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When You're Shopping the Scene... - - Yeah, it'd be kinda cool if there actually WAS some kind of universal accessory or a signal that swingers could use to ID each other out in the vanilla world. And many have tried over the years but nothing has ever really caught on (back in the day, more than a few women wore necklaces of an apple with a bite out of it). And even if something DID actually catch on, and people wore it or whatever to identify other swingers, how long do you think it would take for the internet to make that fairly common knowledge?
We went to a swinger's convention in San Diego a number of years ago. The group had taken over the entire hotel and property and nobody was allowed in without a special wristband. It took about 4 hours for most of the hotel staff to learn what those wristbands meant. By the next day, people at nearby hotels, restaurants, and shopping centers had heard the news and as you passed people they would glance at you and then immediately glance down at your wrist. By that evening, most of the swingers were becoming so self-conscious that they were attempting to hide the wristbands beneath watches and bracelets. A few even pulled them off their wrists, if they were loose enough, and then put them back on when re-entering the property.
So, as nice as it would be to know for sure who other swingers are, it would kinda defeat the purpose of what many of us state in our profiles...that we're discreet. I suspect that about 10% (if even) would wear a black ring and about 90% wouldn't for fear of being outed as swingers. YMMV
Professionals - - Some of our best friends work in retail and construction trades. Some are "professionals." But it IS relevant to how we interract and what everyone's expectations and comfort levels are.
If we were construction workers or farmers (for example), we wouldn't give a rat's ass who knew we were swingers. But our livelihoods could and would be dramatically impacted if it became common knowledge that we are swingers. This means a few things are done differently than they would be otherwise:
1. No public face pics.
2. No public names or detailed descriptions.
3. "You show us yours...we'll show you ours" policy with locals.
4. 99.9% "no locals" play policy.
5. When we do entertain locally, it must be discreet. If we go to a public place, there is no cross-couple PDA.
If it were not for our status in the community as "professionals" being a matter of eating and living indoors for us, we wouldn' have ANY of these guidelines. We know couples who have met couples publicly who are NOT "professionals" who simply could not respect their boundaries and risked their reputations (thus livelihoods) with inappropriate behavior even after being asked not to. It freaking happens! And it is one of the gravest forms of disrespect/disregard for someone to do this. You think I'm gonna walk into the convenience store where your wife works and stick my tongue down her throat in front of her boss? NOT! And it's the same thing for us when couples disrespect our discretion boundaries. It could force us into bankruptcy.
If you have a problem with that and think we're snobs because of it, screw you! Please don't contact us. :@
Rather than say all that in a profile, we tend to just play nice and say "we're an attractive professional couple..." ;)
International Swingers Day - How are you celebrating? - We left some Jager and condoms out for the god Eros and then had the fam over for a big celebration.
[img]https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kWnrYWNYmos/WNTUz2ePvvI/AAAAAAAACUs/duO0GaSF3AgCa89Hro5VVPXIGxzrVilMgCLcB/s1600/Big%2BTeen%2BOrgy.gif[/img]
What really defines a TRUE swinger? - - [quote=INVITESOME]We never have viewed single males as swingers. To to us and most of our swinging couple friends single males are cheap sex toys you carefully pick from, use them on rare occasions and then return them and forget them. Sounds harsh but the great thing is that is exactly what the majority of single males that we have all met like. We have only met a couple single males out of hundreds that have broken the mold and surprised us. [/quote]
For the record at least our experience we have met far more
couples where one or the other of them is just plain weird than
singles. In fact we almost prefer singles over couples for that
reason. Either way life is too short for bashing fellow Lifestylers.
People should take their bad attitudes & imagined desirability somewhere
else!
Search abilities for international swingers. - Just a suggestion. - Hi.
When searching you can only search for a US state. How can we find international couples???
Bea and Alex from The Netherlands
Vegas! - - [quote=titforatat]We went to Whispers in December. It was amazing. We thinks it’s the best swingers place in Vegas.[/quote]
In our humble opinion, it is without question,the best swingers club in Vegas. Since we live in Vegas, we have had opportunities to check out a few.
Younger couples - How hard is it for younger couples - [quote=BR3RD]Who wouldn’t be attracted to younger couples? It’s usually the younger couples who are not attracted to the older ones.[/quote]
True that! If a young couple feels some frustration now, just wait until they reach our age. It will be even more frustrating. But hang in there young swingers. Your best days are still ahead of you.
seniors - why is it so difficult to find senior swingers or single ladies? - ON a serious note ...... We are definitely seniors... OH and our pics are pretty recent... with in 2 years.... B is 54 and a body that could be on a 30 yr old and I am in my X0's and I don't think I look my age.. At the clubs that we go to, B is called the Energizer bunny because she dances all night long and is known for danciong on the table and strips to Zip... I n the other hand am not so lucky... but Have very little trouble with the ladies.... I have 2 girl friends on eless than 40 and another in her 40's. I'm not as good as I once was but...... I'm as good once as I ever was ...well not quite...but my dad used to say..." when you get too old to cut the mustard, you're never too old to lick the jar it came in and besides The ladies consider me a real gentleman, I've been told that I "kiss good" and I'm not in a hurry and respect the journey.... So it may be about attitude and humor and caring and how one presents one's self.We get hits on several sites still from people 40 and up ...so age doesn't seem to be a deterant.... but I can understand how it might be...Hope you have better luck from now on.... take care...
PS... If more people put pics n with a smiling face on here they would probably get more hits.. A smile opens the viewer to the soul of the person in the pic... A frown or a blank face also open the soul but that opeing is not always something wanted..
Swingers Party - Doesnt mean who ever is there is open to everyone elsa - first and foremost, boundaries must always be respected and no one ever has the right to do things to another person without their permission.
however, i also acknowledge that at a party where the intention/perception that playing will or is occurring can create some areas of "unknown". it is important to find out what is ok and when it is ok. for some, that means french kissing within the first few minutes, others may not. i have seen different ways that people have tried to find out. the simplest and most direct is to ask. however, i have seen people do so by "testing the waters" - small hug, then a bigger one, then a peck, then a lingering kiss, then french kiss, etc. and at each step trying to "read" the body language of the other.
and i have seen that some people have become so "desensitized" to some of these things that their starting point is further on the scale than others. i dont have a problem with someone trying to open-mouth kiss my wife (even if they have only met for 2 minutes - which she has done with some guys and girls that she was immediately attracted to). i have a problem if they try, she tells them "no", and then they try again. but we go to these parties with the mindset that if there is a mutual interest of the involved parties, then sex is a likely outcome for the evening (unless the party is a "meet-n-greet"). and for us, open-mouth kisses are part of foreplay with our partners. we have even had some parties that we have just "made-out" with some without engaging in sex.
ultimately, it is important to find the common ground of what is acceptable for those involved and being respectful of that. it is also important to politely inform someone when they have crossed a boundary. it is unfair of us to expect that others implicitly know all of our boundaries.
Las Vegas - Fun - [quote=just4funxxx11]Thanks for all the comments. WE are actually leaving saturday lunchtime so it's thursday or friday play for us[/quote]
Check out Swingers Circle for Thursday night
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