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Feelings on Karma - spouses in a open relationship that break the rules, then will allow you to also - Are you serious?
If it sounds like a good topic for The Jerry Springer Show...
People like that are not good "swingers" for lack of a better term. They are foolishly wagering their relationships to be self indulgant (sp?). The Lifestyle is about TRUST. It is about HONESTY. and believe it or not, supreme COMMITTMENT. I dont even really see how your situation has anything to do with swinging. The rules were set. The rules were broken. It is simply CHEATING.
Anyone who would enter in to a committed relationship, whatever type it is, only to break the rules that you two have agreed on as a couple is selfish in my book. This means you had NO respect for your partner. NO respect for thier feelings. And absolutely NO respect for the relationship. So why bother!?
Cheating is NOT a tennis ball to be whacked back and forth between courts, or awarded as some kind of concellation prize to the victim when one is caught. I think that behavior is just sick.
But thats just my little tiny .02 cents.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
:s
97.1 ZHT... "Swinging in Draper" - - Lock down your wives and children!!! The Swingers are coming! The Swingers are coming! We're a dangerous bunch! Hahahahaha!
He wouldn’t Listen to “no” - My wife said “no” he kept going - [quote=RICOGI1]This was my point exactly. A lynch mob mentality is not constructive and the one sided accusations(I am not questioning the legitimacy of any accusation)in any forum including that of this thread has only fueled the fire and now has overzealous members messaging the wrong couple with incorrect information. Please take my initial comment in the tone that it was intended and keep positivity in our actions within the community.[/quote]
First, a posting like this is everyone’s worst fear realized. People are going to over react, they are going to take her word over his, and we all react this way because we don’t want to listen to both sides of the next story, we don’t want it to happen at all. Us all saying it’s not acceptable is our way of trying to stop the next time.
Second, you post about community. What separates swingers from people just “playing around”, is the trust between two people in a committed relationship trusting each other enough to play with others. Being a single male you don’t have someone to answer to, nor protect. Being single you are not a swinger, you just join those who are.
Your postings show you feel equal to her, which you are not! This is why most shun SM in the community. Yes we do play with SM, those that know they are an addition to our already fun sex life, and approach it as such.
Swinging and LDS... - Are the two compatible? I know this is a huge can of worms... - We were talking to someone we thought was a "vanilla" friend last night. She has told us in the past how she is a total LDS member and "very religious", yet we just found out that she is and has been in the lifestyle for quite a while. We are a bit perplexed. While we are not LDS, we assume the church would frown on the lifestyle. Is this not the case? Or are LDS'rs living a "double life"? We all do to a certain extent, we don't advertise that we are swingers. But, to you who are active LDS members, how hard is to maintain while attending church? To those who are not and have dated LDS members, is it difficult to have poly relationships with members? What are some of the obstacles? We do like her very much.
Pink flamingo - How many swingers have a pink flamingo in their front yard? - [quote=Defiantstranger]Couples who have a joint Facebook account with “His/Her Name N His/Her Name” are often swingers.[/quote]
Swingers of Color - - We have found lots of couples of other races in our experience.
"LDS" Profile Names - - We used to be Mormons (Well, technically, Ms. Evil still is, I guess.). And we've know MANY swingers over the years who have been involved in recreational non-monogamy (A nice way to say committing adultery. LOL) as well as differing levels of activity in the LDS church.
We knew one couple a few years back who would party HARD on Sat. night and still be up early and in the pews every Sunday morning. Invariably they would text us every Sunday evening telling us that they were no longer going to swing...and then about Wednesday of every week they would text again asking us if there were any parties going on the next weekend. LOL It never really bothered us that they somehow justified or practiced some sort of cognitive dissonance when it came to the two activities since most people we know do the same thing but in differing areas of their lives.
One of several reasons we chose our screen name was to poke a little fun at ourselves for taking up wife swapping while we were still somewhat active Mormons. I think,perhaps, a more interesting question/topic isn't how many have "LDS" (or some other designation associated with Mormonism) in their screen names but how very many once staunch Mormons have felt a strong desire to flaunt the strict and onerous chastity laws of the Mormon church to actively participate in our little hobby. [em]Emo_12[/em]
network swingers - - We can't wait to see the show!...AND MAYBE MAKE ONE OF OUR OWN! :)
Swinging versus poly/open - - [quote=SEXYSLC30]I'm speculating here, but it seems the millennial generation as a whole is more open to an open/poly relationship, and it naturally is bleeding into Swingular as more and more younger/ish couples sign up.
We started out with very strict rules about emotions for others, ect. Now, we find ourselves on a spectrum where we still occasionally love the "wham bam, thank you mam" aspects of swinging (what were their names again...😁?), but after several years of that, we are now far more interested in developing relationships with the people we meet. Sometimes that means we have really good friends with benefits, however neither of us are closed to the possibility of dating the right person.
And I don't believe dating others leads to divorce, however not being honest and failing to communicate certainly does. And that applies to swingers and monagamous couples alike.[/quote]
I really relate to your comments and feel we are very similar. Maybe not to the point of dating others but we definitely want to have feelings for others as a couple and individually. The problem is that most of these open relationships seem to be very secretive which leads to distrust and hurt feelings which leads to more extreme behavior and we just don’t want to get caught in the middle of it.
We share and communicate everything, half the fun is turning everyone on which cant happen when it’s all secretive. We just feel more and more pressure to be fully open and people care
About our boundaries less and less. Guys start actively messaging and trying to sext my wife without asking me if that’s okay first. Women start getting extra demanding of my attention and then finding out their husbands know very little about what’s going on. Single guys who simply can’t be our friend as a couple and enjoy some occasional bull time with the wife without wanting more. It’s just been really odd for us these past 2 years.
We also feel that because the current culture of lifestyle parties is more open relationships, new couples get introduced to it and start thinking that’s the only way. So they either do it that way or leave the scene entirely. Our post is partially to let other newbies know there is another way.
new to the scene - - Can you give more clarity on the type of advice you seek? This will help those that are sincere in their responses to give honest answers. There was a post not long ago about swingers and where to start. We will try to find and let you know about it and or put it on the front here when we find it.
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