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Preconceived Ideas - - we had the same kind of realization.... once we figured out that 'swingers' were mostly just regular people with a spicy side hobby, we felt much more comfortable.
We still are hoping to stumble into the 'non-stop orgies'
Bubulaplease - Confidentiality - Something that has bothered me a little bit...when we went to Lumpys the doorman asked if we were there for the Sinful event. We says yes and as we were walking down the stairs some people upstairs asked him what was going on and he said it was a swingers party. I mentioned it to a few people that night and it seemed that it was a normal occurrence. We realize that going to the events we may run into someone we know, however, people who don't know about our lifestyle also go to lumpys. I would hate for them to know there was a swingers party going on and then see us leaving or something. My question..is this normal? Is it this way at, say, Sandy Station? Do the group organizers ask for confidentiality?
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - Like almost every other women who responded, i love DP as well. As soon as you find the right people the walls can start coming down lol
Looking for Advice - Recently coming back into the LS - [quote=Kinkycouple123]Hello!
So I just have a question.
We were in the LS about two years ago.. and since getting back into it, it seems like what we want is not as accepting ( or that we aren't actual swingers). We aren't a full swap couple and I feel like that hinders us from meeting new people and just getting out there.
While I enjoy watching my husband with other women, I have no desire to be with anyone other than my husband.
Is this weird? We have talked to a few couples who just question why were are in the LS at all. They have said that what we are looking for is a "tall order" or that "we aren't actual swingers" which I can understand to a point.. but isn't this site for people also looking to explore their sexuality in a safe place with no judgements?
I would love some feedback or advice if anyone else in a similar situation because at this point I don't feel welcome.
Thank You![/quote]
I think what you are "looking for" is not a surprise... you want a Unicorn... now, asking a couple to "loan" you their female half ( with nothing in return to the other male ) ... yeah, long shot on that for sure.
Good Luck in your search.
Best Swingers club in Cincinnati area? - Swingers clubs - We agree, SinDay is a great club. But like we said, we like both SinDay and 440 but are looking for something new as well. Heard about Princeton in Columbus....me might give that a try soon.
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Bunny,
It's stuck... help!
-D-
who starts? - - [quote=ARISTOTLE801]
You would think, as much as the phrase [i]communication is key[/i], gets bandied about people would really want to actively engage in communication. It would seem natural that the more experienced parties would take the lead in discussing how things get done much like flight instructors explaining that when the oxygen masks drop from the overhead compartment, you place it over your head, secure the elastic strap and breathe.
However in this lifestyle that couldn't be further from the truth. The problem is that if there is too much chit chat then someone is always in danger of being dumbfounded by the use of a big word. It's hard to be sexy when all the blood is now rushing to your head in a desperate attempt to draw upon a vocabulary that just isn't there in the first place. How do you get around this? Well, I certainly don't need to explain the folly of having a dictionary next to the hot tub.
This is why it is strongly encouraged that swingers incorporate healthy role-play. When trying to get that new couple to first base it's best to stick with the basics. A good old fashion game of Neanderthals...ahem, excuse me, I mean cave people. Then the fun can proceed upon simple phrases like, "You look good" or "Me touch you now?" When becoming aroused you might say, "Oooh, this is how make fire," or "I look in hole for water," to facilitate cunnilingus.
This role-play is especially helpful to those who don't have hot tubs, or who may have suggested strip Uno because they thought a
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - IMO, you wouldn't explain yourself about your monogamous "vanilla" sex life or activities, so why would you about this?
The subject of this thread was about your kids finding out. I'm not sure what age group of kids we're talking about and that can make a big difference. If they are adult children, you can simply tell them you are sorry they had to find out about it and regret that it makes them uncomfortable but it is your private life and will leave it there...in private. I think it is wise to reassure them that you will not do anything to embarrass them (start acting differently around them or other family members, etc.) and that nothing between you and them will change. Before they found out you were still the parent they loved and this will continue now.
If they are young children, it can be a little more complicated. The questions aren't just about the lifestyle but also about sex since they are probably learning and curious about the topic in general. But, you could keep it very simple (& age appropriate) and explain that sex is something adults enjoy privately and that if they have any questions about sex (emphasis not on swinging) you will be happy to answer.
If they pursue asking about swinging, I would just share that this is something better explained when they are a little older and that honesty and communication are valued so you will try to be as honest as you can be. However, you don't need to go into detail IMO. Often, kids are looking more for your reaction and some reassurance and aren't quite as concerned with the actual "words". They want to know their world isn't being disrupted.
The rest of your post mentioned family members, etc. Again, you would never feel obligated sit around and discuss the details of a vanilla sex life so it isn't necessary to discuss the details of swinging.
You could share that if someone has a private question they would like to ask they can if that's the kind of relationship you have with them. But, you can also add that you will only do so if comfortable.
I might stress or emphasize that you and your partner have an open and honest relationship that you enjoy together. There are a number of factors that go into enhancing that relationship making it so special and that they've stumbled onto one area that you've incorporated/explored. You appreciate that it might not be for everyone and you wouldn't expect everyone to understand but that you sincerely hope they would also be as considerate to not judge the two of you. I might add that while you've tried to be candid when answering their questions, you only ask in return that they respect your privacy and not share what they've learned or discussed with anyone else. Include them into the agreement by explaining that you will extend to them the same discretion they extend to you.
Who knows...one of them may have been curious about exploring the lifestyle and you might just be that one person they feel comfortable asking about it.
At the same time, people can be very judgemental so protect yourselves. However these family members found out...it could happen again if that avenue hasn't been fixed. I'm sorry this got so long-winded and I could write so much more. Whew!!! Good luck with this!
For those who don’t understand the lifestyle - It’s what makes sense for you - The REALLY fucked up thing is how many people would or DO look down on swingers and swinging as something aberrant, abnormal, and disgusting, yet think people cheating and having affairs is a fairly normal part of life. It would seem that being open and upfront about your sexual desires with your spouse is somehow bad and sneaking around lying and cheating is good. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Where to go, what to do. - Non club activities - Will definitely do the bowling thing but being December I wonder if meeting at Temple square for the lights would be fun and funny or if it would be too offensive to the Mormon swingers on here.
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