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I’m defense of single males - Funny old geezers - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=PARTYINLV]We are in our sixth year on this site. We are also currently on three more sites, even after dropping two more. When we joined Swingular, we were taken aback from the negativity toward single guys. We did not see this this level of animosity on any other of the sites we are or were on.
Aside from the folks from Idaho and Wyoming (and very, very few nationwide), this site is predominately Utah based. I am not negatively judging Utah since a survey or research was never done, but we had to wonder if this hatred is a Utah thing. Or was it a few couples who made it seem normal to hate and everyone just jumped on the bandwagon? Human history has taught us that ostracizing is easier than accepting. Who knows? We certainly don't understand it.
Many couples correctly point out that single guys are not [b]"swingers"[/b] since they don't swap. But, we believe that single guys are part of the [b]"lifestyle"[/b] for many couples. Why is fmf ok, but mfm is not ok?
As a side note: The vast majority of our play is with couples(our preference). But we occasionally like mfm for the different dynamics it offers. We have been very lucky with mfm and haven't had a bad experience yet, which I cannot say is always true with every couple we've met.[/quote]
We live here. Our experience is that most couples do not hate single men. Most married men are not intimidated by the presence of single men. Most couples and singles whether super active or rarely active in the lifestyle don’t post anything in the forum section of this website. As is the case with so much on the internet, a few of us that do read or post in the forums, may give others the impression that we are a good general representation of the community’s mindset. Obviously we aren’t. What we read here is mostly just personal preferences. There are some thoughts expressed that we find interesting, sometimes enlightening. Sometimes people are just venting. Sometimes it’s angry venting stemming from personal experience. As for insecurities, we all have at least a few.[/quote]
Well said. Thank you!
What really defines a TRUE swinger? - - My definition of "Swingers" is a couple in which both partners have agreed to allow the other to have an intimate relationship with another person. There are lots of situations that fit that description and lots of emotional states that occur as a result of swinging but that description works for me. So as a single male I don't think of myself as swinger but as someone who enjoys hanging out with swingers!
Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - Ya, right? Nice pics, too (btw) :)
See, Florida can be as sexy as Utah ;)
Being Stood Up - Sucks to be stood up - carrier, now thats just funny. that said, swingers are as a rule flakes its gonna happen so we recomend just meeting someplace you would go anyway that way when people flake off you can just enjoy your evening without them.
lifestyle club downtown slc... - - whos all going to the swingers club tonight? we are looking for unicorns or married women who can play alone... if you see us out say hey. let us buy you a drink...
Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - [quote=BMSHELL]I think my advice above boils down to:
1) Be honest.. Don't try to mislead people about who or what you are.
2) Make an effort to give others a chance to get to know you and trust you.
3) Don't be gross.
And this stuff is nothing more than my opinion.. While I would love a world where everyone is required to agree with me, that probably won't happen for at least 5 more years, if things continue to go well. ;)[/quote]What'd people beat up on you for your suggestions or something? [em]Emo_54[/em] I liked 'em and thought them useful.
Our profile used to include mostly goofiness -- but then that was OK 'cause that's pretty much been our approach to this whole swingin' thing. It's not all that important in the scheme of things and seems to always work out best for us if we don't take it or ourselves too seriously. We're pretty comfy with where we're at now with friends and all -- so I've toned it down to reflect that but if I were back into a voracious hunt again I'd certainly take your remarks into consideration. Good stuff! :)
Swinger Friendly Businesses - Business or services friendly to swingers - i am an electrician my self and do some side work on the side i am a journeyman electrician have been in the trade for 13 years contact me an i will see what i can do
Burnt out from searching - - [quote=ThroughTheVeil]Maybe the problem is that you're shooting too high?
I mean, don't get me wrong, everyone has their preferences, and at the end of the day, you shouldn't do anything (or anyone) you don't want to, but were in a similar boat of having to reach out a lot and getting rejected, a lot... even after making quick contact (or even longer contact) with a couple. Now if we didn't care who we met up with, we'r would have a different couple every night we had free time and some to spare, so having standards is important for time management also. What I'm saying is, if you're frustrated with how little (quality) contact, maybe you should give more people the benefit of the doubt.
I can think of couples that we initiated contact, 4 or 5 times before meeting, and then when we finally did, had a great time and became good friends, but that also meant reaching out to couples 6 or 7 times before realizing we were wasting our time swallowing our pride over them.[/quote]
The Lord and Lady of the Veil (Vale?) make a very good point. We've found that MANY swingers (Ourselves included.) are somewhat predispositioned (Yes, I know that's not really a word.) to constantly be on the lookout for what we might consider the perfect or ideal couple/connection and thus ignore people we might actually end up having a fairly great connection with because they didn't check one of our boxes for things thought we were looking for. Far too often it's too easy to overlook a good or even great couple when searching for the perfect one (That might not actually exist!). How much great or even just good sex might we be passing up in the pursuit of perfect sex? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I Sense A Disturbance In The Force - You know it when it happens - You are walking around a mall, store, or sitting in a restaurant when you sense a disturbance in the force. You feel it in your belly. You know it just happened. You look over at another single or couple and you get that feel. It is not just that you are attracted to them, you KNOW they are Swingers.
Ever happen to you?
Mav
On Premise Swingers Club - SLC - I have been on the receiving end of City attempts at regulation of a club in another state. I believe the only way that one could truely avoid the heavy hand of the morality police is being organized as a church or truely a private club which whould require some form of selection process of club members. Even this would not keep you out of trouble, only grant you leverage in court.
There is a case law study avaialable that can give you some overview of the current case law. http://www.moralityinmedia.org/nolc/caseStudies/swingersPack.pdf
Renting a location per event is likely the best way to avoid problems. However I know how hard it is just to setup a dance on a per event basis, an on-premise event would be much more work. The effort may be worth it, especially if you have a lot of people to help.
One way we made this work was a once a year event where we rented out a hotel during the off-season. The innkeeper was very comfortable with us being there and we were the only people that could get a room that week-end every year. We had the full use of the convention center and the swimming pool.
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