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Exclusive Couples - couples who are committed to another couple - Ok! You have heard from someone who is poly....ME. But we are still swingers and no one expects us to be exclusive either.... anymore than we expect them to remain true to us and us alone. Polyamorous is a conjunction of a Greek and a Latin word. Means to love more than one.....I don't fall in love with everyone that we have sex with but I do have 2 secondary relationships. One woman is separated and we met her in the lifestyle.. We love, yes WE love her as much as people can feel love. The other were seeing what swinging was about and came to a club that we attend. The lady and I started talking and then on line and we discovered that we loved each other. I stopped by their house and talked to her husband and we, that couple and us are great friends and she and I are lovers.... and everything is open and above board. Recently while I was in the hospital from a heart attack, they came to visit everyday. So poly really isn't about swinging at all but there are poly people in swinging who are looking for exclusive relationships... I let people know that I'm poly because if the lady and I hit it off...... I don't want any surprises... BUT I never go looking for that type of loving relationship in the swinging community, i.e., "the lifestyle"
I think that some people use the word without a true understanding of what poly really is... Poly can involve sexual relationships but those are based on love not sexual recreation. My wife is not basically poly however, she loves that lady who is not attached as much as I do... so in a way she may be poly but does not wish to define herself that way.
When talking about poly and swinging one has to make a distinction as to what people are looking for in a relationship. And, let's not kid ourselves...swinging and sex with people outside of your marriage or relationship is really a relationship aleit maybe a short lived one but one all the same.
I'm just a person who can and does love more than one person. Like being hetro or BI or whatever..... that's just part of my make up.. I have chosen to be a swinger and if it lead to something I hope that I have let people know ahead of time and found out their feelings on that possibility... If they are not open to that but are sexually attracted, then we can keep it on that basis and I simply have to be aware. I think it can best be analoged to a couple or one of the partners in a couple being bi. They find a couple to play with but that couple are not bi or have no curiosity in that bent.... So they play and the bi part is never an issue because they discussed it beforehand and everybody was fine with the situation....
I belong to a poly group here in my state. the group is more a discussion group although they get together once a month and every mon or Fri to discuss poly issues. Most of the people who are in that group, over 300, will say that poly and swinging are two entirely separate issues and they are totally unrelated. There are a number of members, both single and couples, who are also listed on swinger sites....They are looking for sexual companionship and maybe, if it happens, loving relationships... So poly and swinging are not so exclusive nor does it mean that poly swingers are only looking for LTRs any more than bi women will only play with couples who have bi women in them.... Being poly of Bi ain't an issue...playing is...
There may be some who are in the lifestyle to find lovers... Easy to find out and make a decission about....
Policing Ourselves - Can it be done? - Policing ourselves, can it be done? NO!
Advice for a newbie, LOL! I would say "RUN, run away as fast as you can!"
Seriously the first thing I would say to a new person/couple is "What ever you think swinging is, its not."
I think that with each couple comes different rules, as well as with each different scenario. How can you have a set precedence with as many different types of people that are even on this site alone? Let alone in the lifestyle.
I have often wondered why swingers would even have rules, I think the lifestyle is about the moment and with each moment you should take it as it comes. But that's just my opinion.
To set ground rules is to invite anarchy. Why bother?, a person either has respect, or they don't period. For every rule you could come up with someone could justify breaking it.
My 2 cents.
~K~
Now that you're one of them there fancy swingers... - - Reading that, I don't like the direction this is liable to go already....
I REALLY mean a Danish GIRL! Honest! Outwitted..again...damn
Question - do you talk about other swingers? - Yes and no. We don't say we play with John and Jane Doe every week. We might say we know of Jane and John if it comes up in conversation.
Another Swingers Show on TV - - video clips are available on the website - http://health.discovery.com/tv-shows/secret-sex-lives-swingers/secret-sex-lives-swingers-videos/hali-throws-a-swinger-party.htm
Mormons - - the2ovus: My response to the mormon question has always been "yes, but I've never been very good at it"
Both hubby and I grew up in lds homes, did what the parents wanted us too - then woke up one day as adults and realized we could actually choose for ourselves what made us happy. I don't think it's a fair judgement (then again is any judgement fair?) to look down upon Mormons who are practicing their religion and practicing in the lifestyle. Maybe they aren't very good at either one just yet! My vote is to encourage them to look within and find out what brings them true inner peace and go with it, no matter the path they choose.
I've never made the connection between the couples that chat till your fingers fall off and never meet to Mormons. I think there are a LOT of scared folks.... just wish I could tell them apart!
Funny thing to me is that no-one ever asks if the couples that are down south are bible bashing baptists and swingers too, just due to their location. Why is it Mormons end up looking like hypocrites when religion is in debate?
*can you tell there are some Mormons in my life I love and will defend with my life?*
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - we were kinda getting busy last night when the story aired, and just now watched it on the web. Wanted to add something useful to this thread, but see that it has taken a downward, spiraling turn into some geeky abyss.
Playing with \"swingers\" vs \"nonswingers\" - - I would not worry so much that the young guy in question is too eager. Thats common with the young ones. You need to talk with him and make sure he understands what descretion means and what you expect of him before and after. Will he keep his mouth shut to his buddies and protect your privacy? This is what worries us with the young ones.
Most of the guys we have talked with that were supposidly in the \"lifestyle\" turned out to just be married guys looking to score on the side or guys who ran across the web site trying to get laid. We only met one man who really was a regular swinger type. Its always a crap shoot.
Your a hot looking woman, Im sure he is eager to try you.
What are swingers really looking for ?Are they looking for frien - Has the happen to you. - Heres a bit of advice from a cpl that has had it the reverse we ARE NOT looking for only one sided play (which is what your profile tends to indicate). If you say what YOU BOTH want and MEAN what you say then possibly you will get a better response. Try shortening up your profile make it clear EXACTLY what you BOTH are looking for simply say in LARGE BOLD LETTTERS Looking for Ladies ONLY single or married your husband can be there but he is going to just WATCH. WE WANT FRIENDS FIRST DON't PUSH US we want to get to know you as FRIENDS not rulling out future sex (LADY to LADY) but, LADY to LADY SEX is the ONLY thing we are looking for.
Reading your profile there are somes misleading things its not very clear and very contradictary. Since we re-wrote and re-wrote our profile we no longer get as many wrong hits on our profile. We say it clear FULL SWAP ONLY ! O.K. That is our opinion hope it helps and hope you can clear your profile of the misleading statements and that you do trully find what you are BOTH looking for.
S&N
Do the booty calls actually work? - - It does work, but your location does turn alot of potential swingers away. . Just something about going out of state. Come out to Wendover this saturday night and have some fun with us.
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