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Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - [quote=BENT]SUMINDYFUN: To attempt to better answer your question, this is what we've experienced/learned in our poly-type relationships...
This is so much more of a complex subject than just a quick "blurb", we like to compare it to guessing a 4 combination lock, you know at least 1 or 2 of the correct numbers... but do you really??? You find out an amazing amount about YOURSELF through this process!
We have seen just about everything emerge, from complete unbelievable bliss to complete unbelievable hurt. However, what we've learned is TOTAL honesty, trust, respect, patience and absolute untethered communication are key! These things can either make or break it and breaking it earlier rather than later is a good thing, because if it breaks later then it usually means one or more people missed one or more of the fore-mentioned items and will cause much greater hurt because of all the time/work that was put in by the others.
BTW, apparently the bliss is much more powerful than the hurt because we keep trying and trying for some reason? Yep, its like a drug and we're addicted! This is why we dont fault any one for not wanting to "step through that door" so to speak. We suggest to any one that they open that door very, very slowly and even walk away for a bit before entering fully.
ABCMAN: You hit the nail directly on the head... from our experiences, social conditioning is extremely difficult for most people to overcome.[/quote]
Thank you BENT! We agree with you 100% on the honesty and communication aspect. We have been so happy in the year we have been with our couple, but there have been some bumps and mis communications along the way. Fortunately we were able to deal with them and learn from them rather well. We realize that a Poly relationship is very complex and risky, but the rewards outweigh the risks for us. Wishing you guys good luck in your search!
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - Don, please stop making so much sense. If you keep this shit up people are going to stop calling you an asshole.
Sincerely Yours,
Fucktard
Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - [quote=EVILDOERS]Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em] [/quote]
Damnit! Evildoers is right again!
sluts? what? - how so? - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=SHADOWINGWHISPERS][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]There is a book called "The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities" written by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy that defines Slut in a positive light. They might be using slut in that context. The book has been very popular with swingers for quite a few years. [/quote]
I would hope they are using it in that sense.. but words that compile around the slut term make it strongly seem like it's a negative term.. sadly..[/quote]
If they are using it in a derogatory sense it may be because they are experiencing a certain level of self loathing because they are struggling to accept their own sexual nature or they may have peers and family that would do their best to destroy them were they to live so free as you are. I think that the anger that leads to name calling and judgment sometimes is a secondary emotion that people choose to embrace because the primary emotion is much more painful. They may want what you have but lack the confidence or courage to go find it for themselves and so the same people that call someone a slut in the derogatory sense far too often are the same people that go off and struggle with their own sexuality in dark places through lying, cheating, abuse and even darker acts while swimming in a sea of self loathing.
We should all jump up and down and be happy that you are free or striving to become free of such shackles![/quote]
That makes sense.. I hope everyone can undo the shackles!! Great understanding..
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - AKLIM,
1. I was never trying to convince you to accept a single guy. I was only saying that there are many reasons, to include insecurity, that people don't like single guys. I think that's the biggest reason, to tell you the truth. I was pointing out that it was ok to say no to anything you don't want. However, it's not ok to get in a thread not addressing you to defame and stereotype others because of your unique experience.
2) If you are into "watching" girl on girl, that maybe something the single female brings to the table (for some). In fact, it would equate to what a single male would bring to the table for those guy that want to watch their wife get fucked by a strange dude.
3) It's all a matter of preference. No one should ridicule anyone for their own preference. If you don't want single males, fine. But don't ridicule the single male for wanting the couple.
4) You seem to be addressing my points as though I were directing them at you. I am speaking in general and to those that posted personal attacks and remarks about the author of the thread as though he was some sort of a self-serving asshole for posting this thread. These same people that pigeon hole a group for what the minority do. When we are all here for self-gratification and to say any less would be dishonest. I find it difficult at time not to call people out on their hypocrisies. Do I mean you? NO. I mean any moron that wants something and is fine happy when they get it, but will stop at nothing to deny others the same satisfaction. I say fuck em.
-D-
Best Swingers Club in Houston? - Going there in Sept - Just wondering if anyone can recommend one of the many clubs in Houston. The Mystery Zone gets good google reviews.
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - I can't find the group on Facebook. I found the bars page but not the group.
Swinger Friendly Businesses - Business or services friendly to swingers - i am an electrician my self and do some side work on the side i am a journeyman electrician have been in the trade for 13 years contact me an i will see what i can do
Freedom of the Seas Swinger Cruise Nov 2012 - - [quote=JONJOY17]Is it really that much? We were looking into it but only on the website. Never made any calls... [/quote]
Yeah, go here https://secureregistrationonline.com/freedom_nov_2012/decks.php?affiliateId=6
In retrospec, that isn't too bad. Desire costs $400 a day per couple so this is right in line.
Mav
PS. Anyone want to open a Swingers resort and make some good money? ;)
Swingers unnerve families at hotel - - heard about this on the radio this morning. I almost pissed myself. Not cool what the hotel did, but rather funny to have a soccer tournament stuck in a swinger hotel...
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