Mesilla Park Swingers in New_mexico

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ksl - did you watch?? - Ok this is the Mrs. now - up until a post on KSL I didn't care to say anyting but someone's post pissed me off - they made it seem as if all the men were making the choice and us little women just went along with everything. Sorry I get pissed when people try to tell me that women mean nothing in this world... Okay enough ranting I am posting the comment that bugged me and then mine and 1 others. This is on the KSL website about the story they ran on supposed swingers lol ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ReplyAn observation by Steve L. @ 10:10am - Tue May 9th, 2006 Looking at the comments, it seems that the men accept it and the women do not. Reply(No Subject) by Kimberlie R. @ 11:12am - Tue May 9th, 2006 As a woman participating in this lifestyle, I figured I would add my .02. I was the one who brought it up not him. We started talking about it and decided it was something we wanted to try, it was not a decision made over night - we talked about it for quite awhile. This is not something you hear about that often (depending on where you grow up. People keep quiet about it because of people like you, who sit here and have the nerve to condemn us for a choice we make as adults and as husband and wife. We are not hurting anyone, we don't involve our families or kids. We are not trying to recruit anyone into what we are doing, if someone joins because they know we do it it's their choice as ADULTS. Every person who sits here and says its "nasty", "perverted", or "that the people who do this are more apt to be predators" have no idea what you are talking about. How dare you condemn someone for a choice they make as ADULTS. Last time I checked we still lived in America not Iraq and had the freedom of choice. You people are just like all the other people in other centuries who condemn someone for something you don't understand. You go to a church who's founder was teaching plural marraiges at one point, look what happened to him, all because the rest of the world didn't believe or understand what he did. Get a life people, quit condemning people for something they have the right to choose to do. ReplyBy the way by Glen T. @ 11:07am - Tue May 9th, 2006 Most Women in this lifestyle or Bi, or bi curious and like the option of having the best of both worlds. At least we don't have to hind in our closets or behind closed doors on the internet surfing for porn

Cypress Cove Nudist Resort & Spa - Information - I can't believe there are swingers there. I don't know a whole lot about the place, but it has always had the reputation of being a place where families can be nude. It is an older crowd according to people I've known that worked there. Not implying families and more mature people don't have sex, but when I think Cypress Cove, I think ordinary people, going about their everyday lives, who just happen to be naked.

Wishbones - - Is anyone else aware of this? In the Myrtle Beach, SC area people that are in the lifestyle are wearing wishbone necklaces and wishbone jewelry to distinguish themselves as people in the lifestyle. I'd like to see this phenomonon spread. The gay and lesbian communities have their symbols to distinguish themselves without having to announce to the world that they are gay/lesbian. With most people's desire for discretion within the lifestyle, an outward symbol would not only save alot of question, but could potentially save some embarrassment as well. When people ask me what mine means, I try to answer according to how the question was asked. If someone asks me pointedly what it means I tell them "Good Luck", which is true. If someone asks me about it that has that "Does that mean what I think it means?" look, I tell them it's a swinger's symbol. LOL The following quote is from the profile of the couple that started the wishbone thing in SC....."For as long as the swinging lifestyle has been around, there has not been a symbol to associate swingers with. Other alternative lifestyles have developed a symbol that represents them; the gay and lesbian community has the rainbow, the BDSM have their converted ying yang symbol; now the swingers have the wishbone. The wishbone represents many aspects of the swinging lifestyle. The closed end represents two halves coming together as one. For a swinger knows, it takes much trust and compromise to make the lifestyle work. The open end represents the open-mindedness and open sexuality of the lifestyle. And, let's face it, the entire wishbone reminds us that we live a lifestyle that many people only wish for. To the ordinary person, the wishbone is just a typical piece of jewelry. But, to those in the lifestyle, the wishbone identifies you as someone in the lifestyle." In this area, people are fairly familiar with the wishbone as a lifestyle symbol and we can immediately identify couples or singles within the lifestyle. My primary profile pic shows me wearing my wishbone necklace. I'd like to see this symbol adopted as a standard for all people within the lifestyle...Any thoughts?

Smoking preferences? a deal breaker or not? - and what is social smoking? - [quote=ABCCOUPLE]It used to bother my wife and I a lot. But reality police folks, there are a great number of swingers that smoke. Count yourself as the luck minority that do not smoke. That in mind, french kissing a freshly smoked mouth is not the best experience in the world, however, there are many other things to do then French Kiss. Usually her nipples don't taste like smoke ;), nor do the other interesting features of their body, like the neck, breasts, pussy, toes (for you freaks). Look, there are smokers that need to clean up on the hygiene, but not all smokers turn us off. Some you can barely tell, while others you wonder if they use any type of filtration with their cigs. One small word of advice to those we see at habits. If you do take a drag outside on the patio, make sure and chew some gum, hit the bathroom, etc, before sticking your tongue down anyones throat. I think the initial 5 to 10 minutes is the worst part. Some also are careful to not get it on their clothing etc, and that helps as well. Anyway, like I said, we like smokers in some cases. Morgan and Naughty are pretty careful, in fact I was surprised to even see them smoking the first time. I also think we non-smokers should be a little more sensitive as well. Morgan is right, we have no idea what path they've trod, and what is possible for some to get over is not automatically the same for everyone else.[/quote] Only Morgan and Naughty are careful? OMG YOU THINK I AM SMELLY!!!!! :`o Hold on, I have a gallon of perfume here somewhere........ :D

Swingers Rock Club - Live music, Dancing, and Sexy Friends - If we were closer we'd be there.....the lifestyle seems to be sadly lacking people that like the rock and roll.....

Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - Semper Fi to all my fellow Devil Dogs out there past and present and for all the ones still kickin in the sand pile be safe take care and COME HOME

Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - [quote=BENT]Lucky you... wish we could have that again. BTW, the Zebra Lounge is NOT even close to a poly relationship and the outcome could happen to ANY lifestyle couple![/quote] Yes, I agree with you on that one! An unstable marriage or partnership could self destruct if the people involved are not honest and open about their true feelings, needs, and motivation as it comes to any form of Non monogamy.

Why make it so HARD? - pic posting - Last weekends party had the idea of a profile party being held where we all would pose for pics with each other, faces protected for those wanting so. Someone brought up the idea that they had signed a morality clause and if they were ever found on a swingers site they would be terminated from their job. They said the company actually has people surfing the various sites looking for employees with pics. I bring this up to defend those that do not want to post pics. However, pics are a must before we meet anyone so there should be no problem in sending a pic to a private e-mail address.

A Single Male's Guide To Successful Swinging - Geared Toward Swinging At A Club - [url=http://docs.google.com/View?id=ddk7w7c2_2dhmjzgpd]Article Here...Clicky Clicky! ;)[/url] [align=center][b]A Single Male's Guide To Successful Swinging[/b] [i]Written by an experienced full-swap couple who prefer MFM[/i][/align] When at the swing club: [b]1. Don't be a wall-flower[/b] Guys who sit in the corner, or even in the middle of the action but by themselves, and wait for the conversation to come to them rarely have conversations, let alone sex. It's true, you don't want to be too aggressive or overly-imposing, but total shyness is unattractive to both the female and her husband/partner. The best thing to do is simply join groups or make conversation. So how do you do this without feeling like you're awkwardly waiting to join a conversation? Glad you asked. There are several great places in the swing club that conversation will flow and come naturally and you will not feel like you are imposing on a conversation in progress. Among these are the bar, the swimming pool, the hot tub(s), the smoking room, and the outdoor fire pit, if there happens to be one with a fire going that night. These places are great because conversation is secondary to another activity. You won't feel like you are trying to impose yourself on a conversation with strangers and they won't feel like you are imposing. People go to the bar to drink and engage in conversation. People go to the hot tub to soak and engage in conversation. People go to the pool to swim or play water-volleyball and engage in conversation. People go to the smoking lounge to smoke and engage in conversation. People go to the fire pit to get warm, roast marshmallows and engage in conversation. Are you seeing a pattern here? There is always a primary reason to be at these places where people like light conversation to augment what is going on. If you simply place yourself in these places and say "Hi", a couple, single lady, or group is very likely to strike up conversation with you. Once you take this simple step, you are literally at least 100 times more likely to play than if you keep to yourself or even sit in a high traffic area hoping someone will approach you. There is no fear of rejection because you are not asking for sex, you are engaging in conversation that should come quite naturally. The hot tub and smoking area are particularly great because people are usually facing each other in a smaller area, and no one wants to sit in awkward silence. Even if you don't smoke it may be well worth your while to sit in the smoking room and enjoy a drink or soda. No one will care that you are not smoking and, if someone does point out the fact that you are not smoking or asks you why you are in the smoker's lounge you simply say, "The smoking area is usually where you find the best conversation!" That simple phrase will spark even more great conversation, get a few laughs, prompt others to voice agreement, and makes a great ice breaker. [b]2. Be yourself and if that doesn't work, be yourself![/b] You are not going to fuck everyone who strikes up a conversation with you. In fact, you will most likely only play with a very small minority of the women and couples you meet. (Don't be alarmed by this, it's the same for couples and even single ladies.) So if you meet a couple or woman you want to play with and it doesn't go there, don't worry; it's not a failure. Anytime you comfortably engage in conversation it's a success. It's a numbers game: You talk to enough people and eventually you will get laid. (You are in a swingers' club after all!) Some people will not play with you on a first meet, but may play with you at a later date or time. Some couples will want to talk about you together before they invite you into their sex life. Some people will never swing with you. That's okay too. When all else fails, continue to be yourself. The vast majority of genuine swingers are VERY REAL people and they will spot a fake a mile away. And you don't need to worry about impressing the pseudo-swingers because they were never really going to fuck you (or anyone else) anyway. There's one more very important reason to be yourself: The sex will often (almost always) reflect the situation. If you or the couple/single lady are putting on uneasy airs or are feeling awkward or uncomfortable because of a front the sex will often be uneasy, awkward, and uncomfortable. While it may seem to a single guy that any sex is good sex at first, once you become experienced you will see that quality trumps quantity every time. In fact, quality leads to quantity! If the experience is comfortable and good for all involved the couple may ask you back to play again, will definitely talk you up to their friends, and the more good experiences you have the more your confidence will grow! This all all results in more play in the long-term for you! [b]3. Don't go to the club with the expectation of getting laid[/b] This may sound contradictory or funny, but it is one of the most important things you can do to guarantee your success and it will ensure your night is not wasted when you don't get laid. For the single male new to the lifestyle this could be the majority of the time at first. If you are trying too hard, or are too tied to the outcome you will put pressure on yourself and you will say and do all the wrong things. This is indeed a LIFESTYLE. For many couples it's not just about fucking. Of course it's definitely about fucking, but not JUST fucking. There is far more going on here than that. This is about freedom, trust, friendship, and there are a myriad of reasons couples are involved in this thing that you can never understand unless you have been a part of a loving swing partnership. While you are ultimately at the club for sex, if you don't enjoy other aspects of "the lifestyle" you are in the wrong place. If you don't enjoy more about this thing than just "getting laid", then you are just not a swinger. Save yourself some money and go to a singles bar. You will pay more for alcohol than you will at the BYOB swing clubs, but you won't be paying 50 to 100 dollars or more for the simple privilege of walking through the door. [b]4. Don't be "That Guy"[/b] You know who he is. If you have ever been to a swing club you have probably seen him. Depending on the club you are at you may have seen him hundreds, or even thousands of times. He's the guy who follows or even chases women around the club, makes cheesy come-ons, is way too aggressive, and usually makes a bee-line for a woman the moment her partner goes to the restroom or disappears from sight. In short, don't be an aggressive asshole. At the larger clubs these morons can run in packs of five, ten or more. Most couples are not looking for an asshole, so don't be one. And if you still think you need to be overly-aggressive to score, consider this: If a couple is willing to swing with an aggressive prick they have plenty of men to choose from. You will be one of many aggressive jerks competing for the attention of one or two couples (at best) while the rest of the couples that may be looking for a single guy will be choosing from a few single men who know and practice the secrets you are learning right now. In short: The vast majority of single men never get laid at swing clubs because they are either too shy or too aggressive. If you are going to be the jerk who chases women around the club you are going to end up jerking off with ten other men while you watch some exhibitionist couple have sex. If that's what you are there for great! If not, save yourself some money and rent a porn. [b]5. Don't make "Jr. High School" sexual jokes or come-ons[/b] It's just a turn-off. If the couple or single female goes there, and this seems to be what they want, then fine. But if you go there first you will almost guarantee that you won't be playing that night. An example of this is saying something like, "I've got some sausage for you, baby!" when she says she's hungry. Witty and subtle sexual innuendo can be great if it's your real personality and you are getting a sexual vibe from the couple. Picking up on flirtatious cues and reciprocating is awesome. Even steering the conversation toward the sexual at the right time is something that can increase your chances of success. These subtle skills and ability to read people will come naturally, if you are not already adept, as you gain more experience in the lifestyle and your confidence grows. It's like driving a car. You probably do things and react to situations naturally that you had to nervously think about when you first got your learner's permit. If you are not adept at picking up on cues don't worry, that skill will come! It's better not to try to force things and miss a few cues than to kill your chances with a lame joke or cheesy come-on. On several occasions when we have been interested in a single guy who is comfortably engaging in conversation but missing our cues we have simply pulled him aside and asked him if he would like to join us in a threesome. Not every couple will do this but it does happen, and more often than you think! If you are feeling like a newbie but still want to practice the skill of picking up cues and making appropriate jokes so as not to miss opportunities you probably have the following question: How do you tell if you are being witty or making a lame come-on? Fortunately, the answer is simple! If it the conversation feels natural you are probably being witty. If you find yourself looking for an opportunity to say something sexual or are trying to force it you will probably come off poorly. The best rule of thumb is this: If it's something that might come out of a horny eighth-grader's mouth it's probably best not to say it. [b]6. Don't be "handsy"[/b] Grabbing her tits, feeling on her leg, or being overtly physical with her is unwelcome, even if she is flirting with you and especially if you haven't been invited to do so by her and checked things with her partner. Flirting is an invitation to flirt back, not to caress her breasts, rub your penis against her, or touch her legs. There are only two universal, stead-fast rules throughout the lifestyle: 1. Ask before you touch. 2. No means NO! (In fact, any response other than yes means NO!) We actually rejected a good-looking, fun-loving single male once because he was too hands-on without permission from either of us. By the time he got around to asking the male half if we were open for play in an appropriate manner, the damage was done. The male half was still willing to consider it in light of the poor guy's corrected demeanor, but the female half, who had actually been flirting with this single male at first, had decided she did not like him. Similar behavior with other females at the club that night resulted in the same fruitless-labor for him. We ended up playing with his better-behaved, more well-mannered friend, while he went home empty-handed. (Well, maybe not empty-handed, but suffice it to say whatever, he had in his hand was attached to his own body!) [b]7. Don't talk about your penis size unless you are asked. If you are asked, DON'T LIE![/b] Talking about the size of your "manhood" without being asked may have the same result as making lame sexual come-ons. (If you don't know what lame sexual come-ons are, refer back to #5 on this list.) If a couple cared about the size of your penis they would ask you about it. If you are asked, telling someone your cock is bigger than it is will not get you laid; it will only get you embarrassed when the time comes for play. If it is a big enough issue that the couple feels it is a prerequisite to ask it will be a big enough issue that they will not play with you when the clothes come off. You also need to know that if a couple does ask about your penis size they may not be worried that you are too small; they may be making sure you are not too big. Contrary to locker-room opinion, bigger is not always better for all women. While some women want 8-10 inches or more, for others this will only mean discomfort. Women and couples are all seeking different things. Be honest and the right playmates will find you regardless of how big, small, or average your penis may be. If this sounds contrary to some advice you may have read on a popular swing site, don't worry. The swing club is not a web site and the same rules don't always apply. Couples who are willing to hook up off a personal add directly form a swinger site are usually looking to have a specific fantasy fulfilled, and many times the fantasy is for her to take a "huge penis". Couples who are actually in the swing club usually have a different reason for being there than fulfilling one particular fantasy. In fact, experienced swing couples have probably lived out most, if not all, of their fantasies already. They are usually not looking for a specific penis-size, but quality individuals to spend time with. So, while the swinger sites are right when they state that having a very large penis dramatically improves your chances online, this is not necessarily always the case at a swing club. It may surprise you to learn that most couples on the swing sites have never actually swung! So of course they are looking to fulfill their biggest fantasies first. This is why you see so many profiles looking for the single lady (for him) or the big cock (for her). The simple fact is most real swingers have fulfilled their fantasies and, while they may have their preferences, are not set a particular penis size. [b]8. Lay off the super-masculinity[/b] This is a swing club, not a singles bar. The vast majority of people in a swing club are middle-aged, secure, well-adjusted couples looking for a quality encounter to enhance their sex-lives and relationships as a whole. Contrast that to the twenty-something, insecure, shallow, bad-boy seekers at most singles bars and it's easy to see that different techniques are required to be successful in the lifestyle. The single women at a swing club are no exception to this rule. If she was looking for the type of guy you find at a singles bar she would be there. Cocky gets you laid at a singles bar. Genuine confidence is what works at a swing club. Enough said. [b]9. Don't try to be better than her husband (Unless you are acting out a cuckold fantasy)[/b] You are not there to be the best lover she has ever had, boost your own ego, or make her tell her friends how much better than her husband you are. You are there to serve the couple. Trying to outperform her husband or be the best she has ever had will only put undue pressure on you and may actually hurt your performance. Further, if this is your motive, you probably don't belong in a lifestyle that is based on freedom, the love between a couple, trust, and friendship. The last thing the lifestyle is about is false-bravado or adolescent, male competition. As mentioned before, some couples have what is called a cuckold fantasy and if you are asked to act that out with them this is a different story; but understand you are still just role playing! The simple fact is you can't be better than her husband no matter how hard you try. You may have a bigger cock, be more physically talented in bed, or even make her come harder than she has ever come before, but you will not be better than her husband no matter how physically good the sex is. How is this possible? It's like we said before: Couples are in this thing for a variety of reasons, but the vast majority of real swingers share a deep emotional commitment and trust most "regular" married couples will never understand. The sex they have with you is only one very small part of the experience. They are going to look back on it, talk about it, re-live it, and it will deepen their bond. There is so much love and emotional growth and trust involved in this that a simple, physical act can never compete with the overall picture or the love she feels for him. He is showing her an extraordinary amount of trust by bringing you in, especially if you have a bigger dick, are more attractive, in better physical shape, or have more stamina. He loves her immensely to be giving her this erotic adventure and to be turned on by it himself to boot! It's really impossible to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it, but suffice it to say that the love and growth that is spawned by a couple sharing their sex lives with another is beyond almost anything you could ever imagine. [b]10. When engaging a couple be respectful of the male[/b] Even though the female is usually in charge, he is the gate-keeper. It is common etiquette to clear things with the male if you want to play with his wife. While some couples are "anything goes" and will swing separately all night with implied permission to play with anyone they want, many only swing same room or will want to make sure both parties are comfortable with the choice of partner beforehand. Being respectful of him will go a long way with her and will help convince him that you are a genuine, good person and the best choice to show his wife/partner a good time. Even if she swings solo and there is no interaction with her man on your part, always be respectful of him and remember rule #9. [b]11. Always be respectful of the female and remember: It's ALWAYS about her pleasure![/b] Always be respectful of the female should go without saying, but we'll say it here anyway. We really shouldn't need to explain this. In fact, if you feel like it needs explaining run from the lifestyle as fast as you can for the benefit of yourself and everyone in the lifestyle! Once you understand this (and we're assuming you do) the other things you need to remember are what we call the Golden and Platinum Rules of Swinging. The Golden rule is: "It's always about her pleasure." The platinum rule states: "In the event that it's not about her pleasure, refer to the Golden Rule." It's that simple. If you can follow this philosophy, everything else we are talking about here will come naturally. You will have better experiences, gain a great reputation, and be invited back to play over, and over, and over again! [b]12. Find a club where there is not an over-abundance of single males[/b] The fewer single males, the better it is for you. How do you find these clubs? Here's the secret: 1. Find a large, metropolitan area with a few big-name swing clubs. 2. DO NOT go to these clubs! The big name clubs in the big city will be full of tourists and hundreds of single men looking to get into the the lifestyle. 3. Find a swing club with a small devoted following in a small town or outlying area 20-60 minutes from the well-known clubs in the big city. 4. Attend a party at the outlying club. What you will find is quality swingers without the mass throngs of single guys just looking to get laid. 5. Use the advice you are reading here. You may not live in an area where this is possible or that only has one swing club. Don't worry, the advice in this pamphlet will still work even in the big clubs or where there are a lot of single men. It just works faster when there is less competition. If you are genuinely interested in the lifestyle and not just getting laid, it may be well worth planning a vacation around this strategy and going somewhere with a lot of swing clubs large and small. Again, find the small clubs with devoted followings! Single guys usually go to the biggest clubs and the clubs in-town. 20-60 minutes of travel will eliminate 99% of the competition! We usually go to a small club (JJ Western Swing) in Pahrump, Nevada (which is near Las Vegas). Vegas is a swinger mecca with several big name clubs that draw national attention. The club we frequent is in the next county over and is about a 40 minute drive. There are very few single males there and the couples always outnumber them! This is never the case at a big name club that draws tourists. One night we attended a party at JJ's that had an abundance of couples, three single females, and not one single male. This is indeed rare and may never happen again but it did that night at a small club, near a swinger mecca, with a devoted following. One thing to be wary of when seeking these clubs: If a club guarantees you will get laid or that there will be more single ladies than single men you are not going to a swing club, you are going to a brothel. If you are just looking to get laid this may be the best option for you, but if you are genuinely interested in the lifestyle, you will not find it at the so-called "swing clubs" that make guarantees. [b]Extra Credit: Expect rejection[/b] No, you're not going to be brutally rejected like some awkward, high school dweeb asking the snobby-prom queen for date in front her friends. But you should expect some rejection. Why? Everyone gets rejected. Expect it and don't take it personal. Most people who are not looking to play with you will be very nice in turning you down. Single males will be turned down very often for a variety of reasons. Many couples are just not looking for a single male. The simple truth is, if you practice the previous 12 principles, you won't find yourself asking all that much anyway. Things will naturally progress and you will find yourself playing as the result of this natural progression. But if and when you do proposition a single lady or a couple, simply be prepared to hear the word, "No". We're not suggesting that you set yourself up for failure by any means. Just know that you will be turned down at times, and sometimes it will happen often. By expecting some rejection, knowing that it's a part of the lifestyle and that we ALL get rejected on occasion, you won't take it personal or let it interfere with your confidence; and confidence (not cockiness) is the key here. Rejection is not the end of the world. In fact it can be a good thing. When a couple lets you know they are not interested in playing with you, you can move on and not waste anyone's time or continue to enjoy some good conversation without the added expectation. No, rejection is not the end, it is simply a fresh start and a new beginning! Welcome to the lifestyle and may your experiences be as fulfilling as our have been!

Single guys and emails... - Answering all emails - except from single men who don't seem to read our profile - OK here's another post from another "Narwhal" (single male vs. "unicorn" single female) Valance I think you coined the moniker in another post and hope it sticks because it's comparative nature of desirability even with a 10 ft. pole. I really don't understand couples attempt for the exclussion of single males as not being"swingers" without also excluding the single females as swingers with statments like "stay out of the clubs, your not swingers"or" get a woman first" This is a lifestyle not an exclusive club and there are all types and interests. I admit there are many rude crude and impolite males out there but there are also the same in the couples and single women catagories too. What are my odds of finding a woman into and interested in similar sexual activities in a regular bar or dating site? I'm here mainly for the social aspect(and yes maybe sex!). My reasoning being if one can be open and honest about sex they can and usually are more honest about all other things and this has been a general experience with most of the people I have met. Yes there's sometimes drama .(90% of the time it's either insecurity or honesty related and you'll see me headed the other way..lol) but for the most part I have found all of you folks to be great to be around. I don't ever expect any replies to any email contcts I initiate or receive any initial contact,the good old days of letters of introduction and subsequent curtious replies are regretfuly long gone. The internet just makes it easier to ignore or not acknowledge someone. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone replied without fearing nasty rebukes for rejection issues? The single males are just looking for their needs and desires to be fulfilled just like all of you and don't deserve to be bashed for being single. Being rude, vulgar,overly aggressive or impolite is a different matter. All in all I say have fun and play nice no mater what your preferences are.