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Respect...Needed? or just forgotten. - - The various points that have been made are well taken.
We have been approached by people who are rude or crass. Typically it is a single male, often married pretending to be single or the de facto single male -- half of a vanilla couple pretending to be a swinging couple.
I have several observations:
This single male is far more likely to be a trial member.
They have little or no real knowledge of swinging and it shows.
They don\'t expect to be invited to join the couple or single female they approach.
They simply find a cheap thrill in the crass sexaulity of the rude note they send.
(I suspect they type them with one hand.)
If given the oportunity (which their approach itself precludes) they would not play.
Don\'t confuse them with the polite & respectful single males that are a part of swinging.
We jokingly refer to them as hard-ons. They think because they once had a hard on -- they are qualified to swing. My FAVORITES are the ones that will \"let you watch\" or \"don\'t mind if you joins in\" as if somehow by their offer alone -- Belinda becomes theirs.
You will see them at the clubs. Somehow they come up with the courage to go to a swingers club that allows single males. They are the males that hide in a corner too afraid to approach anyone or they are the males that come into the room with attitude written all over them -- as if saying \"I paid my fees -- who do I get to fuck\".
If he is found out, the male half of the vanilla couple will stamp and stammer and claim that either he has his wife\'s permission or that she is cold and he is not getting any at home. Given their approach to sex. I have figured out, at least in part, why they are not getting any at home.
I was raised by a very southern, very polite, Daughters of the Confederacy -- mother. Thus I had to endure the suffering born of numerous catillions or formal dances. Everyone knew everyone at the dances. Everyone knew that everyone was there to dance. But you went through the rituals of an introduction and small talk -- prior to dancing. While this analogy ignores the aspects of friendship that are a part of swinging. I have found that the manners I learned at my mothers knee have served me well in swinging. (Don\'t ya know that would shock the hell out of her!)
We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - No drama here, drop us a line;)
~T&D~
Featured Couple - - We agree that the featured Members seem to be a VERY SMALL SELECT FEW who cycle in and out. But we do also believe it\'s nice to see who is sincere in this lifestyle. Because we believ if your willing to have your face posted upon a SWINGER SITE that pretty much says you still believe in the TRADITIONAL BELIEFS of the swingers, it\'s all about fun and if someone contacts you UNLESS they are totally freaks your gonna meet them and try and establish a link between you and then F^&K each others brains out.
OK SORRY we don\'t even believe that........................
Single male in this lifestyle.. - I have questions for couples and single females. - Heya Josh. These are all extremely well thought out responses. Take them to heart. I'd also like to add that quite a few couples opt to have the man from a friendly, familiar, and secure couple fill the role of the second man from time to time. Most of the people here have healthy, loving, and established lives with someone they trust deeply. The less in-roads for unstable elements, the better.
Don't take it personally. When I was active as part of a couple screening all the single men was a chore. There is an unfortunately well-deserved stigma tied to single men in this scene. Many figure that swingers are an easy lay and end up simply being a nuisance, or worse, a creep or downright menace. Disrespect and deception abound. That's not a personal knock as I don't know ya.
Be smart. Be respectful. Don't fret if you're not a hot commodity. It's the nature of the scene.
NYE Party - NYE A Magical Masquerade Update - [quote=DEVILSKITCHEN]What an amazing community. It is very generous of everyone to defend Dusk VIP for taking a risk on this venture.
I think the first post on this tread makes clear the basic business plan here was lacking strategy and execution.
Luckily for the community. this is an very competitive market with premium pay for play fun in a local McMansion as well as more intimate house parties with a more communal approach to the opportunity presented by such a vibrant and fun loving group.
We have no regrets for we checking out your first attempt at creating a nice club, and accepted your offer for a bounce back in good faith. We had no trouble finding many awesome contingency plans at the last minute.
Is it possible to run this venture like the other clubs in the valley that charge for drinks, and maybe even a cover for a special event? It would seem there is a demand for a swingers club in town.
We wish you all the best in your future endeavors![/quote]
There definitely a demand for swinger clubs. Just a difference between people wanting one and Utah lawmakers and council allowing one. :p
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - You know what's funny about DVP is if you are with the right couple, DVP is actually not that big of a deal as far as the comments about "not wanting to touch another guy's dick. When you are in this situation, you aren't thinking about the other guys dick. You are more focused on what she is experiencing. It's very hot to see a woman in total sexual bliss while she is stuffed full with two cocks. Although, you have to be somewhat selective and don't try it with two monster cocks if she isn't used to it. That can be more uncomfortable for her than fun. DVP is very hot if you take your time, get her ready for it, lots of foreplay etc.. And for the guys with this macho, homophobic hangup, c'mon already, you know more than anyone if you are gay or not. If you're not, you should be comfortable. I think the guys that have homosexual tendencies are the most hung up about getting labeled homosexual just because they touched another guys dick. If my wife is having fun and getting off on the situation, I don't care what I'm touching. I'm all about pleasing her..
Do your friends and family know about your lifestyle? - - Well... does our families know?
12 years ago Kelly and I went to our first swingers party. I was nervous and it was made worse by seeing my mothers boyfirend there with his wife. No my mother did not know he was married. Am I going to go tell on this asshole..... no. He told on me!! My mother came alll the way into to Salt Lake (which she has only done 3 times in the 13 years I have lived in Salt Lake) to give me a rash of shit over it and explained that was the reason her and my dad got a divorce (I assume he wanted to do it and she didn't). She said the Kelly and I were going to end up the same way. I of course told her it was a one time thing and we didn't plan on ever going to another party. I know how very small this world is, and it is very small, I like to think that I have kept it secret enough that the only people who knew were fellow swingers and the ones I have elected to tell.
Do my friends know?
Well I have a good friend who I have told yes.... but the operative word being GOOD friend... and her and her hubby have decided to give it a try. See if they like the extra spice. In a snese if I tell someone I end up promoting the lifestyle.... but it is very few that I have told.
Do co-workers know?
I say only the sexy guys at my job know.... and I mean the really sexy guys... with the brown eyes and brown hair and mustache and goatee and a dick that knows how to pleasure me.
How do you spot a Swinger..?! - tell tell signs of the lifestyle - Spotting a swinger on the outside is not easy. Then again, we are not looking for anyone on THE OUTSIDE. It's very easy to spot swingers at CLUB ELITE.. ;) We ALL are............
I'm a hater. Will you be a hater too? - Warning, the rats ass just ranted all over the floor! - Brent,
I have to disagree with you to a cetain degree. I have seen many couples gravitate to other couples. Also as a single male, I have even been blessed enough to find the occasional couple or single lady looking for it. The best thing to do is to keep a positive attitude and keep trying. Eventually something should come your way.
Instant,
I am sorry you guys are having such a hard time finding playmates. All I can say is that it is their loss. As others have told you before, this is largely a numbers game. If you are in an area without a large proportion of swingers then it will be harder for you. I did like the way you found your fun though. I would have loved to be in that bar on that night.
Swingers Rock Club - Live music, Dancing, and Sexy Friends - We'll be there if we can find a baby-sitter... It's John's Birthday Too...!!! PARTY...!!!
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