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Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
Vegas next weekend - Clubs - Our favorite is Whispers. We've had a lot of fun at Swingers Party Club too! It's just around the corner from Whispers.
Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - Try going into a Claire’s and not laugh at all the unicorn stuff!
3 some!! - Just curious - So based on the fact that it's a swingers site.... Most of us to some degree. However the variations on the theme of m
western slope colorado swingers - trying to find fellow swingers - We moved here to colorado in nov of 2013 and have not met many in the lifestyle there is not many members in this area so we are wondering if anyone knows where they are all hiding it seems Craigslist is a popular place that people post personal's but there seems to be only flakes and would be potential pic collectors so any help here for the western slope would be great
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Given swingers seem to be very opened minded people, we are wondering how age is viewed. Do the 30 somethings stick with the 30 somethings, etc.
Your thoughts are appreviated.
Disabled Swingers - - We have actually encountered a somewhat local couple who we really like, and she is in a wheelchair. I'm ashamed to say that we have not become very close, other than being friendly at parties as we're unsure of what is expected and what her "disability" is. Personally, I think it would be much easier to "approach" an obviously "disabled" person/couple if there was some sort of specified background on the disability and its limitations and requirements for that person- sexually speaking.... (Perhaps a basic run-thru in your profile?)
I know that several people suffer from different "ailments" that can sometimes be frustrating to potential sex partners. I myself (female half) have rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and severe colitis - none of which have responded well (if at all) to treatment. These seemingly small (compared to being in a wheelchair) ailments can have a big impact on my sex life! I cannot always be trusted to show up at a party, and when I CAN, I'm often hurting so bad that "playing" is out of the question. When I DO play, I tire more quickly than I'd like, and certain positions are out of the question. Often, meeting for dinner is uncomfortable with the digestive "issues" that follow eating... etc. etc. So when we become friendly enough with people we might be interested in playing with, I have to be up-front and let them know what they're dealing with... even tho my problems may sound trivial, they're not to me, and they can and DO end up affecting my sexual performance and my social life, or lack thereof!
I don't like to say much, because to me it sounds like "whining" and the last thing I want to be is a whiner! However, we all need to realize that everyone has their own problems, obstacles, issues, etc and when we know what we're looking at, we can decide if it's going to be worth the effort to try and establish a sexual relationship. If people are aware of what you CAN do, they may be more willing to become involved. And if they're not willing to work with you and understand that you've got some limitations, but that you've still got alot going for you.. then you're probably better off without them. I hope that helps... And the very best of luck to you both! Hugz!
Site Weirdness - A thousand less members online than usual? - There's typically 1600-2000 members online when I login at any given time; but there's less than 600 online today. The layout appears to have changed slightly as well, (Log Out button moved for example) though no functionality updates I can find.
Has there been a swinger apocalypse? A Rapture in which more swingers were caught up than one would cynically imagine?
Verified Real VS Not - How trusting are you in non-verified accounts? - [quote=EVILDOERS]
Look for the union label
when you are buying that coat, dress or blouse.
Remember somewhere our union's sewing,
our wages going to feed the kids, and run the house.
We work hard, but who's complaining?
Thanks to the I.L.G. we're paying our way!
So always look for the union label,
it says we're able to make it in the U.S.A.!
Join Swingers Union Local 6969 today![/quote] Do we have to Verified to join?
Policing Ourselves - Can it be done? - policing should be easy the same rules(laws) apply just because my wife and I have decided to have sex with other peopole does not mean we are open game for any thing to go on.if a person recives an unwanted grope the person groping is still guilty of sexual battery,and if i am not mistaken a felony in most if not all states.ask first,no is no.oh by the way i volonteer to be the swingers policeman.
Phil
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