Sunland Swingers in California

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Rules - - This is not merely an issue on Swingular, but is a mind-set that we have encountered on every site we have belonged to, in every geographical area, and at many parties. Seemingly the single ladies get the accolades, while their counterparts, the dreaded single males, get the proverbial foot in the ass. Is it fair? We don't think so. However, it is what it is, and not likely to change soon. I'm sure that everyone has an opinion as to why this occurs (opinion/assholes being synonymous; everyone has one). Here are a few of our thoughts.... Perhaps one could say that this disparity is due to the fact that most couples are searching for females...either single or part of a couple? This is only PARTIALLY true as there are many swingers that are not looking for singles of either gender. Many couples are, in fact, only looking only for other couples to share friendship and intimacy. Perhaps the old adage "Men are a dime a dozen", comes into play? Well...one has to admit that yes...us guys really are rather numerous. Regardless of being within the Lifestyle or out....you can always find a guy, willing to hump your wife. Go to any vanilla event to find that out. Many might say that all single guys are pushy ass-wads, that lack the intelligence, class, or sophistication to show respect and patience towards a couple that's willing to share intimacy with them. Again, not totally true. We have met many polite, kind and respectful single men. We have also had numerous run-ins with females...both single and married, that have been just as crass, obnoxious and presumptuous as the most obnoxious single guy anyone could imagine. We like to call them the Bi-Nazi's: you know...the "it's-all-about-the-women" types. This brings me to yet another mentionable. There is also an unspoken "assumption", that just because any individual of the female persuasion is involved in swinging...she's automatically "bi-curious", "bi-sexual", or "just doesn't know that she wants to be yet". The obvious outcome of this mind-set is that unwanted advances, groping and attention comes towards the females/couples that are not looking for this type of interaction. Ironically, the same advances made by a male, married or single...would be dealt with severely in most cases. However...with the ladies...many consider it "appropriate", if not expected. Do you see the double-standard? Somewhat hypocritical I would say. Many get so caught up in stereotyping, and outcomes having to look a certain way, they are quick to assign social roles to various members of our Lifestyle. In the process, they forget objectiveness, compassion, and open-mindedness. Isn't that what we, as swingers pride ourselves on, "open-mindedness", and being "out of the box"? Ok..since sweeping swinger social changes (wow, say that fast three times...haha), are not likely to happen...Siren and I elect to manage what we know we can, and that's ourselves. We never expect anyone or anything to be anything but themselves, and let their actions and behaviors be the ultimate factor as to how we interact with them, regardless of marital status, gender, or seeking preferences. J

Identifying Swingers! - Lots of talk and now some action! :) - We like what you are doing and agree that it does not stand out like something we tried before. We are curious to see what the new items will look like. Is there a way to get on a mailing list for your site? We tried wearing a pin that was given to us from another site and forgot to take it off my jacket at the end of the night. The next time I wore the jacket we were with family and they wanted to know what the initials in bright colors stood for. In a pinch I replied it stands for the "safe drivers club ". Then my mother in law wanted to join but I further explained it was for us that drag raced and went a certain time with no accidents. So I invited her to drag race and earn her own pin but she declined. And that is why we would appreciate a more subtle way of letting others know about our lifestyle choices. Please keep us informed. Joe and Lori

Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? - CLASSY: Good topic! :) Neither Siren nor myself have set any specific rules about time parameters being met before we'll play with a couple, but as always with many things in life...our playing has it's dynamics and nuances, which are always evolving. So, to respond to a few of the questions you posed: Fear of STD's? Not specifically. Fear of thinking of ourselves as sluts? Absolutely not. Sometimes sluthood is fun! Fear of others thinking we are sluts? We don't and have never given a patoot about what others think of us. Values, morals? No way! We are "swingers" after all, and besides...we've both spent our time in an organized "forum" (former mormons), worrying about whether or not we were being "worthy" or if Jesus was happy with us; we're sooo done with that! Do we have to BBQ before we'll fuck someone? What's the point of that? Besides...sometimes through the interaction of a BBQ you realize, "I really don't wanna boink this person." If our kids have played together? Nah...children fall outside of the spectrum of the specific lifestyle. They're part of the social nature when we're not swinging with those that we have met during the course of our experiences. It's all good. Is random sex scary? Well, yes it is...or it CAN be...but especially if you don't practice wisdom and are not reasonable by indulging in indiscriminate sex with EVERYONE you come across. There are some seriously scary-ass people out there! This question is along the same lines as the first question of fear of STD's. Taboo? Well, hell...yes it is...and I believe that is part of the intrigue; part of the whole mind-game of swinging. Bottom line: Siren and I have been known to play on first dates, and we've been known to wait a long time, and as can be expected have had a grab-bag of results. We never carry an agenda or ulterior motives (expectations) when we socialize or meet people. We can draw no conclusion using the good vs. bad experiences and if they were a first-time play or not. We do, however, go with how we feel at any given moment and at any given event. You know...sometimes it just feels right and sometimes, the Mo-Jo is simply not there. ~J~

A&E New show about swingers... - neighbors with benefits.... - [quote=SWINGAIRS][quote=KIDSATPLAY]Why would any industry sponsor shows about the positive side of Swinging? I doubt there is any big money in promoting the swing lifestyle any more than there is profit to singing the praises of plural marriage. The vice industry might even suffer financially should swinging really catch on. This is a lifestyle that must eat the crumbs that fall from the gay lesbian table to acquire any "me to" acceptance. It seems like social and financial suicide for the deep pockets.[/quote] They had a swinger pride parade in new Orleans this year. Maybe in 20 years we can have a table too.[/quote]Except that's a false equivalency; swinging is a choice people make. No one is born as a swinger. This is like comparing wearing contacts to having green eyes; one chooses to wear contacts, one doesn't choose to be born w/ green eyes.

dancing - - According to the rumor mill, Habits is where the swingers go to go clubbing. My wife and I usually go social ballroom or swing though, when we go out dancing.

Las Vegas Lifestyle Clubs/Hangouts? - Where to go to meet other couples? - What site starts with a k and ends with IE? The swingers circle party was fun with pleasantly surprising couples.

Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - Interested as well

What sets you apart from other swingers - Lets see whos looking for what. - DAMN!..fantastic answer Ironhorse!!!!!!

RV Swingers? - - [quote=REDROCKCOUPLE]Well, shortly the wife and I will be buying a new RV and traveling full time for a few years. Is there anyone from the lifestyle that are full timers? We are pretty excited to get out and travel some and meet new peeps.[/quote]hey swing pun intended by our place

Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - We salute and appreciate all the members of the military. We know that our very lives and our hard earned freedoms are a direct result of what thay sacrifice in order to keep us all safe. We have attached our Memorial Day Salute to all veterans..........