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Single Men Meeting Couples - Are Single Men Treated Un Fairly In The Lifestyle - In an earlier response someone wrote:
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*** Short & Sweet: In our opinion, we don't view single men in the swinging lifestyle as swingers - more like single men wanting to have easy sex (most of them anyway) with someone else's wife. They bring nothing to the "table" that another man "within a couple" could bring. ***
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What anyone brings to the table in the lifestlye is highly subjective; it would greatly depend on what you were looking for in the first place wouldnt it?
While we have met quite a few single men who were lying assholes, we have also met as many who were complete gentleman who earned our respect and trust.
As for having "easy" sex with someone else's wife...well, it shouldnt be all that easy should it? That is, unless we as couples are as indiscriminate as the single men are about with whom we have sexual relations.
What is the proverbial "table" anyway? What you bring to the "table" is YOU, or yourselves if you are a couple. What you have to offer can only be valued by those who would recognize and appreciate your contribution.
It isn't a swap meet. (My wife for your wife.) That is a classic misconception about who we are and what we do as lifestylers. During the "key " parties of the 70's this was the general attitude, but those days are gone. We are a much more sophisticated breed now, who have exprienced a sexual evolution unlike anything our parents could have imagined, thanks to the addition of the internet and sites like this one.
There are GAY swinging couples comprised of 2 MEN. We have no desire to date them, but we do not disagree with their right to participate....Are they swingers? Absolutely! Why not? They seek what we do for all of the same reasons. Who are we to determine their place, or value in the lifestyle?
A lot of couples take a very narrow view on this subject, which to me is very sad.
I am here to tell you that the word "swinger" is absolutely NOT synonymous with the phrase "wife swapper". That archaic, stupid phrase only hurts us as lifestylers, and is not truly representative of who we are, and what we do. "Threesome" does not ONLY imply 2 women and a man. We come in all flavors, with varying desires and fantasies to fullfill.
Many times (and we have seen this too many times to count in the last 13 years swinging) it is the MAN of the COUPLE who is too insecure to allow HIS wife to be with another man, 3some or couple! So they only date single women... or attempt to atleast. LoL. I am not saying that this is true for everyone. But I have seen it too many times to count. The hypocrisy is staggering.
Everyone makes choices, and we are all free to make them. We do not judge those who choose to only date couples. YES, there are single male assholes in the world. The fact that they are single does NOT make them a health risk. Swinging COUPLES have far more sex than ANY of the single men I know! Most of the COUPLES we know have done things in the clubs that these poor guys can only jerk off too in their dreams, with far far more regularity.
A well dressed, well mannered, MATURE, professional male who is not cheating on his spouse, looking to attempt cause trouble in someone's marriage, and wants to have a great time with an honest couple is out there. We have met scores of them! Police officers, doctors, lawyers, business professionals....you cant sell me that they are all midnight "corner store" Johns looking for a cheap sexual fix with any pussy that comes along. Geesh, guys have standards too. I have FAR MORE sex than ANY single man I know! And so do the rest of you couples! Unless ofcourse they are college kids, and then....come on! What wild and crazy college aged 22 year old man ISNT looking for pussy in bars and strip clubs? Is THAT who you would swing with anyway?
If there were as many single women swinging as single men, there would be quite a few single WOMEN assholes out there too. We live right next to The University of Maryland, so I employ some of the biggest hookers I have seen anywhere, anytime.
I say, pick through the weeds, be selective about with whom you have sex (shouldn't we anyway?), and let the chips fall where they may.
Thats what the lifestyle is all about.
Just my $1.25...
Luvbugs! (mR.) ;)
Symbol Question - -
WEFLY,
Not a guru, just takin a guess. Amy could be correct in that it maybe referencing swingers. LOL. I was going for the literal approach.
-Don-
Proud member of
what the f#%@ was he thinking? - swingers still deserve respect - We all receive letters from these morons who lurk behind a keyboard and say things they would never say in public. We have heard worse things from guys than that even. I won't go there with it. Just ignore them. We don't blame all single guys, we know there is that type out there.
Do you agree, that some times it\'s ok to swing with a solo marr - - well as a married man who is incouraged to fine some single woman or couple that I can have fun with more so single woman by her choice(wife) I try to make it very clear I am not a cheater most still don\'t believe this I even say that to show I am telling the truth I\'ll let you ask her yourself as we are swingers for real as couple or play solo but it is so much easier for women to find play toys she feels that I am being short changed on our solo play but it seems no matter how it is said most still believe it\'s B.S. how would you beable to convince swingers it\'s the truth?
Bi-Sexuality - A question for the girls of swingular - So it's a BENCH of single males and what, a swarm of swingers? "Mayhem" sounds WAY more descriptive, by the way, from everything you've told me. [em]Emo_49[/em]
Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - [quote=TIFFND]I don't think it is dying out, by any means. My opinion is a few things are happening.
The Swingular community is actually growing...bigtime. Hence the increasing number of events being posted. And yes..most are paid events...for a couple of reasons..to actually pay for the cost of an event..and plain old capitolism. Welcome to America. No real problem.
House parties...are alive and well. But...because of the increased number of folks here, things have changed from before. Now, if you post one here..you have a bunch of people respond..most likely too many...some must be told no....hard for most of us to do. Consequently..hosts have become a bit more selective.. and send personal invites..rather than general announcements. Basically...house parties have moved underground. And hosts have become more selective about just inviting particulair age groups, or body types. That leaves many of us out. I know our email box is empty most of the time, unless it is us hosting the party.
Just my opinion of course..yours maybe different!
I think you are right on...we have learned to be very comfortable with the friends we have, and really don't worry about parties that we are or are not invited to...or none at all...I mean the hottest chick on the planet is Ms Karma so...why worry!
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Swingers Party - Doesnt mean who ever is there is open to everyone elsa - THATS RIGHT ..YOU JUST WATCH WHERE YOU RIDE.
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - [quote=TMACA]The thing is, even though people in the vanilla world may know about something like black rings on the right hand, they probably won't notice it, especially with all the people wearing multiple rings nowadays. Most people just aren't all that observant. On the other hand, swingers who know about it will probably look for them. And if someone who doesn't also have one on asks you what's with the black ring, you can just say,"I like it." And if they then say "Did you know that it can mean ....?", you can say something like "Why do you think that?", or "Where'd you hear that?", which can lead to them saying they swing, or let you get out of the conversation without admitting anything yourself.~ Terry[/quote]
That may be true up to a point but think about what other cues you see when you see an attractive couple and wonder if they're swingers. Dress a little sexier than normal, act a little flirtier or maybe dance a little dirtier (if they're at a club), are constantly looking around checking out other people. That doesn't happen in the vanilla world. Most guys would at very least get an elbow to the gut if their lady caught them openly checking out an attractive girl. In swinging, the lady will often check out the attractive girl right along with her husband. I still think that the majority of swingers wouldn't wear the rings even if they became "a thing". As someone mentioned this isn't a new concept. People have been talking about ways to make it easier to identify other swingers when out and about almost since the day we started swinging decades ago. On another swing site we're on they even made a mobile app that people could put on their smart phones that would alert them if another swinger was nearby and also had the app turned on. If the app showed (by GPS) another swinger near you you could send them a text. It was a colossal failure to say the least. I know there are definitely a small percentage of swingers who would wear black rings and/or use an app but the majority would likely not due to fear of discovery. Why do you think many or most profiles have face pics only in the locked sections and mention discretion so ubiquitously? Especially here in Utah where the prevailing religion has such strict morality codes, many people would rightly be afraid of losing their jobs and social standing if discovered. JMO
Exclusive FWB??? - - [quote=SwingNHit]Just as an observation, it seems to us that many (if not most) couples on this site are looking for exclusive friends with benefits. To us, that sounds like polyamorous dating, not swinging. No judgment whatsoever, hopefully everyone finds what they are looking for. We are simply surprised at how few couples actually want to swing - that is, have sex with lots of different couples. (Please spare the "labels" comments.) Again, no judgment, but I guess we are "swingers." Oh God, we finally said it! Hahaha! Everyone, we hope you each get what you are looking for![/quote]
Well said. It is difficult to find good matches. Let alone four perfect ones. Often we are presently surprised when we meet new friends that we were skeptical about at first. In talking with others, the term exclusive seems to be a hurdle to jump as most want to be free to do who, what and went they want.
Just looking for other couples happy with super soft and no swap - There must be more of us out there? - Im getting so confused. Seems there are so many rules and borders. I was in a room w a soft swap couple and the attitude was rude and didnt even want anyone watching and had the doors closed alone, now Im sorry but why would you go to a swingers club to have sex in a room alone and doors closed, how stupid. Been turned off to "soft swap" ever since. I respect everyone's bag but if you dont respect others, you'r not gonna get it back . Im very glad Im in the vegas swingers scene and not utah anymore.....and BTW any old couples I used to swing w....Mike will be in Vegas soon! lol
