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Do you mix your vanilla and lifestyle friends? - - We tell anyone who is a late night friend, ie: serious friend, vanilla or not that we have an alternative lifestyle. It has made things so much easier. Our vanilla friends are closer. We make it very clear that we don't have any interest in sex with them for concerns about ruining what is a already a good relationship. I am not talking, work vanillas, they don't need to know. I am talking about people with whom we go dancing or bar hopping. Why lie about who you really are? The whole reason for jumping the hurdle that is the "lifestyle" is to be free with who you really are. Then you are supposed to hide it with people who are supposed to really care about you? Nope.
Because of this, it is really cute when we throw a party or get together. The vanillas spend the whole time excitedly trying to guess who the swingers are. Most of the time it doesn't take much to guess. This reminds me of what got us started on this course. We threw a mostly vanilla roller skating party with some vanilla friends. They invited a whole bunch of people and we invited a whole bunch of people. We invited 3 couples who were swingers who did not know or probably didn't care to hide what they were. The vanilla couple invited once swinger couple totally unaware that they were swingers. We got very outed that night. lol It went really well so it carried over as a "good idea".
Piper
Oprah show on Swingers - - Found the schedule... i.e., June 30 and I found a video clip, trailers, but not the time.. East coast here.. Does anyone know what time it will air on the 30th?
Thank you, in advance..
Ray
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - J&J,
HAHAHAHA why not corona??
Bunny,
You a med pro?
-D-
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - I know
Married & single? - single minded affrairs? -
It is a double standard. We have meet several couples that would never consider a cheating guy, but would a cheating woman. I think some people ignore the double standard because of the Law of scarcity.
Married/relationship bound men that are exploring without their spouse are no different from Single men has been our experience.
If anyone Male or Female is having a sexual or emotional relationship without their primary partner's knowledge then they are cheating. It's not a matter of the quality or quantity or even if the partner had suspicions or not. It's a matter of trust which they are breaking by having a relationship that their partner would not approve of.
And yes the Law of Scarcity is accepted by many swingers in regard to a female wanting to explore.....including us.
To Bi or not to Bi. - - Society has imposed a morality code on most of us at one time or another be it through religion or laws. Lets admit it we are animals and although we may not act that way often, sex is one of the most basic animal instincts. Acting on those urges if you are a swinger means you can have sex with others and not fall into the societal guilt and jealousy others may feel. When we meet new swingers this seems to be one of the most difficult things to overcome.
We do not judge those who are bi no matter whether they are male or female. We are just not into it. She will kiss and fondle breast but its for show not enjoyment. He does mind if men touch because of proximity but he has no desire to be with another man sexually. We do not judge others who do and we have play friends where both male and female are bi and it does not scare us.
One last comment about labels. If someone is bi it does not mean they are gay or homosexual or lesbian unless they choose to be. Everyone should be able to choose their own label for their sexuality and who fucking cares what someone else says.
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - From certain perspectives yes that's what I'm saying. Religion twists things but from the view of an Islamic extremest what those terrorists did on that plane was the pinnacle of a moral example. From our point of view it was horrid and sick. We are in the out group to these terrorists and religion has warped their view so that they think they need to defend the ideals of their in group. Understanding that they believe they are doing good things doesn't excuse them from the bad things they do. Like how the Pope isn't innocent for using his influence to stop people from using condoms in countries riddled with AIDS and parent less children. He believes he is doing right but is inexcusable.
Gangbangs/ Wife sharing - - If I can put my 2 cents in.
I have only been in the swinging lifestyle in the capacity of going to swingers clubs. I have also been involved, and witnessed gangbangs at the club. I believe that there are 2 very important factors for a gangbang to happen.
1) Comfortable Setting
2) Comfortable with the people involved.
Yeah the club setting is a good place for swingers, but it can be a chancy place for gang bangs. The club I used to attend did allow single men, but so many were pushy and didn\'t get the ideal of the social aspect. I\'ll admit I\'ve never been invited to a gang bang at a hotel or private home. I\'m sure I would accept the opportunity to, but I do know the lifestyle and have respect for any couple I meet.
I need a room! - Do you have a room for rent? - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]Off subject, just a bit, but has anyone every considered renting a room out to swingers on a month by month basis, as a play room? The renters would not be there all the time, just when they have a hook-up. So the landlord would not have to share their home 24/7/365. When their renters are there they might make a bit of noise and such, but hey that might be interesting and a side benefit. If they collected $400.00 or $500.00 a month and maybe three or four swinging households kicked in it could be a way to economize play-dating and not have to worry about hotel security knocking on the door due to noise complaints. I am guessing the room would get used maybe two nights a week. The landlord and the swinging renters and any of their guest would sign an agreement on rules etc. Hey it might be a way for a select single guy to meet a few people as the landlord. Hey, he might get an invite from time to time to join in. [/quote]
What about a person who rented it out on a daily basis, say like 20 or 30 for play time, and the swingers agree to clean up?
Habits: Vanilla or Not? - How to tell the difference? - [quote=DANDDMONTREAL]We went to Habits last night because multiple people have mentioned that it's a place that Utah lifestylers like to frequent. As we expected, it was generally difficult to tell the difference between lifestylers and vanillas (though we did recognize a few people from various events). We have no interest in offending a vanilla by making undesired advances. Nor are we looking to flip vanillas. That's just not our thing. We're really only interested in meeting stable couples that have experience in the lifestyle. So the obvious question is, what tricks do people have for differentiating lifestylers from vanillas at Habits?[/quote]
This has been asked here many times before... here's what it boiled down to:
1) You can't tell by looking.
2) If you really want to know, you'll have to ask them.
3) Despite the fact that maybe 5% to 10% of the people there are swingers on any given weekend, it's not a swinger club, so if you're trying to meet swingers, it's very inefficient.
Sorry.. wish there was a better answer.
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