Oakland Swingers in Oregon

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swinger ? or not. - - We became a swingers by accident when we knocked 2 doors shy of some Amway party. This shit's better than LOC

New Forum Rules - No Censorship, No Moderation, Just a Few Rules -

In need of advice - sexual - [quote=ANDRAYWAY_SHANAYNAY]I just have to say it amazes me how judgmental swingers can be... you would think from the outside looking in that they wouldn't be. [/quote] Not judging just yet, I do that and make a fool of myself more than I want to admit. But in this case I am trying to see something real.. Have you considered he might be a single male posing as married? We have seen that a few times over the years. My point is there is no one to validate him or his story. When we have differences of opinions or ask for advice on the site we recognize who we are talking about and can respect or have some faith in what they are saying. I believe if your going to talk about a specific person in a negative way on a forum they should have the right to see it and defend themselves.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! - - Merry Christmas to all on the State-side! (we hail from Ogden, normally) We've met a lot of awesome swingers in Utah and hope to meet even more in the future when we return. XOXO!

Virtual "Cheap Thrill Seekers" - - We empathize with much of what we have read in this topic so far ... Unfortunately, fakes who try to deceive their way into your bedroom and flakes who get their kicks setting up false dates are all too prevalent, not only on Swingular but throughout the entire swingers' community online. For the past three months, we have wasted tremendous amounts of our precious spare time perusing countless profiles and advts, and writing and responding to countless emails and text messages. Despite our concerted almost-daily effort,` we have met only two genuine couples. The vast majority of people we have had contact with over the past 3 months have been fakes or flakes ... and we refuse to play their game any more. These people only exist and thrive on sites like this, and make our pastime difficult and unpleasant, because we allow them to. Evildoers is correct in his/her statement that digital technology has made it easier for people to pretend to be something they are not ... But that depends entirely on the technology being used, which we will discuss in a moment. We (genuine couples) cannot eradicate flakes and fakes from sites like this one, but there are simple commonsense steps we can all take to take the fun out of their participation here. 1. Only communicate with certified/verified couples or females. This is not infallible, but it will reduce the amount of fakes/flakes you come into contact with. 2. Publicly expose and shame all fakes and flakes using the forum. If Swingular doesn't like the forum being used this way they can delete the countless number of posts they will receive, else provide another suitable avenue. 2a. If Swingular doesn't come to the party, start up an online "Flake-o-Dex". It's not as problematic as it sounds if you already have website hosting ( :D ). The major problems with this are getting the site known so people will use it, and moderating the site to ensure that only genuine complaints are posted. But these problems are not insurmountable. 2. Screen your prospects. Stop communicating in text or email after the initial contact ... Advise them by text, email (or on your profile page) that you will want to meet them on webcam (Skype or Swingular videochat) before any real-life meeting. For the most part, fakes and flakes won't contact you again, but if they do, a no-show on cam is far less inconvenient and costly than a no-show in real-life. If a couple or single female are genuine swingers who truly interested in a real life sexual encounter, they should have no inhibitions in meeting you privately on cam. 3. If you only want to meet real couples or females, put yourselves in a place where you will only meet real people and where real people can meet you. Fakes thrive in the anonymity of text-only groups and hate videochat because they can't hide who they are ... So make use of the Swingular Video chat room and stop using text-only groups like Kik to meet people. We both met in a video/text chat room in 2008 (and were living in two separate countries at the time). Many of the people in the room were hiding their faces until they got to know each other (including us, initially) but, from day 1, we could determine everyone's gender and general appearance. Still anonymous (for those that wanted it that way) but no fakes there and none of the problems that are occurring on this site. Well that's our view on the matter ... Whether you choose to consider and try our suggestions is entirely up to you. :)

This one time at Swingers Camp - Discussion about N by N camp out - I wanna thank all of the camp host and staff that helped put this camp out together....Dre, Lang and, Sue and, so many more. I would really like to thank all those who came out to the event for making each moment count even when sleeping hehehe. We had a blast with everyone....Loved seeing you all!!! Love, Sara N Josh Pepsi is good....AMEN!!!

Friend collectors or swingers - - [quote=Utahldscouple]We are more hobbyists or friend collectors than DTF type. Count us as guilty.[/quote] Us too! We love friends! The more the merrier . . . IF we play . . . That is a bonus. As to collecting friends in our friends list . . . Not so much. Though we have certainly accepted friend requests from people we have yet to meet, we ONLY accept friend requests from people we would LIKE to meet . . . And . . . We frequently clean out our friends list when it becomes clear we will never meet. If the practice of looking for people in the LS to meet and be friends with is a bad thing . . . Color us guilty! We have no plans on changing that.

Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - [quote=BENT]SUMINDYFUN: To attempt to better answer your question, this is what we've experienced/learned in our poly-type relationships... This is so much more of a complex subject than just a quick "blurb", we like to compare it to guessing a 4 combination lock, you know at least 1 or 2 of the correct numbers... but do you really??? You find out an amazing amount about YOURSELF through this process! We have seen just about everything emerge, from complete unbelievable bliss to complete unbelievable hurt. However, what we've learned is TOTAL honesty, trust, respect, patience and absolute untethered communication are key! These things can either make or break it and breaking it earlier rather than later is a good thing, because if it breaks later then it usually means one or more people missed one or more of the fore-mentioned items and will cause much greater hurt because of all the time/work that was put in by the others. BTW, apparently the bliss is much more powerful than the hurt because we keep trying and trying for some reason? Yep, its like a drug and we're addicted! This is why we dont fault any one for not wanting to "step through that door" so to speak. We suggest to any one that they open that door very, very slowly and even walk away for a bit before entering fully. ABCMAN: You hit the nail directly on the head... from our experiences, social conditioning is extremely difficult for most people to overcome.[/quote] Thank you BENT! We agree with you 100% on the honesty and communication aspect. We have been so happy in the year we have been with our couple, but there have been some bumps and mis communications along the way. Fortunately we were able to deal with them and learn from them rather well. We realize that a Poly relationship is very complex and risky, but the rewards outweigh the risks for us. Wishing you guys good luck in your search!

Calling all losers! - LS and club scene - ...........................................I am bored on a Sunday, so going to waste a bit of time. :) I have said this before and I will mention it again here. Often times people are looking for a black and white answer, a "this" or "that" or they tend to pigeonhole themselves into a place that feels comfortable to them. It is great that people can search for and find people of similar interests. The original question was why is the Utah scene so closely related to the club scene. To me, that isn't necessarily the way things are and so I am responding to shed a different insight into the question. How big is the club scene in Utah? I don't feel it is that big. We have the Moose Lounge on Fridays on a regular basis, we used to have Habits and then we have the parties that happen once a month or less frequently, such as the Sinful parties. Give or take a few other club locations and attendees. The average attendance at the Moose Lounge is around 80 people every Friday. My guess is that this number is well under 10% of the swinging population in the area. Just estimating. This only happens once a week. If we only consider the weekend as play time (Friday and Saturday), which is also an inaccuracy since people do meet weekdays and Sunday as well, that means that only 5% of the population of swingers is actually attending the swinger club scene on the weekends. Certainly not a majority by any means. Sinful is definitely a club scene. And maybe we should define "club". I will say that is an environment where there is a DJ or another form of music, often times on the loud side as people like to dance, has a dance area for such activities, and typically doesn't open until 9 or so at night. Sinful probably hosts on average 150 people on average (S&A, don't get mad if this number is off,lol) and these happen maybe once a month. Lets just round this high and say that is 20% of the swinger population. However, many that attend the Moose and other clubs are the same that attend Sinful. Similar crowd and often an overlap. So still nowhere near a majority, or even a large percent. In fact, quite the opposite. This scene is well in the minority. So I am submitting that this really isn't and accurate assessment of the situation and based on more of a sense or feeling than actual fact. What this tells us then is that most of the people in the lifestyle are not meeting at clubs and are not necessarily dancing and staying up until all hours of the night but are finding other avenues where they meet. What other options are out there. Venus Game night, Kandy K, Sensual Massage... These venues are not club scenes, are a relaxed place and quiet enough to talk without "using hand signals". There still might be music and a dance floor, but there are certainly quite areas to talk, socialize and sometimes even fuck, if that is your scene. I would estimate that as many or more people attend these type of events and for most of these it is an older crowd who is more apt to be in bed at an earlier hour, though that is also an assumption and assumptions are obviously a poor way to derive information or determine a truth. I would question if any of the people in this forum have attending these more mellow parties and what they didn't like about that. The loud music is gone, it is a great way to meet many nice, non-pushy people with similar interests and since the crowd is a bit more mature (probably not the Venus parties) then there would be people of similar interests there. Now it may be of benefit of the party hosts to start earlier, say 6 or 7, so the activities can finish up earlier and I'm sure the hosts would entertain that if it was a common complaint. Apart from these types of parties and club scenes the only other way to meet people in a group setting are house parties, although keep in mind the Sinful hosts to things outside of the club but the crowd will usually still be the same people who attend the Sinful Club parties so are probably younger and okay with staying up late and partying, so probably not for the majority of people responding on this forum looking for an early-to-bed group. Let's talk about house parties. The ones we host sometimes have upwards of 60 or 70 people. These are people we have met before, for the most part, and we don't invite random people to these. We have an area to dance, music, but also areas that are quiet. The party starts around 7 and goes until... whenever. 6 am at times, but many leave before that. These aren't orgy parties and people don't show up expecting that. We also do game nights where we have 3-5 couples over for games, drinks, no dancing, hot tub, etc. Also people we know. We have been to many house parties as well and it is usually people we have met before. We are very leery of parties where there is some expectation to show up and fuck. We avoid these. Not our scene. But these house parties are out there. The doors close at 9, naked by 10, fucking by 1015. You are expected to fuck someone. Definitely not for us but definitely an okay and acceptable thing for others. Judgment is such an incredibly hypocritical thing in the lifestyle and I am astounded by how many people judge others. It is one thing to not enjoy a certain thing and to stay away from it, but it demean it, negate the validity of it and try to reduce the people who do it is completely asinine. My point is there is a variety, a full spectrum to every aspect of the lifestyle. From people looking only to make friends to people only looking to fuck. There is no right and wrong or black and white. We have so many good friends now that we feel super fortunate and blessed every day. But how did we meet those friends. Here is the key. Through hard work. Through dinner dates, clubs, social events, house parties and networking. Remember, this is my opinion, so please, readers, don't get offended. If you limit yourself to one avenue your success will be limited and you will have very few options in finding that fun couple that you click with. Many of our friends that we have met at a club typically like to be in bed at 10, or sometimes like to stay up late. Some of the people we have met in the most casual environment turn out to be crazy, fun party animals. I'm not saying if you don't attend the clubs you won't find what you are looking for especially since we have already determined that the club scene is so small. What I am saying is that if you are expecting a one-stop shop, or a fix-all, your success will be super limited. Your goal, I believe, is to meet as many people as possible and then sort through those you like and don't like until you are satisfied with your results. If you label the "club scene" as negative in your own mind, you might also be inadvertently labeling other fun activities and only reinforcing the confirmation bias you already have. Don't limit yourself to one way of finding friends, especially since it sounds like it isn't working that well for you now. We have found friends in every imaginable situation. Single dates, group dates, vacations, house parties and yes, clubs. I know our way works simply by the amount of amazing people that surround us and we call friends, and yes, some friends with benefits. Taking the time to start a topic is a good idea. The people on here all seem to have a similar interest and maybe some of you will take advantage of that, meet, and if things align, you make new friends. Maybe there is a need for a group to form that meets around 6 and finishes around 10 where only wine is served and only soft music is playing in the background. If so, take the initiative and form such a group. Create your own success. Maybe there needs to be a better way to post smaller events where only a few couples are going camping, coffee drinking, or similar. And maybe it is on Swingular and just not being utilized correctly. I'm sure with enough feedback the site could be fitted with such a feature. So don't despair. There are many, many people with similar interests and needs. You just have to find them. Each scene and venue has positives and negatives. Try to focus on the negative and utilize the resources that they are and you just might find your holy grail of FWB or what else it is you are looking for. Good job on the topic and hopefully that perfect couple is just around the corner. Mr. SRO...................................................................................................

Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - Interesting - We are mid-valley SLC