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Other Swinger sites in Utah - Anyone tell us of other sites? - [quote=mathlenoire]if someone were to make a new swingers site for Utah, what functionalities would you want in it ? [/quote]
free and no single males
fantasy football league free trying to get only swingers in leag - free autodraft fantasy football league - busa
KEY PARTY - - We 'get' and actually applaud the effort to find some way to avoid the often typical cliquey swing party but still have to wonder how feasible it might be in practice. The problem, as we see it, is that swinging is an atypical social construct in that it is driven almost entirely by superficial factors such as relative attractiveness (age, height, weight, body type, breast size, cock size, and any number of other physical characteristics).
When we first started swinging, back around the time Cleopatra was busy inventing hookup culture and the term unicorn, we quickly discovered that swinging wasn't the sexual egalitarian utopia that many people believe it should be. Indeed, there was actually a broad, distinct caste system, if you will, that governed who hooked up with who and who was relegated to the sidelines at least in certain circles or situations.
This might be best illustrated by one of our very early encounters with two couples at a swinger meet and greet back east. One of the couples was loudly expounding on their utter disgust with the concept that people in the lifestyle seem to be so "stuck-up" (their term) and were too concerned about "looks" and other superficial characteristics. They went on and on for probably close to an hour before they, I guess, ran out of steam and decided to leave.
After they were gone, the other couple at the table laughed a little bit and gave us some fairly sage advice. They told us that we would likely meet three general kinds of swingers in the lifestyle. They said that the first couple was the "Hey, you're swingers and we're swingers so let's fuck!" kind of people and that on the opposite end of the spectrum were the extremely picky, "beautiful people" who spent more time "watching the door" at a swing function always looking for the BBD (bigger, better, deal) and who more often than not left without actually hooking-up/playing.
They said that the relatively smaller group in between those two extremes were those who had a little more realistic attitude and who were, while still giving a good amount of weight to initial physical attraction, actually looking a little more FOR reasons to play rather than for reasons NOT to play. They told us to decide for ourselves what kind of swingers we wanted to be and go from there but to never fuck someone that we really didn't want to fuck. *shrug*
As to your idea of making it more of a "speed swinging" type of party, I'm almost certain that there are at least a few people here on Swingular who have talked about, if not hosted, just such a party. It might be interesting if they or any of their guests chimed in as to how it turned out.
Staying a couple in the lifestyle - - [quote=Sofutosuwappu]Our experience so far:
Religious > naturist > meet naturists/nudists who are swingers > soft swap > non-religious > full swap with couples same room > full swap separate room
Thoughts?[/quote]
Wow - what a great thread Sofutosuwappu! I just read some of these responses today. We're actually shocked! Evil - 60 couples . . . WOW! This has not been our experience at all.
While we are relatively new in the LS (since 2015) and we definitely have less LS play experience than most who have commented - our experience has been very different from that described . . . both in terms of our own evolution, but also in terms of what we have personally witnessed with friends.
ALL of the couples we have met in the LS are still together and in loving long-term relationships (as far as we know). Part of that may be dumb luck . . . part of it may be in the 'rules' we set for ourselves. We don't play separately . . . part of the fun is seeing your partner receive joy, pleasure, and excitement! We also specifically seek out people in Long Term relationships . . . and we have stayed away from profiles that intimated a DTF (down to fuck) kind of mind set. Not that there is anything wrong with that - we don't judge . . . just not something we have been interested in. We are attracted to beautiful relationships.
As for our own evolution . . we are STILL very religious, we jumped into the LS first . . . and THEN became nudists 🤣 We have made only a slight adjustment to our play style from our first adventure, and we have no interest in becoming 'non-religious' - we have found the LS to be a continuation or advancement of our understanding of the Judeo-Christian commandment to 'Love One Another'. Maybe we just haven't been in long enough . . . maybe we are self-deluded and are secretly living a life of cognitive dissonance . . . but so far so good.
One HUGE change is that when we first started in the LS . . . we thought we would want to be completely anonymous . . . going so far as to create 'fake names' etc. (I know . . . but we were still virgins . . . we feel SOME guilt about that . . . but we have subsequently repented!😉) We thought that the less people knew about us . . . the better. That changed 180 degrees within the first 6 months of our stumbling into this LS. Now . . . we only seek friends . . . who can be genuine friends . . . and if that progresses to any type of sexual exploration . . . all the better . . . but the friendship rules.
I'm sure we still have a lot to figure out in this regard - but we cherish our new and longer-term friendships . . . and honestly can't wait to spend time with these people. We are missing the summer live concert venues . . . and we can't wait till the next time we meet with friends. If that makes us 'poly-amorous' . . . then consider us 'guilty as charged' - We have somehow managed to maintain significant and deep friendships with just about everyone we've played with. We don't see that changing.
Hope that helps - thought it might as far as providing an alternate perspective. We love the authenticity and honesty shown to us by friends in the LS - we honestly have a hard time now maintaining vanilla relationships . . . whats the point??🤷♂️
Thank you all for the riveting discussion!
wife with other men - ahhhrrrggghhh - If you are going to be swingers the first thing you need to do is set boundaries for each other, if you are worried she is going to something you may not agree with sit down first and talk about what is ok and what is not!!! You can both enjoy this life style and not have to worry about jealously for example only play together. Go to parties, have another couple over or go to there place, etc. If that would be easier for you then you both are there and both in the fun. To be in this lifestyle you MUST TRUST YOUR SPOUSE!! you can't look at this as cheating because you are both committed to each other you are just sharing you sexual lives with other to fulfill a need no one in this lifestyle is looking for a new life long love just friends and fun. Make sure you talk to each other and express why you are worried set limits you both are comfortable with!!!!! If you don't think you can over come being jealous this life style is not for you!!!
Kink Community and Fetlife.com - What do you guys think? - It's a whole different world! We haven't found a whole lot of swingers in the BDSM community but have met some very awesome and open people. We found the "play parties" to be a bit awkward but enjoyed fetish night at area 51 and have also enjoyed some of the educational classes and munches. Overall we found its less about the sex and partying and more about community and education.
S#!% swingers say - - I don't know how many have seen the youtube video "Shit Swingers Say," but it's pretty funny.
I don't know if I can embed video on this forum, but I will try. If this doesn't work, just search youtube for "shit swingers say." You will laugh, or your money back!
What is up with Utah?! - Swingers in Utah and nowhere else? - Wooo Hoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't wait to have you guys back here again.
hugs and kisses
Swingers Party - Doesnt mean who ever is there is open to everyone elsa - Behavior like that is sad to see and worse to experience. I was groped by a man on the dance floor at a club not too long ago and worst of all was the fact that he almost needed to grab me to keep from falling over. We had seen him on the dance floor earlier, but had thought that the women he was fondling were friends of his. Apparently they weren't, but not one of them said anything to anyone about it, except for me. And that is the one of the reasons that I personally love that particular club so much is that he was quickly removed after we said something. Most clubs, if such things are occurring will quickly "take care" of the situation for you so that you can continue to have a good time, if it hasn't been completely ruined by the experience. Just wanted to share my experience.
-SG
How did you come up with your profile name? - - We decided to become swingers and well, we had just had a very wild weekend, fucking every possible moment. We decided that we were indeed very wild, and were going to put our marriage year, but he made a typo and got stuck with 2004. Not as cool as glazed donut face, but hey it works for us. Especially with our wild grizzly bear sex ;)
