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Are you more or less tolerant? - - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]We think that in regards to your own appearance that you just cannot take the negativity that will be thrown your way too seriously. When we first formed this profile there was a group that threw parties that had a strict "undressed code" as to how you should look naked. A lot of people understandably got offended and there was a lot of banter and unfriendliness in the forums. We actually got several invitations, from some members of that group to join. We declined the invitations but we were surprised we were invited. For all the banter back and forth we would not have been welcome due to our age and or some sort of flaw in the body. Perhaps the exclusivity was the sell point and the members were more average than you would expect. Not that there is anything wrong with average. What the hell is average appearance anyway? Acceptance meant you were a notch above the rest in the eyes of the members as in the only true swingers. Does feeling sexy about yourself have to come at the expense of others? I do not know if that group still exist anymore. The founder fell in love and went monogamous last I knew. Well about that same time we submitted application as it were to join an older longer established group that puts together parties because we thought the parties looked like fun. About 60 days after our submission to join the group was sent we got back an e-mail declining our participation. We could get upset and lose time and joy wondering if we just were not sexy enough to be considered among the elite or we could just move on and know we were still going to find new and exciting people and adventures anyway. The real reasons for denial are only found within the person or persons that said no and if they have their reasons those same reasons do not make them bad people. I like to think that way at least. Mrs. Delicious just told me, as she was walking out the door to an appointment, that if they don't like her there must be something wrong with them. We can imagine until the cows come home and we will probably never guess right and it really does not matter anyway. I like to think the group, that told us no, is fun and is having fun but will just not know us. You cannot be part of everything anyway. The tendency for us to imagine that any group that might reject us is full of miserable losers that would not know sexy if it bit them is not good for us and the no was probably delivered with a lot less intolerance than we are imagining. I think we should concentrate on discovering more joy by fully focusing on the doors that are open to us. We are all going to get rejected from time to time and it might hurt but don't dwell on it. Opportunities to connect and to live and love surround us all.
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Well written my friend and as a single male in this lifestyle this is something that needs to be preached and practiced
Observations from the other side of the room - How to enjoy the lifestyle as a single male - I am not the expert, but I believe that the amount of time that I have been in the lifestyle and the friends I have made gives me some sense of how to have the best time
I have debated whether to write this but I think that those single men who read will benefit. SWINGULAR is an adult dating site, advertised as a swingers hub. Most men who join are well idiots at first. I have received countless questions from other guys about my "luck". Luck has nothing to do with it. The Swingers lifestyle or non monagamous lifestyle isn't new, but many members are. Here are some basic things that will enable you to enjoy the experience.
Single men are not unique. It doesn't matter how hot you think you are or how big your cock is, if you are an ass, just stay at the bar. Single women and couples are who we, assuming heterosexual and even bisexual men, are interested in meeting. Remember guys, asking if the person is down to fuck isn't going to work. I am not the expert, but I have been in the lifestyle for six years and met a number of couples and single women.
My advice is to make friends. Even plutonic friends who invite you to parties and outings will ensure that you meet people who you have chemistry with.
Find a 'sponsor ' so to speak. Word of mouth is more valuable than a testimonial on your profile.
Don't try hiding what you say to the wife from the husband. My rule of thumb is that when I am taking to the wife, I assume everything will be seen by both. Basically if you don't want the husband to see something, don't write it.
This is a short list of things and by no means authoritative, but it has helped me to enjoy the experience.
Go turn on Oprah - re:swingers - This show is a repeat. she had this on several months ago... I like that she allowed the people to express what swinging is all about.
MSNBC Article on Swingers - actually a positive one :) - We are members of this club.We have been for about three years now. Tabu is a great place to go and meet people or just have fun. There have been many times we (hubby & I) have went to only have sex with each other.
For someone who knows nothing about our lifestyle to go on Blackout night that says a lot about them. There are many themed parties every weekend!!
I would encourge any and all who live in this area or visit add Tabu to your to do list!!! Fun will be had by all!!
P&J
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - Hi. So we are in our late 20's and have realized there are not many other people our age active on here. If you're in your 20's, 30's or 40's, drop us a line below, or feel free to slide our DM's ;)
While the Wife is Away The Husband Will Play?? - - Ya know, I have traveled out of town alone and could have played with my wifes permission, but when I have contacted a couple I got pretty much the "yea right" response. We have received e-mails just like mine and kinda have responded the same way. So I gave it up and that was ok. So as I would sit in my room in some exciting city drinking alone reading this forum (how pathetic!) I came to the conclusion, I just wanted to hang out with swingers. Its not that I even really wanted to hook up just wanted to meet some locals and who better than with this group?
C.
A&E New show about swingers... - neighbors with benefits.... - Have it on our DVR but haven't watched it yet. Expecting a lot of manufactured "drama". I heard there would be a "Christian couple" as a counterpoint to these disgusting heathens. Also, in case anyone is wondering, Warren County Ohio is NOT a hotbed of swinging. Clicking thru a few stills from the promos they got one thing right. The red Solo cups they're drinking out of. [em]Emo_67[/em]
Doubt it will make it unless a bunch of vanillas stumble on it and watch it for a vicarious thrill. Usually shows like these THINK they're being titillating when in fact they're just being judgmental and if that's how they edit it they'll attract a few crazy religious people who will watch it with disgust (while likely being secretly turned on) and the self satisfaction that at least THEY aren't going to hell. [em]Emo_84[/em]
Swingers article on CANOE network (Canandian) - Article link. - Cool! Why can't we all just get a-thong?
Identifying Swingers! - Lots of talk and now some action! :) - ok thanks i had not heard of that yet sounds interesting
Certified Single Male Program - What do you think? - I personally see this life style as a community. The Good, the Bad; and the Ugly are all here in microcosm. I think we can all use a little education and improvement. That does not mean that anyone person that takes that instruction will change his or her ways. But it does not hurt to try it. I have read the information that is available here and think that everyone should do so. I believe that such a program will limit the population of single men by keeping some of those that are here only for trophy sex out. Those that really believe in the lifestyle as a community will be willing to put forth the effort to be part of it. I think this will actually increase the number of couples and swinging singles that are willing to join and pay money for the privilege.
Swingular actually feels like a site for swingers where AFF has become nothing but a sex site for those that like to look and send emails. If you think that the number of single males is large here you should look there and I assume that most of you have. The majority of the women and couples there are non-paying. It does not appear that this is the case on Swingular. The admin here seem to care about this community and AFF could not care less. The fact that they are willing to put this out in open forum tells me that they do care about their customers. I have not seen the same from other sites.
I would like admin to put something more solidly together and then let us pick at it. Most systems can and should be tweaked from time to time. Maybe we can make some good observations and maybe we won
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