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That little nudge many of us need - - [quote=PARTYINLV]We think honesty is the best way to be. If she found out about the meeting without her knowledge, your tryst into the lifestyle may be over. Plus, she might feel the pressure to play at some point anyway. Also, she will always wonder if the next meeting is arranged without her knowledge. Evildoers is correct in meeting with zero chance of playtime. Take their advice. She will feel more relaxed and could enjoy herself with the pressure off. We will take it a step further: Step 1: Set up a date with ZERO playtime opportunity and let the other couple know that. Do something fun (a hike, Topgolf, etc) and get to know them. At the conclusion of the date, let them know that if they do not receive a message from YOU within 24 hours, you don't feel you are a match. Step 2: If you send a message to meet again, let them know your intent and your boundaries. For example, (kissing ok), (fondling ok), (bi kissing ok), (same room, separate room, either room ok), (nudity ok or not). But, speak honestly with each other about this. It's not nice to lead people on after you have committed. At the conclusion of the date, let them know that if they do not receive a message from YOU within 24 hours, you are not ready to go further. Step 3: If you send a message to meet again, let them know what is acceptable. For example (full swap or soft swap), (same room, separate rooms or either ok), (kissing or no kissing), (bi play) etc. Again, you will have to be honest with yourselves if you can do this. By a third date, the other couple has invested a lot of time in you. So, be nice and don't lead them on. Enjoy the playtime. Save enough time for the afterglow sex with them relaxing, chatting, and laughing. By this point, you may have found a couple that you can see multiple times. Doing vanilla activities with them might be a bonus. They may even introduce you to their lifestyle friends too. The other option is attending a house party where play is not expected. You will be able to speak to several couple and perhaps, use the process above. Or you can play that night. When we entered the lifestyle, we never had that couple who could mentor us. After we considered ourselves as no longer newbies, we became the newbie "whisperers" to offer what we never had. However, we've gotten away from newbies since our circle is with experienced swingers now. But with covid, we would date newbies again.[/quote] Sounds like an excellent plan to avoid those one and done awkward meet ups👍

Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - The wife loves DP might have to try the DVP thing!!!!

Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - John Scorpion Joyce Virgo

The let down. - - Well POET_RAYL maybe the reason you have problems is most of your pics are from 2001! And you had one from 2006. You have been on here since 2005 and in 6 years no comments. Makes you think huh? And on your profile you demand couple have a pic on thier public profile. Ever thought maybe some people didn't want to post thier face pics for the world to see? We have jobs and don't want just lookers seeing our pics. If your swingers like us that's one thing I can't speak for everyone but we just didn't want anyone to see our faces on a swingers site. Anyone thats been on this site for more then 2 years without a comment gives us a red flag. As for answering the question why do so many couples flake? It's because with most couples it's just the man posting and his wife has no clue he is posting her pics.

Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - [quote=MORKANDMINDY]I think the fact that the site hasn't offered lifetime membership specials for so long has really impacted people's ability to connect with newer couples. [/quote] Contrare, Mr. Mork. Last month, our lifetime membership was $35. just sayin...

What is wrong with being a bi male? - - I've always had trouble with the fact that as swingers we are supposed to be open minded and different from vanilla people but when it comes to bi men we are so homophobic, as a group. It's OK, more than OK for a woman to be bi but men have been shunned as bi, in the lifestyle for as long as I can remember and we've been in the lifestyle for about 18 years now. At a hotel after party in a room there were 8 of us and one person made a comment about one time he was doing a woman who wanted him to pull out and cum on her chest. When the time came he cummed at her chest and caught her husband on the stomach. This brought about several comments from the other men in the room none positive and one said that would do him in for the night... Shit happens when there are a bunch of people doing what feels good. What's the problem. As far as bi men go it has long been a stigma that they could or were more prone to disease than a guy who is not bi. Women, even bi women have stayed away from bi men because they think one has a better than average chance of catching some dred STD. While bi and gay men are in the forefront of the HIV thing bi men, in the lifestyle are, I would think, are quite a bit more careful about using protection and who they play with. From my comments some might think that I'm bi, bi curious, or other unknown by me phrase. I am basically straight but definitely not homophobic. Someone said here that when you are in a pile it doesn't matter who is giving head if it feels good....regardless of what sex they are. I've used this example many times on various sites we have been on. Men who are bi do not want to cross the line and try to turn straight guys. Most are quite respectful for your preferences. Now all we have to do is get the notion that they are somehow dangerous, i.e., STD wise and that they want to turn straight guys. Might be some but I've met a number of straight guys who we find are not that arrow straight when you get to know them. They'll tell you when they find out that you are friends regardless of their preferences. I think that through sites like these that bi men are becoming much less a thing to be shunned or afraid of. Remember that bi women are as much a threat to your manhood and as much a danger about STD's as bi men. Remember we are supposed to be OPEN MINDED in the lifestyle.

YOLO Cruise April 26 2009 - swingers cruise - We just came back from the pscruise09, and didn't expect to be cruising again so soon, but we couldn't pass this up. We were tired of wearing wristbands! Looking forward to meeting you all, Lisa and Rich

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - And we all have our own opinion,, AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE THAT lol.. Alton

Swing Color Bands - Swing Color Bands - [quote=MR_TRIXIEE][quote=MASSMN]I agree the wristbands are a good idea but Having so many colors is ridiculous and confusing as this site is proving. What is everyone going to have to carry a cheat card in their pockets to remind them of what colors what. Why not stay to the basic's: One color which just signifies you are swingers and can be worn outside the club these also can have a universal Logo of choice. Have Two clors which shows Female is BI, multicolored, and Third, tri-colored, which shows Both are Bi. That's One band with NO more then 3 colors which u can wear anywear and maybe meet new people u wouldn't have been able to do before. Again, keep it simple and less confusing. [/quote] I think the color chart is great... all you have to do is remember what your color is about and then when you run into someone that has a band on and you don't know what the color stands for you will be impaled to actually go up to that person and ask them what it stands for...[size=200] [color=#56121d"]this is what is called a great conversation starter...[/color][/size] this is what we are trying to get across to people.. you don't need to remember all the colors just the number that is on the bracelet... Last night we sold over 47 of them at the meet and greet so people are going to be wearing this out there so be looking for them!!! If you didn't get yours last night contact us and we will get the ball rolling to get you one.... Mr Trixiee[/quote] Exactly! What a great ice breaker. I'm hoping they work when we're out and about.

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