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Why do they run? - Why do most couples run when you suggest a real full swap? - I am certain that insecurity has no bearing on the decisions that we make in regard to the lifestyle. What you are suggesting simply isnt for us. We take so much from being in close proximity to each other during our encounters that it would render the experience...perhaps ackward or fruitless, for lack of a better term.
There is a reason that so many couples run from the possibility of what you call \"full swap\". Many years ago when we were first introduced to the lifestyle, \"full swap\" entailed having sexual intercourse with another couple. \"Soft swap\" meant oral play or touching only, no intercourse. Perhaps the deffinition has changed over the years...
I am certain that what you are describing is closer to what traditional polyamory is all about. In fact, there is a reason why the couples that you approach about this subject \"run like the wind\" as you call it. More times than not, it has proven to be destructive to the relationships in question. Best intentions or not, we are all human. Shit happens. Most seasoned swingers know this, and avoid this situation at all costs.
Most of the relationships that we have seen over the years that were as you describe ended in ruin. Most of the people that we have known to consider this method were (coincidentally) new swingers, who had not yet developed a sense of direction or an identity in the lifestyle. There are some mistakes that you can make in the lifestlye without jeopadizing your standing with your mate. There are some that you simply can not. What you are suggesting to other couples, while it may seem like something that would be fun and cool, has proven to be atleast problematic to many other people.
Just our .02 cents.
Best of luck to you both.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
:D
Mansion Massage Mixer reviews/info? - - Their ad. states "Single males must bring a date or be accompanied by a hosting couple". We've only been to one so we're going back tonite & see if our 1st impression was correct. #1 The Mansion is a super cool place, well worth visiting. #2 - seemed to be couples in the 30's - 40's. Not many of us "more mature" swingers there. #3 Didn't see much playing, a little in the hot tub, but the massages looked awesome! #4 We left about 12:00 so the party may have warmed up after we left.
Any Swingers out there? Golf swingers that is... - - Co~Ed Naked Golf! this is the ticket! And made famous by "O" who wrote in "The Sensuous Woman" that, "the special grass they use on golf greens felt so good under her bare skin..." Anybody plundered a golf green?
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - DP & Airtight...yes. DVP..hell no. Just dont want to touch another guy's dick.
Going on a Cruise - Not sure what to expect - Post your cruise date and ship to see if you match dates with other like minded peeps. Where your black rings and maybe throw an inside down pineapple shirt in your luggage. But mostly if you go to the bars swingers give off a certain vibe and if you feel that initiate a conversation. We have been on numerous all inclusive vacations and have found other like minded people. Happy hunting
Couples Copulating - How the hell do ya match up? - We must be very lucky I guess. We've only been around since April and we strictly play with couples or a group. Both the guy and gal need to be accepted by both of us, and yes it's a hard combo to find. Even in a group situation we need to feel ok with EVERYONE involved. So for us that has meant we go to A LOT of parties and put ourselves out there and meet people. Because of that we have had several foursomes and even a couple eightsomes, and some of those have been repeats too. As we have met people we've found that we're actually doing pretty good as new swingers because we've found that a lot of people who play with only couples don't get to play too often. So we say try to get out a little more. It's numbers, the more you're out then the more chances you'll find exactly the combo you're looking for. We haven't compromised ourselves yet (taken one for the team) and don't plan on it. Your combo is out there, just gotta keep looking. (Take this advice for what it's worth coming from the new guy...lol)
What are swingers really looking for ?Are they looking for frien - Has the happen to you. - mmmmmm yeah it could be cool. point do i really care i say what I want ill run on and on and on dont like it dont read it
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - Here is a link to a poll on The Swingers Board about what reader's zodiac signs are. The majority in this poll is Virgo.
http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/polls-never-ending-threads/7691-whats-your-sign.html
We're a Cancer (him) and an Aries (her).
I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - We have friends in both of those communities and dip in and out of both but don't actually consider either what we have or want.
Simply: Swinging is generally, ironically, too casual for us while also having way too many cultural rules (but we fucking love your parties), We also find that while we have fun with and enjoy the company of a lot of swingers, most are culturally pretty different from us. Polyamory, as people play it, is typically far too intense for us and that community also has a lot of cultural strictures and high expectations (but we've had great parties there, too, and have made really close friends, even though we're not into Star Wars 😜).
So we look for genuine friends, because that's how it started and that's how it's always been with us. We're as likely to go to coffee than get naked. And our lives are crazy busy, so we don't have a lot of time to give. But we each go out with someone probably once a week. That said, it's not necessarily the same person and actually getting together for a night out, rather than coffee or lunch, probably only happens twice a month each at most. Once a month is more common.
We don't really have rules. That's kind of antithetical to how our relationship works in general. Instead, we spend focused time with each other. We go to coffee together once a week. We go to lunch together once a week. And we go out together once a week. We plan that on Saturday over coffee or ok a run. We also talk constantly. We've always been completely open with each other. Having a mutually wanted and understood open relationship makes transparency easy for us. We also like to inevitably introduce anyone were seeing regularly to each other. We also don't pry at all but like to be sure the other person's spouse or primary partner is good and that they're relationship is healthy.
It sounds a lot like what people call polyamory except that it stays casual. For that reason, the other people need to realize that's all it will ever be. The flip side to that is making sure we only get involved with grounded and reliable people. We've been doing it long enough that we both have a whole set of friends we might go out with on and off. For us, regardless of their jobs, they're often artistic, musical, literary, dancers, etc..
WHAT ABOUT THE SINGLES - - I AM GATHER CONFUSED ABOUT THE FACT THAT IN SO MANY INVITES TO PARTYS THEY ONLY WANT COUPLES
WHAT ARE THE SINGLES TO DO
I AM A OLDER SINGLE MAN WHO FELLS THIS IS WRONG
I LIVE IN WASHINGTON STATE AND I CANT FIND ANY OTHER SINGLE SWINGERS
MY AGE OR YOUNGER
I UNDERSTAND COUPLES WANT COUPLES BUT WHY ARE THE SINGLES OUT IN THE COLD
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