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Tired of Politics and Religion! - - I humbly suggest that you folks get a grip! I believe this site is a national site? Do you hear the rest of the nation bitching when the forum turns into a Utah date-a-thon every Thursday through Saturday? Personally, it doesn't do a whole hell of a lot for me! Therefore, I should suggest you all knock it off? If all you care to converse about 24/7 is sex, maybe it would be a good idea to find additional outlets for your narrowly focused world! The popularity of some of the current threads would indicate to me that some swingers are able to discuss real life situations as well. Politics and religion are hot button topics and elicit strong emotions. Name-calling is likely to be a result. Solution - DON"T READ non-sex related threads. I don't happen to like name-calling, so I'm usually able to resist the temptation. But, the narrow-minded responses on this thread so far have me working on a few. :) Dale

Swinging and Children Don't Mix With Me, What about You? - Unforgettable experience - I have to say, having children and trying to meet with couples can be very hard on your lifestlye. Family always comes first in my book, but it doesn't seem like every parent thinks that, which is why I'm letting you know why they should start thinking about it. We thought that maybe if we could meet with a couple that also have a child or has children, that we could have a better, lasting relationship and have other things to enjoy with these couples, besides just swinging. Well, one couple didn't work out with us and I don't know how to go about letting them know they were wrong in what happened. I'm the only one that even seemed to get upset about the situation and I wanted to get others opionion to make sure I don't owe an opology to them. Here's what happened..... Me and my husband met with a couple at a swingers club, which was off-premise, and we talked some and explained we had children and that we wanted to meet with couples, but it was hard with younsters and it was also hard to find a reliable and trusting babysitter to be able to enjoy the night out. They the told us they had a child and that if we wanted to talk more and get to know each other better, that we could come to their home for a dinner, with our kids. Now...we explained up front that we don't play seperate and we definitely did not play if we had our children with us. They said that it wouldn't be a problem, no hank-panky with kids around, because they too had a small one. This sounded really great to us, because we thought we found a good couple to be friends with and have some extra benefits too, if we wanted. Well, things started out okay. We were greeted at the door by the family, and our kids was introduced to their child, and was showed some computer games and such to play. That gave us time to talk a little to the couple and was shown the outside of their home and such before dinner. After dinner is when everything went WRONG. First, I had to go to the bathroom. Well, while I was gone to the bathroom, the Mrs. decide to give my hubby a tour of the rest of the house, mainly the extra bedroom....and when I asked the hubby where my hubby was, he said.."Don't worry about them, they'll be okay for awhile"...well, that really ticked me off, especially knowing our children were now mixed up in this...and our oldest asking where his daddy went with that lady.....that was about the last straw for me....but I was in these peoples home, not mine, and I respect others homes, but in this situation, I was ready to leave, and without my other half....because he too knew our rules of playing. Well, when the Mrs. and mine came back up, my other half knew I was mad, but for some strange reason, he felt like he had to still play around with her, and in the same room all the children were in!!!! Not to mention, she couldn't keep her hands off him, which was not making my situation of trying to calm down any easier. When I finally got my hubby alone, I "very persistantly" told him me and the kids were leaving...NOW..and if he was smart he had better be out the front door before me or I would leave him there, and I truely meant it. I was so angry and hurt by all of the happenings around me, I thought that if this is what it's like to try and swing...FORGET IT...my nerves or marriage weren't going to stay together if this is what I had to look forward to everytime. My hubby didn't get out the door before me..he was too busy kissing the Mrs good-bye....and I mean french-kissing..... but, thank Goodness I got the kids out the door before me....and that didn't help out any on his part, believe me. We stopped swinging for many years after that because of trust with one another and with other couples saying one thing and then doing another. This particular couple apparently feels that nothing was wrong with what happened, and actually contacted us again after many, many, many years after this incident happened. I'm not one either to "shun" anyone, but this expereince really bothered me then, and still does, and after them contacting us again, through an e-mail, not by phone, it makes me wonder about my feelings on the matter. Am I wrong to feel this way, even after all these years? I do trust my husband NOW, after the bad expereinces, because there was one more after that, but it took alot of talking, yelling, and regaining a trust that is hard to achieve after something that drastic that involved your kids in the process. I e-mailed them back, but I know it was short and blunt, nothing mean, I don't do things like that, but what if they try again to contact us...what do I say? Any help/advice/opinions is appreciated. Hope no one ever has to expereince something like this...most marriages would never have lasted unless you really had a great understanding with your mate, and we put ours to the test and passed.......barely.

Just between Us - Is there anything that you don't do with a swinging partner that you keep just between you and your partner? - After talking with several different swingers, I have often wondered if there were sexual acts that couples preferred not to do with a swinging partner.

How to add an event? - Looking into adding an event. - A friend of ours is operating a local club and wants to promote a swingers night. We were asked if we could potentially help with this. We'd like to create an event on the events page. But I'm not sure how. I'm assuming there is some additional verification that has to take place first? Also i know many events seem to be restricted to couples and single females, is it a bad idea to open events up to everyone? This would be a semi public venue so it would be difficult to restrict attendees.

A&E New show about swingers... - neighbors with benefits.... - For the love of all things good ladies and gentlemen......get some male photos in your profiles. Its like shopping for beef at the farmers market

Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - Ok, This is going to insult an awful lot of people. You

KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - I wouldn't go as far as saying swinging isn't entirely blameless in breakups. We were counting last summer and the number of swinger friends who've divorced over the years was well past 60 couples. The old adage from way back when we started swinging was, "Swinging can make a good marriage better but will almost always make a bad marriage worse."

Anyone have advice for event planning? - - Look up Lifestyle Lounge. It's the top Swingers site in CA, especially SoCal. Mr. Sexperimentors

Soft-core roll call - A call out to those interested in the softer side. - Canvas, It sounds like you and your wife are not quite on the same page yet, which is quite normal at the beginning of exploring the Lifestyle. You are looking for friendships with those who are in a similar situation. That's a good idea, but be prepared that even those friendships may be fleeting as the chemistry or level of comfort may still be different. At the beginning of our lifestyle journey, my wife and I were just as you are today, (I was also at a different level as my wife too). TheFunCouple offers excellent advice on going to meet & greets. I also add that you might want to check out a place like Sea Mountain Inn in Palm Springs. There you can see how comfortable it is to be nude in front of others and witness all the different levels of the lifestyle. You will have opportunities to talk to others and learn more. There is no pressure to play. Plus, you will be out of Utah and away from people who might recognize you. If you are adventurous enough, maybe plan a vacation to Temptations Resort in Mexico. This resort is not truly a lifestyle resort but is a lifestyle friendly resort since so many non swingers go there. It still is a sexually charged resort. You will meet a lot of people who are similar to you there and you have a whole week to be relaxed, get into vacation mode, and explore your steps into the lifestyle together without judgement or pressure.

Question - do you talk about other swingers? - I think most of us have talked about who we have met before, but there is a line that shouldn't be crossed when talking about others. Like Canitb said...it will come back on them. I think it is nice to hear that another person has "recommended" someone...LOL Isn't that kind of what the real and VIP seal is? If someone is GREAT to "hang out" with, hell I want to meet them. I mean, we NEVER talk bad about someone, but it's good to talk nicely about others. Or am I wrong?