Paynesville Swingers in Minnesota

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How Old Is Old - - My two cents is....Why should I open myself up like a flower and let every bee take some of my pollen dust....No that is never going to happen lol. I don't care about age nor does the hubby. We are not the oldest or the youngest....Probably right in the middle. Being in the middle you get pulled from both ends....One will win while the other might not. However, if I open my mind I like to take my time and enjoy the splender in all of it. Mostly having the right connection is KEY to everything and everyone! We have been lied to a time or two about ages and been suddenly surprised but, we still had a great time and may not and usually does not end in sex on the first time. Takes us a while to find a couple that we like and who likes us for who we are too! I personally do not like to be told I do not have an open mind from people way older or way younger. As we are SWINGERS which to some means you are EASY...Which is not true in any way and why some bottom feeders make it hard for other then cry out for the unjustice.....Ummm Sex is about feeling alive and if you make us not feel that way, no matter the age. Then we shall pass by and keep looking.

Why do you swing? - Why not? - [quote=DEEPMOAN]I started early in college, wasn’t called swinging but partying, had been with women already but the threesomes and larger parties started then too. Had gotten married after grad school to someone that hadn’t experienced any of it. Started as pillow talk when he asked about my past, I asked him then if he seriously wanted to know, in the back of my mind I knew I shouldn’t bring it up. But things in bed weren’t great and I had tried and was trying to talk about it but he didn’t take suggestions well. So I thought putting it all out there might help. In the beginning it did help, we were trying new stuff just between the two of us but always talking. Then he asked if I still knew anyone, told them pretty much everyone you have met of my friends had been or still are involved. He asked if I what sex with her or her or her, but then reluctantly asked if I had sex with him or him and told him. Those two I had threesomed with, been with her and her and him and him. We would have great sex while I was telling him about the parties or whatever. I asked him if he wanted to go to a party sometime? I made sure I asked while we were not having sex so he could absorb it all or hope he would. At that point personally I don’t think I would need to swing but the thought of starting up again was certainly exciting for me as well. Am sure you can probably understand how this all went. Unfortunately he didn’t have the mind for swinging, talking about it or fantasizing about it he did. Thought the best thing would be for me to invite a couple over. Friends of mine that he had gotten to know, he was quite taken by her. I had always had a great time with them. I spoke to them both to see if they were interested, told them how we got to this point. They said they would be up for, us three agreed we would take it slow and let him try and get a handle on how things progressed. Had asked him if he wanted to be in the same room with things heated up? We would see how it went and make a decision then. My gf thought it might be better if they were separate and he didn’t have to worry about me in the room with him. All went great, dinner and drinks, out by their pool, the 4 of us were talking about all and at one point Tina grabbed him and took him to their bedroom. Was telling him I had no idea how this was going to go, but relaxed and started having some fun myself. Very shortly after I could hear them in the kitchen, she and I had talked that before they came out she would take him somewhere close so I would know they were on their way out and I could stop rather than be in the middle of something. Her husband knew as well. Tina and my husband were telling us how much fun they had but I knew something didn’t go well. Finding out he was asking Tina about my past, all sorts of questions, things he didn’t ask me. Of course Tina’s response to all were I don’t know, we got home and in bed I was asking how it went, he was telling me a bunch of shit, how he got her off, how much she loved it, a lot more of the same, also how much of a stud he was and she did things I never did. He asked what we did, told him not much, mostly talk, had given him oral, why just that, because you were gone less than a half hour, but told him we were talking. So much for the great sex after. Like I said earlier, he just didn’t have the mind for it, nothing I was going to do or say would have changed that I believe. After we went to a couple of house parties, but the pillow talk had stopped and knowing after he saw me had sex at a house party it wasn’t going to continue like our marriage, snide comments about me with other men and other reasons were the end of our marriage. Was meant to be single, truly believe that even when I get a romantic connection now with a partner, man or woman.[/quote] That really sucks. Sorry to hear that. It makes me laugh (cringe?) when I hear so many swingers talking about vanilla hunting and/or converting their friends to swinging. The harsh truth is that MOST people simply cannot handle swinging and are best left to their fantasies about fucking other people recreationally.

Finding Connections - Do the majority of swingers wait to be approached? - For context, I'm the male of the couple and have been on a single male profile for most of my time on this site. I don't think I've ever actually met anyone for the first time from this website. I send out the occasional email, and I get approached every once in a while, but nothing ever happens. For me, this was a place to stay connected with the people that I met in person, at parties and events and things like that. It has been a much more effective tool for that than for meeting people. But like I said, I was a single male profile for a very long time. Now that we're on an account together, we might have more luck meeting other couples on here. We'll have to wait and see. As for being approached... it varies. If it's someone I'm not interested in, I do usually try to reply and let them know that it's not going to work for whatever reason. I don't do that as often for single males, because I've had some bad experiences with them harassing me afterwards, but for couples I personally try to reply. Not everybody does, and I imagine that for some people who get lots of requests it would become time-consuming to reply to everyone.

A paradigm shift - polyamory - Your thoughts? Here are mine... - Hitting the topic of Poly.... I am poly my wife is not. We swing. I have a lady friend, spice if you will who is also married and her husband is not poly and they do not swing. We, all 4 of us are fast friends and both my wife and her husband have no problem with her's and my arrangement. THey also know that We swing. Now how did that person come into our life.. we met and became friends almost immediatly. I fell in love with her but am sill "IN love with my wife as well. I< we, like to become friends with people before we jump into the sack with them... BTW they both know that we swing. Could I fall in love with another woman, definitely.. Could I fall for a woman who we might swing with....I could and have. No biggy...If she is not into that I understand... Not everyone can handle the situation Some one mentioned that jealousy are natural.... Only in the sense that by example we are programmed to them, just as we are not "taught " not to eat other people but we kind of get that impression...Canibalism(sp) is not acceptable any more than is marrying ones own sister or brother. Possessiveness is about owning somthing that is not yours to own. No one owns anyone else and especially not their spouse. Is it natural to own a person? I say no. Somehow when people get into a relationship the idea creeps in that says that the other person is your exclusive property. One need to put that aside if one is a swinger. As for jealousy.... Jealousy is a combination of both possessiveness and ones own insadequacies. Maybe one could describe that as fear.. Fear that she or he will meet someone better. Fear that we are not good enough, etc etc etc. So Jealousy is a reaction to these fears and the possessiveness not a true emotion at all. Everyone thinks of Jealousy as an emotion, which it is not. So polyamory is very possibly with swinging but may purists of poly will say that poly and swinging are difinitely two different things... Maybe but they can exist simultaneously. Just a note; More than 60% and I've seen figures up to 77% of all married couples, and I'm sure that it extends to LTR's as well...maybe even swingers, are at some time in their life engaged in serial monogamy..; i.e., either cheating or getting ready for the split-up. Isn't this a simpler form of or something like poly? ... THink about that....

who's Online - - Just an FYI on this topic from the source. In response to MAYBEMOR's statement, we do not use deception, nor do we create fake profiles. We have never done that and never will. We've been around for 10 years, all the profiles you see are accumulative up to this point. Because most of the members are lifetime members, we are not obligated to remove inactive profile with lifetime membership status. However, we do remove non-lifetime, non-paying members after 6 months of inactivity. How do you know we aren't creating fake profiles? You don't. You just have to take our word for it I guess. Being around for 10 years has it's privileges. For one, our member base is big enough that creating fake profiles doesn't do us any good. It would actually hurt us since nobody on the other end would be responding. Second, we are in the top 10 of all swinger related search results. We don't need to create fake profiles since we are getting tons of new members each day anyways. Just search for 'adult swingers' or 'swinger ads' on Google and see for yourself. As for Who's Online, there is a 4 hour window from the last time you have any activity and then the system will delete you automatically. The way the internet works, there is just no true way to tell you are online without constantly hitting the server with requests which would end up slowing down the website for you and everyone else. So we keep you in the system just in case you are away from your computer and you still want people to know you are available. Thus the 4 hour window. As for chat, if you see someone listed in the chatroom list before you open chat, it's because they probably logged out of chat but left the chat window open. The website and chatroom are on two different platforms and do not communicate with each other. We have to use the chat window as a mechanism to tell us who 'may' be in the chatroom. This system relies on the last person in the chatroom to clean out the database information for those that were in the chat room and since they are that last ones, it will keep them showing, even if they aren't there. Also, if someone is in the chatroom and leaves for a moment, the chatroom will kick them out. Since the chat window is still open, it will show them on Swingular as in the chatroom. So this isn't a matter of deceptive practices, it's a matter of mechanics.

Single Males vs. Unicorns - this is ridiculous - This site is no different than any other swingers site. I'm afraid that you will find good and bad in all groups, be it single males, single females, or couples. There are those that give their perspective groups a bad name, but unfortunately, little can be done about it, as it can be hard to verify who is for real and what someone's intentions are, without knowing them in person. In my time in the lifestyle, I have observed...single males who were actually in relationships but looking for secret side action, single females, who seem to have a husband/bf who's looking to join...but she still lists as single, and couples who believe that simply because they bring someone along to a party...it gives them free range to do as they please. On the flip side, I have met some very nice people from all 3 groups as well. My point is...all 3 of these groups have their roles in the lifestyle, but until a foolproof way comes along of determining who's for real and who's not...we will all have to deal with the good and the bad. As others have mentioned though...if you are object to a particular group and don't want to hear anything from members of that group...block/ignore them. Just remember that you are throwing out the good along with the bad.

Camper talk - Swing parties in campers have you done it - We regularly camp with other swingers. RVs are always rocking at night. Word of caution, don't put 4 active people on one end of a pop-up trailer; it doesn't end well. :) Needless to say, we have a full-size RV now.

Not getting much action on here - - Lol. Think of what you can do for the swingers site not what the swinger site can do for you. Lol On a more serious note... I think if we spend just a little more time looking at our profiles from second/third party view/angle we will see part of the problem. Hey you know what? 90% of the problem is the profile 5% is the first contacts and 5% you choose.. Swingular gave us a platform to connect.. I am not sure there is a payment plan that includes 1)what to say 2) where to meet 3) how to take it to the next level 4) how to improve skills in bed.. etc. I didn’t think this site will be the UBER- for swingers (giving members RIDERS) until uber for swingers is created get your appreciation mode activated. Lmao cya.

The definition of cheating - - Interesting discussion. Certainly from a relationship standpoint the classic definition of cheating is being with someone other than your partner physically and/or emotionally. As swingers, however, we often hold ourselves above others and fall back on the lying and/or sneaking around aspect. Personally I feel that being dishonest with the person you hold most dear in this life to be the essence of cheating for me. When information is withheld you take away that person's prerogative to choose whether or not to stay in the relationship with you based on your actions outside of the relationship. There are a million ways people rationalize cheating. I find that a person's attitude towards cheating is a very good litmus test for the depth of their character. Now should we talk about cheating on a test or cheating other people out of their hard earned money? How about cheating on your taxes or at a poker game with friends? At what point DOES cheating become morally reprehensible or should it be "all's fair in love and war" and "every man (or woman) for himself"? Or as SIRNEWBY asserts, is self deception/lying/cheating really the only valid metric? Or did I misunderstand your point, SN? It would be interesting to get feedback from people (I'm sure there are plenty) who've been cheated on.

Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - BUBBLES: It will only be a serious contender if the judges actually know what they're looking at, and understand its significance. I've been judging in car shows for nearly 30 years - everything from concours national events to local cruise ins - and I've also been a participant for more years than that. It's never ceased to amaze me what total idiots some organizations can come up with to judge at the shows they put on. Nice piece you've got there, and Sterling Silver to boot. I assume it's an M40?