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New to this all - - Single guys donn't exactly have a easy time of it in the swinging world. It's made up mostly of couples with the occassional Unicorn (single female), and many couples have a "we're trading, but you're not providing the female part of the trade" attitude, which goes all the way back to when what is now called swinging was called wife swapping. And the vast majority of couples who are interested in inviting a single person to play with them are looking for a female, not a male. There just aren't very many people looking for a single male, and there are tons of them looking to be involved. So the numbers are against you. Besides that, it's hard for a single male to meet people. They're allowed to attend only a very, very few parties and/or events unless they have a female with them. Even the male half of a known swinging couple often isn't welcome if the female half isn't with him. He may be in a couple, but withput the woman he's just another single guy.
Your best chance at someone being interested in you is online at a site like this. But, again, there are gazillions more single males than there are people looking for them, so the competition is pretty tough. To be a "winner", you usually need to be relatively young, pretty good looking, and fairly fit. So if you want to generate any interest, you have to post pics. And while nudes are a good idea if you hsave the body for it, straight dick pics are not, unless it's 10 inches long or something. And even then it might be a turn off more than a turn on for lots of people. If you don't have any pics of yourself posted, those difficult odds you face morph into impossible odds.
If you do manage to attend any parties or events, chill. Don't be aggressive. Single males have a rep for assuming any woman at a swinger's function wants to jump into the sack with them. From what I've seen, most single males aren't like that, but enough are that single guys get labelled as a group, so the best way to behave is as if the woman you're talking to is someone you just met at some "normal" party. The only real difference between a swinging woman and a "normal" woman, whether she's single or in a couple, is that she doesn't think it's necessary to be in some kind of a relationship with someone in order to have sex. Female swingers are just as selective as women in general, and while her presence at a swinging party does mean she's interested in sex, she might not be interested right then, or she might not be interested in you. And a good way to turn that interest off if it's there is to act like it's a given that she wants you. The most important thing to remember is that it's always up to the woman. Whether anything happens, and if it does just what happens, is her decision.
So post some pics, be just as respectful to any swinger women you might meet as you would be to any non-swinger woman and if she's part of a couple be respectful to her man, and good luck.
Swingers of Color - - Thanks for all the replys!
Identifying Swingers! - Lots of talk and now some action! :) - We like what you are doing and agree that it does not stand out like something we tried before. We are curious to see what the new items will look like. Is there a way to get on a mailing list for your site?
We tried wearing a pin that was given to us from another site and forgot to take it off my jacket at the end of the night. The next time I wore the jacket we were with family and they wanted to know what the initials in bright colors stood for. In a pinch I replied it stands for the "safe drivers club ". Then my mother in law wanted to join but I further explained it was for us that drag raced and went a certain time with no accidents. So I invited her to drag race and earn her own pin but she declined.
And that is why we would appreciate a more subtle way of letting others know about our lifestyle choices. Please keep us informed.
Joe and Lori
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Bunny,
Pelvis gave it away eh?
J&J,
Let's hang soon.
-D-
Young Couples, Females 18-25? - We see a variation... - when we first started out in this lifestyle We were both 23. 10 years ago Holy CRAP we werent married yet and we were only experimenting well it worked well for us we're still enjoying it 10 years later. When we first started we had a hard time finding couples like us (our age similar builds etc. ) its only been recently (last few years) that lots of new faces and younger couples are Diving in Face first or leggs spread however you want to phrase it.. and now look at us we're NOW (OLD) LOL Not young and hot anymore (Phfooey on that ) well we have learned its good to go outside your normal comfort zone be attracted to whats in the box and not always whats outside if you want lasting friendships and repeat good times. yeah Sometimes there are exceptions but we try to base it on chemistry and our Feelings for the people not always how they look. If your only in it to get the rocks off By all means Enjoy the ones who look for the same there is so many different levels to this lifestyle there is something for everyone.. Best of luck to the two of you There are young couples like you Most couples in your age group and we were guilty of it too are Not mature enough in thier relationships to truly enjoy this lifestyle they often set rules and limits up which set them up for a bad evening because sometimes people like to break rules traditionally swingers are not quite (follow the rules type of people) Keep an open mind. Talk about everything before and after and keep your communication strong.
Also BTW in response to your other post.. (tell her No need to worry She is Very Sexy and cute.)
Casual sex - Seems like good news to us. - We've found that its much easier in California to just "hook up" because most of the clubs who cater to swingers have rooms, beds, pools and jacuzzi inside their premises and you bring your own drinks. Most of the times there is food and a bar to serve the drinks you bring so its all there and all you have to do is show up and dance, get naked and have sexy fun (not in that order).
Who is going to Younge swingers week HEDO? - anyone going? - Anyone going? cause we are :) wanted to see who we would meet there
Question - do you talk about other swingers? - good point HRNYLTLTART00 and WOLFMAJESTIC :)
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - The Facebook group just provides information on upcoming events. Keep in mind that it is not just a lifestyle bar, so there are non lifestyle people there as well.
Combining Lifestyle & Non-Lifestyle Friends - - We have both Swinger and non-swinger friends. We have found a few "swinger" friends that we would be "friends" with if we were not in the lifestyle. We have tried to invite these friends to parties that we have SPECIFICALLY specified as "VANILLA". Almost every time we have had our "swinger" friends cross boundaries which makes our "non-swinger" friends (who have non idea about our "lifestyle") go "WTF?!?!?!?!?!?". It has happened numerous times so it's no one in particular. Has ANYONE has success in blending swingers into their vanilla lifestyle? Just askin......
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