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Married people lying to their spouses... - - Swingers rule, cheaters drool! [em]Emo_84[/em]
You REALLY have to fend of that many closeted bi guys "each week", Torque?
That's..........................weird.
Been doing this almost 30 years and I can count on one finger how many times I've been hit on by closeted bi males. Are you sure you aren't misreading the signs/signals? Or are they actually outright telling you they want to fuck you (or vice versa?)
I'm not into dudes at all but the double standard in the lifestyle about bi-sexuality is pretty fucked up. [em]Emo_67[/em]
Frustration with Friend Requests - - [quote=EVILDOERS]The underlying problem is the "we're swingers, you're swingers" mindset. We've been around the scene for a long time and met many many people who don't understand why we won't just fuck them...afterall, they're swingers and we're swingers...so let's just fuck already. This "hobby" is for fantasy fulfillment. If you aren't at least a little bit attracted to someone for any reason then what the hell is the point of fucking them? Especially when most of us can stay home and have WAY better sex with someone we love. [/quote]
Well fucking said!
Cuckolding - - Enjoying seeing one's wife/partner have sex with another man (despite the definitions one usually finds in the vanilla world) doesn't reach the level of what true cuckolding is or has come to mean, especially in the context of the lifestyle. While there definitely IS a small subset of swingers who enjoy cuckold-type play it often involves more of a humiliation vibe directed towards the husband and sometimes even some bondage as well, i.e. husband tied up and "forced" to watch wife fucked by a more virile man, etc. while being told how inadequate, small, unmanly he is compared to the "bull".
This misconception of mainstream swinging denoting a cuckholding component for married male swingers is not only way off the mark but it's also a little dangerous in that it far too often gives a very false picture of what the scene actually is to many single males who then treat women/couples accordingly. This, in turn, perpetuates the stereotype of the single male who doesn't really "get" what the scene is about and leads to trashing ALL single males.
We've been AMAZED over the years at how many single males think that married male swingers are cucks when that couldn't be further from the truth.
Go turn on Oprah - re:swingers - Well you can show us anyyyyyytime.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - [quote=HOTTIEHOGANS]I LOVE dp :) love love love. I would like to try dvp too. but we don't do single guys and finding girls that want to do it/allow their hubby's to do it is difficult. :([/quote]
well maybe you need to loosen your standard a little bit? just sayin. I dont mean to be rude but the overall stigma on swingular of how single males are big pieces of shit gets old. I mean that is your choice just dont get on here complaining how rough it is for you to accoplish your goal. Thats like me complaining i am not getting laid because i will only do jennifer anniston, carmen elctra, or megan fox and none of them are returning my calls...lol know what i mean?
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Posted By: TEQUILAROSE Reply posted on:
Jan 8, 2008 - 4:33 pm
I have a question for those of you that allow single females and not single males. You could use the they "bring nothing to the table" argument as well. After all, many of them don't want to play with the male half.
=D=
Well, here is our take on it. BTW, we don't play with single anythings. If we know you well enough and say one of you is going thru our state, we don't mind playing with you as a single provided we know your other half won't mind. Played with a single girl who turned out to be in a possessive relationship. Ditch the bitch was the operation that followed. Anyways, with a single girl, lets say she only wants to play with the lady. Guys are fine with it since they can watch 2 girls go at it.
Vanilla friends / lifestyle - revealing our lifestyle to longtime friends -
T4REAL69,
There will always be those that are quick to pass judgement on others. We choose not to bother ourselves with people like that. We are no ashamed of who we are, nor are we scared of any of our friends or family finding out. As you can tell by my actions on these forums, I (Don), do not live my likes based upon what others think of me. I could give a fuck less. The people I love and live for already know, love and accept me. I say why bother wasting your time with people that suffer from delusions of being holier than thou. They can fuck off.
I see it as a "need to know" situation. If our friends are indeed in the "need to know", we tell them. If we see potential in involving them, we bring them along to a party. If they have an issue and try and force their morals, we cut our losses. What's cool is now nearly all of our friends are swingers or swinger friendly. So it's really no longer an issue.
Think about this. If a person... your "friend" were to say, "Swinging isn't right". Could you not just say, "What makes it wrong?" After all, you are not forcing them to do it. It maybe wrong for them. How is that wrong for you? It doesn't involve them at all. If they are so concerned with what you do in the bedroom, perhaps they are not basing the friendship on the things that really matter. They are not true friends.
-Don-
"Ich habe einen kleinen Vogel in meinem Kopf."
Note: Best if viewed with Microsoft Internet Explorer version 7Alternative ways of connecting. - - You can also try various dating apps. They are hit or miss, but we have had some success with them in the past. There are several that are targeted at swingers/ethically non-monogamous couples like Feeld and 3fun. Okcupid has also opened up and will let you and your partner link your accounts so that whenever someone visits your profile they can see that you are in a relationship with "Bob/Jane" and can check his/her profile out at the same time.
Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em]
Here's something Ive been curious about - - [quote=EVILDOERS]You can't be a "real" swinger unless you're official. We answered an ad in the back of a Spiderman comic book, sent in a quiz and a drawing (boobs and a penis) and they told us we would be AWESOME swingers and to send them 19.95 plus P&H. Now we're card carrying swingers.
If our certification ever expires we're just gonna be plain old wife swappers.[/quote]
You were that kid who sent off for the "sea monkeys" huh? I always wanted a colony of sea monkeys.
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