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Yet Another Cheater - - [quote=WYOFUNLUV]Isn't the reason everyone is here is to have wild different sexual experiences? If a male or female is married and chooses not let that be known then isn't that their business? I agree that if your not comfortable with it then its your right to ask and say no if you find it out. Either way if someone gets caught its not your problem its theirs. I know people on here that play and their spouses do not know many travel and/or dont have great sex at home whether it is due to medication or age or anything else. In the long run I dont think this is as much of a dating site as it is a site of like minded people looking to satisfy adult needs and fantasies. So Have fun and do what your standards and morals let you do. And don't chastise people who dont think like you. Ok I said my two cents. Now lets have some fun.[/quote] On a certain level, you're correct. It's nobody else's business. However, one could also use that argument to justify/excuse literally any behavior. What if a guy is abusive to his wife? Is it still nobody else's business since that's between him and her and he's just here to fuck other people? I know that I would want to know about something like that if I was going to be okay on ANY level with him being intimate with my wife. The same goes for a person who is, say, abusive to his kids or kicks his dog and leaves it chained up outside no matter the weather. I could go on and on about bad behavior that we'd want to know about, if possible, before we decided to invite that person into our relationship because, in a very real sense, that's what a couple is doing when they swing with someone else. That's also why many people don't feel like singles have as much 'skin in the game' (i.e. they aren't RISKING as much) and why many feel like so many single guys just don't 'get it'. Personally, Ms. Evil and I can't simply separate a person's sex organs from who and what they are as a person. So yeah, we're not really keen on playing with cheaters as that says something important, at least to us, about their character...or lack thereof. But don't worry. There are still people here who it doesn't bother in the least if the person they're fucking is doing so behind the back of someone they made promises and a commitment to. That's MY two cents. Oh, and when you say "...it's not their problem." well, it actually COULD be their problem. We knew a guy about 10 years ago who ended up in the hospital after a woman's husband (who the guy had been told was aware of and okay with her meeting swingers) caught him in bed with his wife.

I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - [quote=PAIRPLAYERS][quote=EVILDOERS]Thanks for the responses so far. I thought of a couple of additional questions. Are you seeking, finding and connecting with other open/poly people here on Swingular or are you finding people thru other means? Also, do you find that most of the people you connect with are single or are they in their own primary relationships? Does it matter much to you if they are single or coupled?[/quote] Great question. Almost exclusively non swinger community singles surprisingly. Have tried amongst the swingers but they seem to have a very quid pro quo mentality. [/quote] Yes, they do! We noticed that dynamic almost immediately when we first entered the lifestyle and were actually talking about it just today in the context of no quid pro quo being a distinct positive in the column of open or poly lifestyles vs. swinging. SO many times when I was even just TALKING to a woman her partner or husband would basically go grab Ms. Evil, no matter what she was doing or who she was talking to, and assume it was perfectly okay to just do more or less whatever he wanted. After all, I was doing something/anything with HIS partner! Wow! Great responses everyone. SO informative! Thank-you.

Feelings on Karma - spouses in a open relationship that break the rules, then will allow you to also - Are you serious? If it sounds like a good topic for The Jerry Springer Show... People like that are not good "swingers" for lack of a better term. They are foolishly wagering their relationships to be self indulgant (sp?). The Lifestyle is about TRUST. It is about HONESTY. and believe it or not, supreme COMMITTMENT. I dont even really see how your situation has anything to do with swinging. The rules were set. The rules were broken. It is simply CHEATING. Anyone who would enter in to a committed relationship, whatever type it is, only to break the rules that you two have agreed on as a couple is selfish in my book. This means you had NO respect for your partner. NO respect for thier feelings. And absolutely NO respect for the relationship. So why bother!? Cheating is NOT a tennis ball to be whacked back and forth between courts, or awarded as some kind of concellation prize to the victim when one is caught. I think that behavior is just sick. But thats just my little tiny .02 cents. Luvbugs! (mR.) :s

sh*t swingers say - to preach to the choir - This is brilliant and totally hilarious!!!!! LOVE IT! LMAO!

BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - IMO, you wouldn't explain yourself about your monogamous "vanilla" sex life or activities, so why would you about this? The subject of this thread was about your kids finding out. I'm not sure what age group of kids we're talking about and that can make a big difference. If they are adult children, you can simply tell them you are sorry they had to find out about it and regret that it makes them uncomfortable but it is your private life and will leave it there...in private. I think it is wise to reassure them that you will not do anything to embarrass them (start acting differently around them or other family members, etc.) and that nothing between you and them will change. Before they found out you were still the parent they loved and this will continue now. If they are young children, it can be a little more complicated. The questions aren't just about the lifestyle but also about sex since they are probably learning and curious about the topic in general. But, you could keep it very simple (& age appropriate) and explain that sex is something adults enjoy privately and that if they have any questions about sex (emphasis not on swinging) you will be happy to answer. If they pursue asking about swinging, I would just share that this is something better explained when they are a little older and that honesty and communication are valued so you will try to be as honest as you can be. However, you don't need to go into detail IMO. Often, kids are looking more for your reaction and some reassurance and aren't quite as concerned with the actual "words". They want to know their world isn't being disrupted. The rest of your post mentioned family members, etc. Again, you would never feel obligated sit around and discuss the details of a vanilla sex life so it isn't necessary to discuss the details of swinging. You could share that if someone has a private question they would like to ask they can if that's the kind of relationship you have with them. But, you can also add that you will only do so if comfortable. I might stress or emphasize that you and your partner have an open and honest relationship that you enjoy together. There are a number of factors that go into enhancing that relationship making it so special and that they've stumbled onto one area that you've incorporated/explored. You appreciate that it might not be for everyone and you wouldn't expect everyone to understand but that you sincerely hope they would also be as considerate to not judge the two of you. I might add that while you've tried to be candid when answering their questions, you only ask in return that they respect your privacy and not share what they've learned or discussed with anyone else. Include them into the agreement by explaining that you will extend to them the same discretion they extend to you. Who knows...one of them may have been curious about exploring the lifestyle and you might just be that one person they feel comfortable asking about it. At the same time, people can be very judgemental so protect yourselves. However these family members found out...it could happen again if that avenue hasn't been fixed. I'm sorry this got so long-winded and I could write so much more. Whew!!! Good luck with this!

Probably my last post - True colors are showing now - Well. I shouldn't. But we're all "getting it out of our systems" so I will. I had been having a great time in the chat room, until Wild decided to badger me and badger me and badger me about the fact that HE was REALLY single - not "married but playing with wife's permission" (as I truly am). He just kept poking at it and wouldn't let it go. How... ironic... that I am, indeed, what I said I was and the protester turns out to be not what he said he was. Hmmmm.... "Methinks he protested too much". I even mentioned his heavy-handed "monitoring" to the staff and they refused to do anything but take his side in every item. OK. So I stopped participating in the chat room - for months. Now. Big Breath. My "problem" is nothing compared to what has happened to others, so I suppose I should just count myself lucky. I *do* feel for you all, but I also will plead with you to consider that "swingers have some bad apples just like the general populace - but have mostly-good people - just like the general populace".

Friends with out benefits? - Is it possible to find friends on here who dont want to fuck? - We know this isnt facebook or something like that but we really enjoy being around swingers until they try to ask for more than what we are comfy with. We are not swingers or vanilla. Somewhere inbetween? What are your thoughts or advise? Any input is appreciated, even if its negative :-) Oh and we have tried the full swinging experience for a couple years, we loved it up until we felt we had to "put out" lol.

Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - Sign me up. Thanks Robby

Wife sharing - Let’s see some fun adventures - Swingers cove at deer creek? A real thing?

Why the male side of Couples are here...? - I will admit I am hoping to spark some heated debate on this.... - [quote=EVILDOERS][quote=CPL4SOFT]Because every time the female half gets on all she gets is here's a pic of my cock, want to fuck? [/quote] At the risk of further pizzing off a few of the single dudes around here... That's because a fair number of guys assume that since you're swingers (i.e. you "allow" your partner to fuck other men) you must by default be a cuckold. It's bullshit and it unfairly affects the single guys who DON'T assume that married male swingers are all cucks (or won't openly admit it-lol). To be fair, we've run into more than a few married guys who feel this way too. They're easy to pick out because they say up front their lady doesn't fuck other guys or they try to bait and switch you after you meet. Exactly... Bty EvilDoers, you guys are awesome! We laughed so hard reading your profile! Xoxo!