelines at least in certain circles or situations. This might be best illustrated by one of our very early encounters with two couples at a swinger meet and greet back east. One of the couples was loudly expounding on their utter disgust with the concept that people in the lifestyle seem to be so "stuck-up" (their term) and were too concerned about "looks" and other superficial characteristics. They went on and on for probably close to an hour before they, I guess, ran out of steam and decided to leave. After they were gone, the other couple at the table laughed a little bit and gave us some fairly sage advice. They told us that we would likely meet three general kinds of swingers in the lifestyle. They said that the first couple was the "Hey, you're swingers and we're swingers so let's fuck!" kind of people and that on the opposite end of the spectrum were the extremely picky, "beautiful people" who spent more time "watching the door" at a swing function always looking for the BBD (bigger, better, deal) and who more often than not left without actually hooking-up/playing. They said that the relatively smaller group in between those two extremes were those who had a little more realistic attitude and who were, while still giving a good amount of weight to initial physical attraction, actually looking a little more FOR reasons to play rather than for reasons NOT to play. They told us to decide for ourselves what kind of swingers we wanted to be and go from there but to never fuck someone that we really didn't want to fuck. *shrug* As to your idea of making it more of a "speed swinging" type of party, I'm almost certain that there are at least a few people here on Swingular who have talked about, if not hosted, just such a party. It might be interesting if they or any of their guests chimed in as to how it turned out.

New to swingular!!!!! - - My husband and i are new swingular and i was just woundering if you fellow swingers can give some pointers on how to get people ot talk to you:q Any feed back would be great..

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

Hey all you "totally secure couples" - Just in case you got it wrong you have methods to recover your loss. - that was entertaining, but notice the host's conception of swingers. anyways... "I'll sue your ass!"

The Very Nicest Turndown - Tell US - We have had our share of turn downs, but most we have found people just don't respond. From the few that actually took the time to respond I can't remember anyone doing more than saying no thanks. We did save one response to a rejection letter we sent, the only one ever saved. She wrote an entire 1 page letter about how we should not judge books/people by the cover. It was quite a read. It was in response to one of our nicer rejecting letters where we politely pointed out we had no interest and suggested some swingers groups they might consider exploring (they were just started to explore the lifestyle). oh well.

BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - SPERMINT, I didn't uh... I couldn't uh... I wasn't uh.... WHAT???? -D-

Ugly people and swinging - - Thank you SHEKKI..for clarifying the why's of your forum posting. However...even as a "last straw" knee-jerk reaction to some pushy couple that you perceived being perhaps a little obnoxious and assertive (not to mention fat, old and ugly), your approach was...well...reproachable. Bringing an otherwise personal issue to the public eye, and targeting just one demographic group of swingers based on a narrow set of physical attributes: Totally uncool dude! In actuality, if it was indeed pushiness that tossed that proverbial last straw, and not the fact they were ugly...it was more of a personality turn-off than a physical one, don't ya think? ~J~

Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - Hello! Very interested in meeting people and establishing a trusted circle of friends. Professional, educated, and fun ;)