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hall passes - who all does it - Never could understand the "Hall Pass" thing for swingers or the "No separate Room thing".
If you're confident in your relationship (which alot of you say you are) why do you need either?
If u guy's want to do these things...be careful what u ask for.
Your woman is going to have alot more opportunities then you.
What's the universal swinger signal? - How can you spot a swinger?? - [quote=CARRIERMAN]As T4REAL69 has already said, this is an old topic that's been hashed and rehashed here on the Forums more times than any of us can count. And I always answer the question the same way. How can you tell if someone is a Swinger? "If you look over in the other bed, and see a man fucking your wife, while you're fucking his, there's a pretty good chance they're Swingers."[/quote]
hahahahaha
BTW I thought sharing is caring was a swinger saying.... if not then I'm suggesting it and printing it on tshirts and vinyl this weekend for cars/whatever... let me know if you want any and I'll get with you on the prices...
Combining Lifestyle & Non-Lifestyle Friends - - [quote=SLCJEEPER]Ah, good topic AC! We're happy to have met many people here that we now consider good close friends that we don't have to hide from when we see them at the mall while we're out with our kids. LoL! It's nice to find those who can be vanilla because our whole life isn't about swinging. So, yes, we have had success in blending swingers into our vanilla lifestyle and we hope to find more:)
Joe & Debbi
[/quote]guess we've been lucky too! We've found a number of friends who we are able to see in a "vanilla" setting, as well....and never had to worry about any "beans" gettin' spilled...
As every profile says..."discreation is a must........"
Calling all losers! - LS and club scene - ...........................................I am bored on a Sunday, so going to waste a bit of time. :)
I have said this before and I will mention it again here. Often times people are looking for a black and white answer, a "this" or "that" or they tend to pigeonhole themselves into a place that feels comfortable to them. It is great that people can search for and find people of similar interests. The original question was why is the Utah scene so closely related to the club scene. To me, that isn't necessarily the way things are and so I am responding to shed a different insight into the question. How big is the club scene in Utah? I don't feel it is that big. We have the Moose Lounge on Fridays on a regular basis, we used to have Habits and then we have the parties that happen once a month or less frequently, such as the Sinful parties. Give or take a few other club locations and attendees.
The average attendance at the Moose Lounge is around 80 people every Friday. My guess is that this number is well under 10% of the swinging population in the area. Just estimating. This only happens once a week. If we only consider the weekend as play time (Friday and Saturday), which is also an inaccuracy since people do meet weekdays and Sunday as well, that means that only 5% of the population of swingers is actually attending the swinger club scene on the weekends. Certainly not a majority by any means.
Sinful is definitely a club scene. And maybe we should define "club". I will say that is an environment where there is a DJ or another form of music, often times on the loud side as people like to dance, has a dance area for such activities, and typically doesn't open until 9 or so at night. Sinful probably hosts on average 150 people on average (S&A, don't get mad if this number is off,lol) and these happen maybe once a month. Lets just round this high and say that is 20% of the swinger population. However, many that attend the Moose and other clubs are the same that attend Sinful. Similar crowd and often an overlap. So still nowhere near a majority, or even a large percent. In fact, quite the opposite. This scene is well in the minority.
So I am submitting that this really isn't and accurate assessment of the situation and based on more of a sense or feeling than actual fact.
What this tells us then is that most of the people in the lifestyle are not meeting at clubs and are not necessarily dancing and staying up until all hours of the night but are finding other avenues where they meet.
What other options are out there. Venus Game night, Kandy K, Sensual Massage... These venues are not club scenes, are a relaxed place and quiet enough to talk without "using hand signals". There still might be music and a dance floor, but there are certainly quite areas to talk, socialize and sometimes even fuck, if that is your scene. I would estimate that as many or more people attend these type of events and for most of these it is an older crowd who is more apt to be in bed at an earlier hour, though that is also an assumption and assumptions are obviously a poor way to derive information or determine a truth. I would question if any of the people in this forum have attending these more mellow parties and what they didn't like about that. The loud music is gone, it is a great way to meet many nice, non-pushy people with similar interests and since the crowd is a bit more mature (probably not the Venus parties) then there would be people of similar interests there. Now it may be of benefit of the party hosts to start earlier, say 6 or 7, so the activities can finish up earlier and I'm sure the hosts would entertain that if it was a common complaint.
Apart from these types of parties and club scenes the only other way to meet people in a group setting are house parties, although keep in mind the Sinful hosts to things outside of the club but the crowd will usually still be the same people who attend the Sinful Club parties so are probably younger and okay with staying up late and partying, so probably not for the majority of people responding on this forum looking for an early-to-bed group. Let's talk about house parties. The ones we host sometimes have upwards of 60 or 70 people. These are people we have met before, for the most part, and we don't invite random people to these. We have an area to dance, music, but also areas that are quiet. The party starts around 7 and goes until... whenever. 6 am at times, but many leave before that. These aren't orgy parties and people don't show up expecting that. We also do game nights where we have 3-5 couples over for games, drinks, no dancing, hot tub, etc. Also people we know. We have been to many house parties as well and it is usually people we have met before. We are very leery of parties where there is some expectation to show up and fuck. We avoid these. Not our scene. But these house parties are out there. The doors close at 9, naked by 10, fucking by 1015. You are expected to fuck someone. Definitely not for us but definitely an okay and acceptable thing for others. Judgment is such an incredibly hypocritical thing in the lifestyle and I am astounded by how many people judge others. It is one thing to not enjoy a certain thing and to stay away from it, but it demean it, negate the validity of it and try to reduce the people who do it is completely asinine. My point is there is a variety, a full spectrum to every aspect of the lifestyle. From people looking only to make friends to people only looking to fuck. There is no right and wrong or black and white.
We have so many good friends now that we feel super fortunate and blessed every day. But how did we meet those friends. Here is the key. Through hard work. Through dinner dates, clubs, social events, house parties and networking. Remember, this is my opinion, so please, readers, don't get offended. If you limit yourself to one avenue your success will be limited and you will have very few options in finding that fun couple that you click with. Many of our friends that we have met at a club typically like to be in bed at 10, or sometimes like to stay up late. Some of the people we have met in the most casual environment turn out to be crazy, fun party animals. I'm not saying if you don't attend the clubs you won't find what you are looking for especially since we have already determined that the club scene is so small. What I am saying is that if you are expecting a one-stop shop, or a fix-all, your success will be super limited. Your goal, I believe, is to meet as many people as possible and then sort through those you like and don't like until you are satisfied with your results. If you label the "club scene" as negative in your own mind, you might also be inadvertently labeling other fun activities and only reinforcing the confirmation bias you already have. Don't limit yourself to one way of finding friends, especially since it sounds like it isn't working that well for you now. We have found friends in every imaginable situation. Single dates, group dates, vacations, house parties and yes, clubs. I know our way works simply by the amount of amazing people that surround us and we call friends, and yes, some friends with benefits.
Taking the time to start a topic is a good idea. The people on here all seem to have a similar interest and maybe some of you will take advantage of that, meet, and if things align, you make new friends. Maybe there is a need for a group to form that meets around 6 and finishes around 10 where only wine is served and only soft music is playing in the background. If so, take the initiative and form such a group. Create your own success. Maybe there needs to be a better way to post smaller events where only a few couples are going camping, coffee drinking, or similar. And maybe it is on Swingular and just not being utilized correctly. I'm sure with enough feedback the site could be fitted with such a feature.
So don't despair. There are many, many people with similar interests and needs. You just have to find them. Each scene and venue has positives and negatives. Try to focus on the negative and utilize the resources that they are and you just might find your holy grail of FWB or what else it is you are looking for. Good job on the topic and hopefully that perfect couple is just around the corner.
Mr. SRO...................................................................................................
On the road again - Frequent Travelers - Interesting thought
It would be fun to meet other swingers on the road for the purpose of hanging out, not swinging....
Use to be a girl who's handle was MollyWhore, anyone seen her? - MollyWhore6969 - these responses are priceless. I'd never be searching for molly in a swingers group, that would be crazy. The wife won't dp unless Molly is holding her hand. Well....that's a lie, but still!
Symbol Question - -
WEFLY,
Not a guru, just takin a guess. Amy could be correct in that it maybe referencing swingers. LOL. I was going for the literal approach.
-Don-
Proud member of
Finding a balance - Swinging and Religion - - This has always been a tough controversy. Religion, swinging. I am agnostic and my GF was LDS. Her family is hardcore LDS still and pushed the faith on their daughter (my GF) and her kids even. They preach that they want their whole family in the religion cuz they need to know "right from wrong". I asked the kids (8 & 6 yrs old) what they learn in church.. seems to me all they learn about is how great their "savior" is, how he loves us, and we can look to him, and family is a "unit".. they dont seem to learn anythign about right and wrong. Yet.. her parents try to preach to me that their religion teaches them right from wrong and that their "right & wrong" is the correct one. They are also very controlling, judgemental, pushy, 2-faced, and negative in every aspect... OMG! is this what u learn in church and how family is supposed to be?? They found out we swing, and told me its adultry and we're cheating and its immoral.. OK, umm.. we;re not married and what we do is 100% consentual... funny, but seems like the more LDS we meet, the more seem to be JACK mormons. so why are LDS swinging or why are swingers in religions that condem it? is it just for the prestige and status of being in the church and to shut the family up??
Ok, #1, I hate ppl who follow a faith and feel theirs is the correct one so much that they push it on everyone and judge other beliefs as the wrong ones rather then understanding tolerance and the fact that there is no such thing as right or wrong... only opinion and difference... what works for you may not work for me.
#2, I hate hypocrates. ppl who preach about how much they follow their religion, go to church and lie in front of everyone there about how much they follow the rules and how the church has saved them.. Then, behind closed doors, they go against everything they believe in. Then they preach about how much they follow their churches rules and its "right & wrong" is the ultimate. Those ppl are called liars and 2-facers..
#3, Kids should be taught "Right & Wrong" from their parents, not a group of ppl that i described in examples #1 & #2. WTF do they know?? Kids should also be introduced to church by their own choice and when they are old enuf to understand it.
[b]In my opinion, If you wanna swing, then it doesnt seem like u really believe in ur church's beliefs... why are u in it? If u believe ur church's teachings above all.. then why are you swinging?[/b]
[b]I have nuthing against either, but I think its best to pick a side. Thats why I dont follow any religion.. I dont believe in any of them... too many hypocrates, liars, 2-facers, judgemental, stuck-ups... people who are willing to bend and cheat their own rules, morals and beliefs behind closed doors and especially when its to their benefit...[/b]
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - i like to eat babies. they taste like chickens. and chickens taste like babies.
