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Respect...Needed? or just forgotten. - - The various points that have been made are well taken.
We have been approached by people who are rude or crass. Typically it is a single male, often married pretending to be single or the de facto single male -- half of a vanilla couple pretending to be a swinging couple.
I have several observations:
This single male is far more likely to be a trial member.
They have little or no real knowledge of swinging and it shows.
They don\'t expect to be invited to join the couple or single female they approach.
They simply find a cheap thrill in the crass sexaulity of the rude note they send.
(I suspect they type them with one hand.)
If given the oportunity (which their approach itself precludes) they would not play.
Don\'t confuse them with the polite & respectful single males that are a part of swinging.
We jokingly refer to them as hard-ons. They think because they once had a hard on -- they are qualified to swing. My FAVORITES are the ones that will \"let you watch\" or \"don\'t mind if you joins in\" as if somehow by their offer alone -- Belinda becomes theirs.
You will see them at the clubs. Somehow they come up with the courage to go to a swingers club that allows single males. They are the males that hide in a corner too afraid to approach anyone or they are the males that come into the room with attitude written all over them -- as if saying \"I paid my fees -- who do I get to fuck\".
If he is found out, the male half of the vanilla couple will stamp and stammer and claim that either he has his wife\'s permission or that she is cold and he is not getting any at home. Given their approach to sex. I have figured out, at least in part, why they are not getting any at home.
I was raised by a very southern, very polite, Daughters of the Confederacy -- mother. Thus I had to endure the suffering born of numerous catillions or formal dances. Everyone knew everyone at the dances. Everyone knew that everyone was there to dance. But you went through the rituals of an introduction and small talk -- prior to dancing. While this analogy ignores the aspects of friendship that are a part of swinging. I have found that the manners I learned at my mothers knee have served me well in swinging. (Don\'t ya know that would shock the hell out of her!)
Alex - New to the lifestyle looking for my first encounter into couples and single females - Utahldscouple / openmarriage -
My mistake. I read two different responses and mistakenly attributed them both to openmarriage! The other was "don’t understand how single guys can be swingers". My bad.
Here's something Ive been curious about - - [quote=DRAGONFLIES]Two singles meeting up to have sex with a couple doesn't make them swingers. It makes them friends of convenience. [/quote]I could use that line to describe many married couples. I don't just randomly pair up with someone to have sex with or to meet other couples with. I care about my partners, and their well-being. We have a relationship, we communicate before we meet others, we use protection, and are respectful of feelings. We spend holidays together, do family things, and yes I call them friend, but we share more than just sex. I would never characterize them as friends of convenience.
[quote=ANDRAYWAY_SHANAYNAY]can't we all just fuck and get along?
[/quote] Great idea, Friend.
Poly ideas - Ethical non-monogamy...I like that label. - We were thinking of starting a gun store for swingers and calling it "Poly Armory". But then we realized we like money too much, and investments based on bad puns are never really a good idea.
Swingers Dares - Text for cards in the game - TCMISSY... Let us know where to get that game (Blush).
A good dare for a woman is........ she has to put her cell phone on vibrate and insert it inside herself. Everyone takes turns calling her. We have a game that has that and it was hilarious.
Disabled Swingers - - The opportunity for me to play with someone who has a physical handicap/disability has never presented itself.
And I've never even given it much thought, one way or the other.
But I see absolutely NO reason why it would enter into my decision on whether or not to play.
There but for the grace of God go I.
OK, the smell just pissd you off what do you do? - - You know, I was thinking the other day there should be a swingers guidebook. For instance ladies, its nice of us to shave, wash up, etc "down there". But then go ruin all your work by peeing and not washing again with soap and water.........and then expect your guy (or some one else ;) ) to want to eat you and spend time doing it? Prolly not. Oh, and skip the bath powders and feminine deoderant down there if you want to be eaten. Pussy has a flavor, and its probably better than the taste of Johnsons and Johnson baby powder. Same for guys. yes, the phrase is shit, shower, shave. In that order please.
And if you think you might ber going out later to have sex, or oral, and you are a guy, skip putting salt all over everything. Makes "everything" more salty. And if you are a lady, skip spaghetti loaded with garlic for dinner. Just in case.........
Who is going to Younge swingers week HEDO? - anyone going? - [quote=SHEPASKI]It's already sold out that week right?[/quote]
oh yeah been for a while.
Pink flamingo - How many swingers have a pink flamingo in their front yard? - Yeaa, all the "secret" swinging hints and references are all just funny. Even then I would love to see an upside down pineapple in the grocery cart.
New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - just curious if there has been any momentum from this feed? It seems there is a following, so where do we go from here? Being a swinger in Utah definitely has it's down falls, one of which being "follow through". We have tried nearly every avenue in finding fwb only to find most just want sexting buddies. If we had a place to physically meet, the way it was once upon a time before technology, there would be a much higher success rate at actually meeting people! I've seen an e-vite somewhere floating around that invites members of swingular to a private area of a public club downtown on Friday nights. Has anyone ever attended this? How was it? I think that would be a good place to start for getting a feel of how many would actually attend something like this if you are serious about opening a venue.
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