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Why swingers are happier. - - That just spoke of sex, not swinging
Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
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MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
What is up with Utah?! - Swingers in Utah and nowhere else? - We too noticed that the majority of the members are here in the Beehive State. It's really cool that they are, but it was kind of weird at first. "This can't be right, they have to be lying. There is no way there are that many in Utah." We thought it was a huge, and elaborate scam for the first twenty minutes. LOL
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - We would love to join the right couples. Mosstly for like minded friendship, but in regards to sex...
Everyone has their thing, no offense to those who want condoms, but he finds them to be a turn off. He is too analytical, lol: if you kiss, do oral with your tongue, then fluids are exchanging! With birth control, vasectomy, etc... why use condoms? She also likes the idea of a guy loosing all control and not able to avoid cumming in her pussy.
Ergo: tested and would love to find other couples who are safe, clean, D&D free, tested and can be regulars wihout too much worry.
What sets you apart from other swingers - Lets see whos looking for what. - Maybe it is the fact that I am single?! :z
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - 30m, currently single but with unicorn and couple friends I do things with. When there isn't a pandemic going on I usually host a monthly-ish naughty game night for our core group plus anybody we find who wants to join us. Group is usually mid-twenties to mid-thirties age-wise, with a leaning towards dancers and nerds. Let me know if you want an invite down the road :)
Swingers - a couples only lifestyle? - Are singles considered to be swingers? - We also said in our post LUSTYTWO4U:
"It'll be interesting to hear what others have to say."
And you're right - we did say "to us" - we didn't say everyone had to agree. Everyone is entitled to their ideas about the lifestyle - as we are.
Friends with out benefits? - Is it possible to find friends on here who dont want to fuck? - Actually this isn't that uncommon. We've been in the scene for a long time and have seen a lot of couples leave and then try to return and hang around the scene without actively participating because they like the thrill and excitement as well as hanging out with people who don't have a lot of hang ups and they don't have to censor themselves around. Unfortunately, in our experience, it hasn't seemed to work out too well in the long run. Not sure why, exactly. Maybe the real swingers don't want to hang out with people they can't potentially fuck or maybe the former swingers (or at least one of the couple) gets excited again and tempted to want to swing again or maybe it's some different reason altogether. Wish I could tell you how someone has made it work but it just doesn't seem sustainable. It's kind of like a motorcycle group I belong to. There was a guy who would show up at all of our meetings, hang out, talk about bikes, etc., but he didn't actually ride or even own a bike. Finally he stopped showing up because he found it harder and harder to engage the other guys in the group who actually ride. If you figure out a way to do it let me know. We still know a few couples who would love to hang out with swingers without actually swinging.
Another Swingers Show on TV - - Sounds like we all missed the fun. The show was fine, but not as much fun as the real thing. Hope to see you guys soon.
Charlie & Kathi
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - Thanks for your replies! Tori & Tan
So far here's the totals:
Scorpio 9
Cancer 7
Sagittarius 4
Aries 4
Pisces 4
Gemini 3
Capricorn 3
Aquarius 3
Virgo 2
Libra 2
Taurus 2
Leo 1
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