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Swinging with Vanillas - Any success stories? - well first off we were all Vanilla at one time.
We were the other couple being introduced to swing by good friends. We knew they were swingers, not because they told us but someone else "outed" them. it was just sexy flirting and a slow build, Not "hey we are swingers lets fuck".
our suggestion, because they are friends take it slow, put it out there and read how they take it. if they are good friends either way they will still be friends.
As for those looking for the Unicorns we have had better luck with Vanillas than we have in the lifestyle.
How close is too close - - I think that the question poses a number of possibilities... If only one person is starting to feel something beyond sexual attraction then that person should step back and examine why they are feeling this way. If it is only one way then the person who is having the feelings needs to take stock of the reality of the situation and realize the potential problems involved. If the situation is mutual and noone else realizes it then the two involved need to discuss it... and they both have to weigh the situation. Why is this happening and are the possible ramifications worth the risks involved... If it is possible talk about it with everyone concerned and make a determination as to what needs to be done. I've actually heard about a situation where a couple split over a swinging situation and the lady from the one couple went with the guy from the other couple and the gal from the other couple went with the husband of the woman that went with her husband.. A real twist on the concept of swapping....
Being poly may put a totally different slant on how I look at this problem... since I am involved with a married woman. My wife and her husband are not poly... The other couple are not swingers and we are very good friend as couples... and everyone knows about she and I. It's very difficult to explain to anyone how this works but it does and it can..... So I have a unique perspective on love and swinging... or just married people and love between non married people in married situations.
I would generally say, however, that swingers should not get into love situations unless you and your mate and the other couple can handle this situation.. If a love relationship starts to happen run don't walk to the nearest exit and don't turn around.
Just possibilities .. There are quite a few poly people involved iin swinging...including some of the older people entering into swinging... They are looking to expand their sexual and love relationships as well. THere are also younger people in the lifestyle who are poly.. The subject has come up a surprising number of times of various swinger sites...
So if you're not poly and start to feel love for someone other than you mate... Assess you first as to why... but regardless, if you love your mate....get away fromo that particular situation...
Ray
looking for a fun gal - dating more - "any ideas are greatly appreciated"
Ok....
I have a lot of lady friends that are very open minded but they would never be found on a swingers website and would not be interested in swinging.
If you are just looking for a "cool chick to hang with" and are not looking for a single female swinger I'd say check out the regular dating sites.
If I suddenly became single you would NOT find me here....I'd look for a regular relationship FIRST....
Amusing Story about bad planning - Notice nobody asked the swinger\'s opinions - Oh, that was too funny. Horrid that it had to happen, but funny. And I agree, no one asked the \"swingers\" their opinion. Plus it stand to reason, 1st one to book holds seniority. If the swingers booked 1st, they had all the right to do what they wanted as long as it was within the confines of the law.
Denial - What is the proper way to turn someone down. - Your worrying about it too much. Hope this doesn't offend, but really you are over thinking it. I'd just do what you want to do and not worry about what everyone feels or thinks. The only thing you SHOULD do if you don't want to get a lot of emails telling you how stuck up you are, is just be NICE.
Being NICE is actually pretty hard for some people and I still don't understand why. As for answering the mountains of board mails you will get on this site, Don't stress it. We used to think we should respond to every email and I'll tell you right now, it's impossible. We made a rule really early and that was that your friend request would only be approved if we did in fact know you personally, or if the one asking had made some effort to get to know us in a Chat room, or by email.
One thing though that I would advise you as newbies on this site. If you allow your "sexual preferences" to dictate who and if you will meet someone in the lifestyle, then you are going to miss out on it's rich experience. Not everyone you meet that you may develop of friendship with is going to want to fuck you. So I'd not worry about meeting new people, even if they are asking to be your friend online. The key is always controlling how you'll meet people (which is easy) and then letting things take their course.
As for the "old" factor. You both are going to be really disappointed then with the "No one over 35" rule. The average age for Swingers in the United States is 35-45. Your wife is fairly young, she feels funny about guys my age being her Dad's age, well the feeling is mutual. Contrary to what some women might think, it's not all about the tight ass and perky boobs. But as for a friendship (non-sexual) why the hell not?
If your patient, friendly, and get out there and meet other swingers (like the parties), I think you'll find what you are looking for in sexual partners. I also think in some cases newbies are pretty "fixed" on what they think they want sexually. But after 4 years you may notice that what you "thought was ideal" is no longer the case. Keeping an open mind is pretty important in anything in life and it's not a bad idea in regards to swinging as well.
Good luck to you guys
Mr ABC
Hot discussion - Hook up section? - [quote=OSTAR21]Swinger is a Swinger is a Swinger, Single married, committed, non-committed. What the fuck does it matter to you. The lifestyle was here long before Lookingforfun369 (creative name) were on here. You are the newbies and should show a little respect for others, whether you are into them or not. [/quote]
Actually, single "swingers" are a relatively new concept. When my wife and I first started swinging (the late 80's!) there weren't ANY singles in the lifestyle. In fact, it was several years, at least, into the lifestyle before we saw an ad (that's how swingers connected back then, thru ads in cheap magazines sold in porn shops) from a single male. We vividly remember someone passing the ad around at a swing party and everyone marveling at it and wondering out loud how he could enter the wife-swapping scene (that's what many still called it back then) without a partner of some sort.
Yes, the definition of swinger has changed or perhaps evolved is a better word. But there would BE no lifestyle, no swinging, if it wasn't for married, or at least committed couples, opening up their relationship to other people. Swingular would just be an AFF or a Tinder if it wasn't for couples. You might want to consider not getting quite so butthurt and taking your own advice about "show(ing) a little respect". Trust me, the single males who actually ARE successful here are those who do exactly that. If you don't believe me just ask around.
ha just horny...How bout you? - yep horny still haha - [quote=UtSkier]i think we are all always horny maybe that is why we are swingers. plus i love loads on my boobs[/quote]
I'd love to leave a load there😉
Labor Day Weekend - - [quote=WITH_A_WHISPER]Oh someone told me it was basically a swing club.... Not the case?
[/quote]
nope. not a swing club. its not any louder/pricier than the majority of clubs. only quieter spots are typically the smaller type bars. it used to be that a ton of swingers attended regularly but its never been "bascially a swingers club".
Skicouple - Going beyond flirt with delicious vanilla - I (female) have a very flirtatious relationship with my chiropractor. Sometimes I wonder if he and his wife are also in the lifestyle, because his flirting is so "forward". I know enough about his wife to say that my husband would love to play with her.
Would love to see some suggestions on how to approach the subject of asking him if he and his wife are swingers. I certainly do not want to make the guy think that I am suggesting an affair or a random fuck...
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Attraction is just that... attraction. Age is just one of many factors that has the ability to blow my skirt up :) I think society gets a little hung up on it. I was out and about recently with a much younger guy and the looks I got ranged from amused to downright pissed off. I was actually a bit shocked that people even cared.
My issue with seeing much younger men is that their range of experience is limited. Now I'm not just talking sexually, but life experiences. So when you crawl out from under the sheets, what do you have to talk about? That is an issue. I enjoy conversation, debate and people who actually 'get it', yanno? In bed.. well they are typically sexual dynamos..woo hoo!
Older men...well they have their issues too. I find that a few have had difficulty with relationship/play/dating/romance stuff. Their heads are stuck in good girl/bad girl issues and so I either get treated like a total slut/whore or a princess. It's strange. Skill level here can be amazing and while they typically don't have the dynamo factor, they have stamina and MAD skills... woo hoo!
Women are great at any age. I find I always have something to talk about with them. Sexually speaking... well, women speak a very similar language and most are sexually intuitive. Even those that have limited bi experience... woo hoo!
That about covers everyone... LoL... :) Happy play to you all!
Te
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