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Policing Ourselves - Can it be done? - Policing ourselves, can it be done? NO!
Advice for a newbie, LOL! I would say "RUN, run away as fast as you can!"
Seriously the first thing I would say to a new person/couple is "What ever you think swinging is, its not."
I think that with each couple comes different rules, as well as with each different scenario. How can you have a set precedence with as many different types of people that are even on this site alone? Let alone in the lifestyle.
I have often wondered why swingers would even have rules, I think the lifestyle is about the moment and with each moment you should take it as it comes. But that's just my opinion.
To set ground rules is to invite anarchy. Why bother?, a person either has respect, or they don't period. For every rule you could come up with someone could justify breaking it.
My 2 cents.
~K~
advice for non-city locations? - What do you do when you live away from major cities? - HOTTPACPL370, damn all these crazy settings!
Actually, we haven\'t really used the internet for much at all. Instead we did the old fashioned method of going out to \"normal\" bars and meeting folks that way. It\'s a decent way to meet single women. We just figured trying the internet would be interesting since the folks on a site like this are already of a certain mind. At a normal bar you never know what you are going to meet or what their expectations are (like gals looking for a soul mate or husband or something). Of course, that can be part of the fun too! :D
Maybe there are fewer single gals on the site because they can more easily get what they are after? It seems that meeting them is easier done in person, but meeting couples would be easier here. I don\'t have a problem talking to a single girl about what I\'d like (neither of us do), but asking a couple if they are swingers seems like dangerous territory with some people, who could get really offended.
It\'s possible that we just don\'t know the couple dynamic very well, having only had singles (males or females) up till now. Maybe most folks wouldn\'t be annoyed or angry to be asked in person.
WHY DO WE GET STOOD UP? - - It seems to us that this site spawns wannabees.We have NEVER met anyone from this site.
We have been contacted by people as young as 19 years old who have said they are interested.OF COURSE THEY ARE NOT!!! Maybe they just want us to open our private pics for them.
We are serious swingers.We have met some great people and been to a few great parties.We have never been stood up but maybe that's because we havent tried to meet any of the game players from this site.
Swingers Vacation Spots - Help us - Our dream swingers vacation would have be in mexico,there are several resorts there that cater to the swinging lifestyle. They are all inclusive as well. We are planning a trip to hedo next yr and when I went to their site there was a schedule of times when it was swingers mostly. Sometimes travel agents know these things try calling one that isn't your reg agent if you are worried about them knowing you are in the lifestyle. Here in Fl we have one that caters to the lifestyle out of orlando if anyone wants to know how to contact them hit us up we will send their link.
Jimmy and Becky
Other activities? - Do you only meet swingers for sex? - Absolutely get together for more than sex. BBQ.. watch a movie... dance... One of our closest friends we met through a site over 2 years ago... We have still not played with them.. B and the fellow are not on the same wavelength. he would like to but is afraid that he will be too forward... He\'s just such a gentleman and B is not sure where he stands with her so she is not making any overtures to him either. His wife and I are on the same hot and wet page but we won\'t if they won\'t so we meet do things I cajole both of them and she and I sit and wait.... We have other friends that we go to diner with and rarely play.... So absolutely there are times to just do things and times to play.. A time for every season...as the song/verse goes.
Ray
Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - [quote=EVILDOERS]Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em] [/quote]
Damnit! Evildoers is right again!
Why swingers are happier. - - Ya, what they said!
MFM Threesome Etiquette - MFM Threesome Etiquette - In some circles the husband gets treated just like every other male in the group and in some they get special privileges. If it is something you worry about then discuss it first. A man may not be homophobic but that does not mean that he wants to suck your husband off either. So consider this, if both men ware condoms it removes a potential problem and the discussion is not necessary.
Remember that for many swingers it is not a matter of pregnancy or a matter of safe play but what we simply like or dislike. Etiquette is about how we interact with others and that interaction is not always logical, especially when it comes to sex.
It should be OK for anyone to politely say that something is out side their comfort zone without offending the others in a group setting.
There are things that can be done in a MFM that simply can not be done as a couple. If you want to have the best sex then you need to speak up and guide your BF and Husband some and let them experiment some. If you do not let them know what you desire then you may not get it.
If you decide that you like or you don
Pink flamingo - How many swingers have a pink flamingo in their front yard? - Not upside down, but we served this at a “game night” for some fun!
Go turn on Oprah - re:swingers - Well you can show us anyyyyyytime.
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