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Has anyone else had or still have this problem? - Mixed emotions when it's your turn to play - [quote=UCANTOUCHMYMONKY]Sugarandspice said "most swingers are down on single men. So many males are here for their own pleasure period. It is the God
We thought this was educational and should explain a lot about s - keep an open mind. Swingers are spiders. Each to their own unique ways! - Funny...yep! LOL
swinging... - - It was my idea at first to swing with some good friends of ours.... Very bad idea..... The swingers site was his idea.... Very good idea!!!!!!
Messages - why don't people want to message back - [quote=Sm435]
5. People totally content with swinging are already in an established party or meet group and have people come to them now. They are tons of fun, experienced swingers that know how to balance normal life and swinging life.
So we always tell newbs there is a huge learning curve to this lifestyle. No, it’s not the sex part, we all already do that, it’s the ability to sort through the mess and find connections. Living where you do makes it even harder. Try some other sites to see if they fit better.
Don’t jump at every friend request. Our experience over 4 years is the blind ones with no message lead no where.
We use the sites for first contact, then k!k (you can live pic verify there) and chat to see if it’s a match. Remember it’s a frustrating road ahead.
Just keep at it. We are to the point now we can spot most flakes, cheaters and collectors quickly and we block and move on. When you do finally meet just be open. Network, be friends, that can lead to parties or new friends. Start looking to just meet cool fucking people and learn from there.[/quote]
Well said. We just quoted the parts we completely agree with. You should remember that once you find a good group of FWB - you are less inclined to follow up on every offer. This is more a time management issue than a rejection. Hopefully people will still be responsive.
The only emails we don’t respond to are blind friend requests .... especially from people with no profile pics. Sorry - we won’t respond to blind requests. If you are interested - send a thoughtful message - if you are not, simply say so. We think that is good form.
Good luck - it’s wonderful when it works. We have been extremely lucky in finding some lifetime great friends. We’ve only had one couple we played with who ghosted us - we’ll never understand that - but it happens. That’s on them, not us. We feel like what comes around goes around. Wouldn’t change anything about our LS experience though - we feel blessed to have expanded our circle of friends to FWB. Lucky, lucky, lucky us!! May you all have similar luck!
Cuming out of the Swinger closet - - [quote=CNTRLCPL][quote=SJA]After some time in the lifestyle, we have recently started to break the news to some of our close friends that we are swingers.
We have great friends and so far they have taken the information really well. However, we have other friends that would never want to hear it, and god forbid if we ever told our family about it.
What are everyone else's thoughts about coming out of the "Swinger" closet?[/quote]
Have you even considered the implications for others that may want to stay "in the closet"? You may be committing "Swinger Suicide" as it were... your openness might be great for you, but other may want to stay behind the curtain and would not want to be outed by association. [/quote]
This is an excellent point we hadn't thought about. Luckily, we've only shared with a couple VERY close friends. Plus, we keep our vanilla friends and swinger friends quite separate to avoid this situation.
Reject Affair Match - Cheaters are not swingers - Yet another good reason why I use the Firefox browser with Adblock Plus ... I can't even see the ad you're all talking about, which makes me glad! :D
Too old ???? - - [quote=SUNRISE]The person(s) who outed you obviously has a profile themselves, otherwise they would not be able to see your profile. And if they can see any of your photos other than the first cover photo, then they have a paid membership. So by outing you, they have also outed themselves.
Except they don't care that people know about them being Swingers and believe it or not we used to be friends.
My husband has a high profile job and it was quite a blow to the face when we found out.
Site activity - - [quote=Daddylikestowatch]Is it just us or does it seem site activity, the forums particularly, have declined significantly ? It seems active member participation has been lagging quite a bit and limited to a few “regulars”. Has everyone else jumped ship ? Is there another site getting a bigger following ? This is a shame, we have been on Swingular for several years now, and not particularly super active outside of the site, we still enjoy following and posting on the forums and staying connected with the community. We understand the administrators have for the most part abandoned this site for several years now, but was hoping at least the community would keep it going.[/quote]
We run a local discord group for Utah for swingers its not as robust for profiles and things but it makes the chats easy
Staying a couple in the lifestyle - - [quote=Sofutosuwappu]Our experience so far:
Religious > naturist > meet naturists/nudists who are swingers > soft swap > non-religious > full swap with couples same room > full swap separate room
Thoughts?[/quote]
Wow - what a great thread Sofutosuwappu! I just read some of these responses today. We're actually shocked! Evil - 60 couples . . . WOW! This has not been our experience at all.
While we are relatively new in the LS (since 2015) and we definitely have less LS play experience than most who have commented - our experience has been very different from that described . . . both in terms of our own evolution, but also in terms of what we have personally witnessed with friends.
ALL of the couples we have met in the LS are still together and in loving long-term relationships (as far as we know). Part of that may be dumb luck . . . part of it may be in the 'rules' we set for ourselves. We don't play separately . . . part of the fun is seeing your partner receive joy, pleasure, and excitement! We also specifically seek out people in Long Term relationships . . . and we have stayed away from profiles that intimated a DTF (down to fuck) kind of mind set. Not that there is anything wrong with that - we don't judge . . . just not something we have been interested in. We are attracted to beautiful relationships.
As for our own evolution . . we are STILL very religious, we jumped into the LS first . . . and THEN became nudists 🤣 We have made only a slight adjustment to our play style from our first adventure, and we have no interest in becoming 'non-religious' - we have found the LS to be a continuation or advancement of our understanding of the Judeo-Christian commandment to 'Love One Another'. Maybe we just haven't been in long enough . . . maybe we are self-deluded and are secretly living a life of cognitive dissonance . . . but so far so good.
One HUGE change is that when we first started in the LS . . . we thought we would want to be completely anonymous . . . going so far as to create 'fake names' etc. (I know . . . but we were still virgins . . . we feel SOME guilt about that . . . but we have subsequently repented!😉) We thought that the less people knew about us . . . the better. That changed 180 degrees within the first 6 months of our stumbling into this LS. Now . . . we only seek friends . . . who can be genuine friends . . . and if that progresses to any type of sexual exploration . . . all the better . . . but the friendship rules.
I'm sure we still have a lot to figure out in this regard - but we cherish our new and longer-term friendships . . . and honestly can't wait to spend time with these people. We are missing the summer live concert venues . . . and we can't wait till the next time we meet with friends. If that makes us 'poly-amorous' . . . then consider us 'guilty as charged' - We have somehow managed to maintain significant and deep friendships with just about everyone we've played with. We don't see that changing.
Hope that helps - thought it might as far as providing an alternate perspective. We love the authenticity and honesty shown to us by friends in the LS - we honestly have a hard time now maintaining vanilla relationships . . . whats the point??🤷♂️
Thank you all for the riveting discussion!
This one time at Swingers Camp... - N By N Camp out - Absolutely on our calenders every year! What a great weekend to meet new friends, and enjoy seeing old ones! We had a great time!
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