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Couple looking for wifeswapping, swinging, lifestyling and or org - - My wife and I would like to fuck some people and/or have sex with them. We are experienced swingers but haven't had sexual intercourse with anyone else for a long long time. In fact, our swinger hymens have almost assuredly grown back and our genitalia is as tight and unused as that of a first semester freshman BYU coed (full disclaimer-there also may or may not be cobwebs present from disuse). If you like Pina Coladas and gettin' lost in the rain...if you're not into STD's and you have half a brain please HUU.
Alternatively we would like to orgybang a bunch of hot nasty slutty people. Costumes and/or real personalities are optional. We're not looking for one night stands. We're looking for 1 hour (maybe 30 minutes) stands.
We are dead ringers for Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan (if both of them went on a 3 month bender of drugs, alcohol and Fight Club-esque beatings). We don't expect you to be Ken and Barbie but we want you to at least be Skipper and Todd or maybe Chuckie and a Cabbage Patch Kid. If you don't know any of these references you're WAY too young for us and you should go fuck some really hot Beliebers while discussing the pros and cons of Call of Duty WWII. No offense.
We don't Kick or Instachat or Snapgram or Twit. In fact our cell phones only hold half a dozen contacts each, voice dial is spotty, and our virtual/digital assistant is Ask Jeeves' alcoholic second cousin from Plumpton, East Sussex, Nigel. So you'll have to contact us through email, smoke signals, or Miss Cleo. We prefer Miss Cleo. NO SNAIL MAIL! We're not old, irrelevant geezers!
Check out our profile and pics and if you don't experience severe projectile vomiting we might just be your next right swipe (No idea what that means but it sounded edgy and hip and not entirely 100% desperate).
THE (accept no substitutes) Evildoers
Couple in Sandy - could use some tips - - [quote=HUMMINGBIRD]Hell I didnt even know there was a fancy side to the bar at Applebee's[/quote]
That's where they hold the swinger's meet'n greets on Saturday nights (the dance floor is REALLY small so get there early--bogo appetizers to the first 50 swingers!)...and apparently, the annual convention for the Order of Fraternal Unique (Professional) Couples or, O-FUC!, as it's commonly known.
Pink flamingo - How many swingers have a pink flamingo in their front yard? - oohh. i like those!
Slow Dancing in SLC? - Any clubs for that? - [quote=EVILDOERS]Hmmmm complaining that Salt Lake (okay Sandy) is too far to drive. Yep, you're definitely a geezer. [em]Emo_67[/em] [/quote]LOL -- I think the point was that this Club 90 place MAY have music a bit toned down and MIGHT play a few slower song choices? So driving an hour and a half for something that might be available locally seems unnecessary? Given events, let me put it to you this way. This particular swinger enjoys her unicorns with their horns placed a tad further south as compared to male-dominated swingers such as yourself. So lets take that hour and a half and assign it an "Opportunity Cost" as if we're in a basic economics class. Instead of driving, that time could be spent on any of the following:
At an establishment of fine dining enjoying a romantic dinner. In a Blues/jazz bar chatting up a few local men, eventually swaying together on a tiny dance floor. Back at home, sunggling naked, sandwiched between two handsome men while Fogerty, Adele, Chili Peppers, and other music too tame for the younger crowd plays in the background. Relaxing with a couple glasses of wine, and a pile of blankets before the fire. Having the fire within sated. Waking the next morning, with no hangover, and remembering. Perma-grin hits. Still plenty of time and energy to make church by 10, and hit the gym by noon. Ah, yes, if this is your definition of geezer, I embrace it. Whole-heartedly, repeatedly, and with great zeal. :)
West Jordan Utah???? - - West Jor DEN of Eniquity. I have always wondered how many swingers I am seeing at Target and Walmart on Sundays.
Where are the Midwest Swingers? - - try C4P dot com. Predominantly midwesterners.
Swingers Party - Doesnt mean who ever is there is open to everyone elsa - We have backed way off of these parties as when the Haloween party was winding down. One guy that was to drunk came over pulled my wifes top down and tried to suck on her nipples. I moved him away from her and his wife just giggled and said "he loves boobs" That was enough for us to take a step back. To many get so drunk and blame that for their actions.
Poly ideas - Ethical non-monogamy...I like that label. - [quote=ERASEDPANTS]A few other "Poly Ideas" we have had...a beach resort for swingers called "Poly Shore". Jeans with special condom holders made exclusively for the lifestyle called "Poly Pockets". A full time art school for swingers run by "Leave it to Beaver's" Tony Dow,called "Poly Wally Doodle all the Day" . The high end grocery store/basketball arena for lifestylers called "Poly Pavilions". But it turns out it was just a slightly nicer "Poly Vons" grocery store/basketball arena. And lastly a white supremisist lifestyle dating site called "Poly want a Cracker".[/quote] So if you try poly and it doesn't work out, do you call it a Poly-Gone?
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - We tend to focus more on an overall package deal, rather than choosing to focus on one parameter specifically, such as age. Personality and intellectual attraction combined with levels of physical attraction sometimes make the issue of age a moot point.
Black and white generalizations are something we prefer to avoid when referring to those we encounter in the lifestyle, i.e., younger ones are always too immature or clueless, older ones have no stamina, etc.
Diversity within the swinger community is too great to even attempt such broad categorizations. Besides, what potential fun/friends are we missing out on because of that?
Honestly, we have found younger couples to far exceed their years in relative wisdom, often surpassing those that are well above their age group. Inversely, my wife and I will outlast most party goers ten years our junior.
Alright...'nuff rambling. :)
~J~
PICTURE SURFERS HANG A 180 LOL - - Here is one for ya......Has every one been seeing those ads , on swinger sites mind you, that say "We are looking for friends MAYBE more". Did they forget what site they were on. This isn't the place to be "wishy washy". If your here you need to be serious and not waisting serious swingers time. If your saying MAYBE you should take a little more time and be very sure that this is for you. Does anyone agree?
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