Parker City Swingers in Indiana

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Adulter or Swinger? - - Well, I struggled in the begininng of our journey into this lifestyle with my values and whether this was right or not. I grew up in such a staunch religious family as most ppl in Utah do (GRIN). I didnt feel as though I was a "cheater" because my husband obviously knows and participates, I also didnt consider myself an "adulter" for the same reasons....we just consider ourselves to be "swingers" hehe straight up, bottom line, we are swingers. Is it right to do so when you are married or single for that matter?? I dont know, I think it is an individual decision and how you feel about it or about yourself. I know ppl outside of this circle of swingers would most likely turn their nose up to how we live or rather how we spend some of our spare time. Especially living here in Utah, and in a very tight nit, religious town where there is a church on every corner, and a bishop on every street it seems. However, this is how Mr. Stitch and I feel about it. We are not cheaters, or adulters (maybe by definition but not in our personal dictionary) we are occasional SWINGERS. Some call it a lifestyle....for some it may be. For us we dont consider it a lifestyle only because it isnt a way of life for us. We dont make it something that we live to do by planning our lives around the LIfestyle Conventions, or other parties, or vacation sites (not saying that any of you do make it your whole life, cuz I know most do not). We dont do it every weekend. This swinging stuff is something we do occassionally. We are more in this type of thing to meet open minded awesome couples that we can hang out with and things of a sexual nature are welcome, but it isnt something that we expect everytime we get together. This is why we dont consider it our lifestyle rather just a recreational hobby that we SOMETIMES do. We dont feel that it is a moral issue/problem because we do it together, we have a great time, it has made our relationship tighter. We have discovered a better appreciation for each other, and our love for one another has grown. We are more confident in our sexual desires (especially me, Mrs Stitch) and it has made us better lovers. We communicate more openly, and as odd as it may seem it just overall has made our relationship improve. Now that may bring up a whole other arguement upon some of you, but I know that we are not the only couple that has experienced this new found love,appreciation, and confidence in your relationships. Back to my point......we feel that unless or until all this recreational swinging that we do ...makes a negative impact on our love/relationship or until it causes problems between the two of us then we will rethink our decision to do such things. Some of the outside ppl may ask...."well, why would you put your relationship out there for there to be problems....doesnt this open up the door for problems" My answer to that is....."Absolutely!, it does open up that door for inviting feelings, problems, desires...etc, but only if you let the door open" You have to communicate every feeling, desire, problems...etc. we make this about EACH OTHER...he doesnt make it just about him, or I dont make it just about me. We always do things together it is decisions we make together with what we do, and how we do it and until it does cause problems that we cant handle then we are going to keep on swingen without remorse or guilt of whether or not we are adulters/cheaters.... How dare the neighbors down the street or the single female friend who sleeps with everyone judge us for having openness in our relationship....it is something we do together, and when we decide to quit we will quit together. Lets be honest, we are all humans with sexual needs/desires and married or not you still have them. At least we can share those desires and needs together and experience those things together....therefore never leading us to cheat, or be an adulter.....not that we ever would anyways, but we may have thought about it ,which in my mind is just as bad!!!!!

Single Males - - [quote=CTA313][quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut. [/quote] Yes, I agree, "finesse" was a poor choice of words. In my defense, I was at work and rather in a hurry to make a point...that apparently I didn't make well (and my attempts to also be humorous apparently fell flat too). Rereading my post it does smack a little of mild gender bias but I can assure you that it wasn't my intent in any way and most certainly is not my outlook on women, relationships or life in general. My intent was simply to advocate approaching swinging as a mutually desirable activity that two partners desire and share equally in. And not that it matters, but I've shared my wife with probably over a hundred men, married and single, and I've never thought of any of them as competition. But I never thought of swinging as "sharing" my wife either, but instead as her deciding to be sexual with another person and me being totally okay with her decision to do so. Sharing her, to me, almost denotes some sort of ownership or at very least some kind of permission that I would have to give. Both those ideas are not a part of our relationship. Perhaps the concept of "competition" in swinging interactions is a single male attitude? I don't know. And I didn't mean it in any way, shape, or form as a "you must suffer as I did" trope but simply as the idea that we invested a LOT of hard work and time making our marriage what it is and together deciding to risk opening it up to the excitement and also the possibility of harm that is swinging. I think, perhaps, that sometimes single people in the lifestyle don't quite understand the very real possibility of permanent damage (or worse) to the relationship that couples who swing are flirting with. For many (most?) of us, our marriages/relationships are THE most precious thing we have. What, if anything, are you risking? A bruised ego?

Picky Picky - No not your nose - I'm picky, like probably a little bit unrealistically so. I figure I have the man of my dreams who is hung, smart, fun, charismatic and attractive. I shouldn't settle for less then total attraction. This should be true for all. I realize I'm a old hand at this, been in and out (ha) of the lifestyle since 2011, and I've basically done all the things, but if you're with your perfect partner then my understanding is swinging is an enhancement to your sex life. Never settle for less (old swinger advice for the newer swingers) just to have a new partner/experience/taking one for the team. What are your thoughts?

Meeting new swingers? - Where to meet them? - we are very friendly people . we say hi to everybody we see out and about . yes we meet alot of people at parties , but we also meet alot of people just doing everyday life things . going and picking up the pizza and having a hottie at the counter . ill give them my email add. standing in line in a store . hey WHY NOT WALMART . ?????/ wal mart is the store for everthing . i spend alot of time in walmart . i dress up pretty and go shop and just talk to people all over that store . now they made one with a supercenter also . so now i get ot make my nipples hard and tease...... ha ha iam a swinger 24 -7 . i think the best way to see people for who they really are is to meet them out and about . at the club they are going to be dressed nice . and on their best behavior . at work they are going to be prof. but in everyday life they are them . and thats the easiest way to really get to know them . the woman in a pair of jeans and a tank top and tennis shoes turns me on a lot more then everybody in a club all dressed sexy . u know why cause something about her made me stop and look . and that just narowed it all down for me . so i will go up and say hi . and talk a bit and if we click then i will give them my email add. and tell them i would love to get to know them better . and its not about sex . cause i play with very few people . but when u click with someone its so cool and it feels right . hell we had a single mom talking and hitting on us when we went trick or treating ..... their is people all over . spend life with the ones that are fun and u click with . all u have to do is say hi . and u might meet a new friend . to me that makes it alot easier then to try to meet someone at a party or on line . all u have is a profile that hopefully they got to write out and it wasnt one of those stupid 3 answers to a question . and then u have to hope they answered it honestly . which by the way some dont . and some change stuff and then forget to tell u about it . or post about it . and then u have try to see if someone u picked from a few pics and a profile clicks with u . thats very stressful to me . i would rather pass out my number all over walmart and hope for the best . ha ha ha ha naughty dreams freaky kitty

Forum disagreements and swinging (was Something for Lefty) - - You know what??? I thought this was a swingers forum. A place to meet people and make friends. What on earth are you doing bringing war and politics in here? Politics is just like religion. Everyone has their own thoughts and beliefs and it's their right to. My thoughts and opinions are that this forum is no place to discuss either. Seems that some start these kinds of threads just to start heated and argumentitive discussion. Also by the persistance i see, they also like to hear themselves talk. Well why don't you take it to a political forum and give us a break. We'd like to read about things here that bring about a little sunshine in our lives. Your precious Mr. Bush hasn't done that since day one.....war or no war.

Hood Piercing 911. I need advice.......... - - "In case you haven't been told this, you really come off sounding like a Darwin Reject Prick. Get over yourself. Stop questioning why SWINGERS allow the female half to have sex with other men" I get the swingers way I just didn't see why separate rooms were aa BIG thing. As far as the rest, it was only a question why so defensive sounds like YOU'Re the one with some issue's to work through. I have Plenty of swinger friends.

Do your friends and family know about your lifestyle? - - Its funny that this post came out, I was swimming laps last night at the pool in town, and the lifeguard came up to me and started telling me how she heard there was a swingers community in Blackfoot, and how what a wild town its becoming.

Odd pattern. - Why the interest/disinterest? - I'm not surprised to see mentions of homophobia and haste in filling out the profile as possible reasons; I hadn't thought of the male ego being so driven as to ignore disinterest from gay women. Yet that ego can't be reasoned w/ when the interested person's equipment matches the imagined ideal but the original birth certificate does not, even when reproduction is not on the table. As Terry pointed out above, every blastocyst starts out female and slightly less than half mutate into males as they become fetuses. AHARLEYCPL, not only is hate mail unwarranted, I'm personally pleased this discussion, for all its potential thorns, hasn't disintegrated into discriminatory ugliness like it would on some sites where the membership is more mainstream; I think it's b/c swingers already think outside the societal norms when it comes to expressing sexuality and have more of a 'live and let live if no one gets hurt' mentality. Being a swinger isn't about thoughtless sex, it's about even more thoughtful sex and this discussion shows that. :)

Young swingers party - sold out, who still wants to party ? - It's funny how it says young swingers party for those under 45. Such a percentage of the peeps who RSVP'd are over that, or are lying.

Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - Maybe in our wildest fantasy. [em]Emo_4[/em]