Poor editing aside, I thought this Buzzfeed article had clear explanations and the flow chart is a great start; polyamory seems to have as many personal definitions as there are people who identify as polyamorous.
Haha that flow chart was very well done! I am both polyamorous but I also love casual sex... I think it describes it very well.
As I'm still very new to all this, I'm curious what could have been added that's a universally accurate trait or experience.
It is pretty much accurate as is. It, in my opinion, is an excellent depiction of what it is to be polyamorous, both the good and bad. I just recently started becoming more active in the community and the jealousy part is 100% on point. It's interesting to see couples and triads work through their jealousy issues together as lovers.
Hilarious article. I could write a book on all the backfires we've witnessed in swinger's lives who've dabbled in PA. But hey, if it floats yet boat I say knock yourself out.
JOHN8404 wrote:
It is pretty much accurate as is. It, in my opinion, is an excellent depiction of what it is to be polyamorous, both the good and bad. I just recently started becoming more active in the community and the jealousy part is 100% on point. It's interesting to see couples and triads work through their jealousy issues together as lovers.
Triad makes it sound so badass, almost worth pursuing solely to say I'm part of a triad. :Clint Eastwood squint:
From the outside I have to wonder how empathic each participant needs to be in order for the arrangement to succeed. Then again, what would their success even look like? Absence of jealousy?
No, jealously from what I've seen is inevitable. Pretty much as the article says, the partners have to work through it together. Success is just being happy and loving just like any other successful relationship.
I view PA as good practice for when Pres. Monson reinstates polygamy. It's only a matter of time with gay and animal marriage legal now.
Am SO gonna get my heavenly harem! 
Just a couple comments. No, it isn't all about sex, although a lot of people think it is. The sex part is just a part of the feelings part, even if it is an important part. Even sex isn't ALL about sex, at least for some people. And I often suspect it isn't even for the people who think sex is just sex, period.
And I just don't do jealousy. Love isn't a zero sum game. Despite what the world would have everyone believe, nobody starts out with, say, 100 units of love to give, so if they gives some of it to one person there's that much less left for another person. Or other people. Her loving someone else doesn't diminish her love for me. But I can, I suppose, do worry. If something was going on that made me feel like her love for me was diminishing. But her having something going on with someone besides just me is not enough, in and of itself, to do that. ~ Terry
And I just don't do jealousy. Love isn't a zero sum game. Despite what the world would have everyone believe, nobody starts out with, say, 100 units of love to give, so if they gives some of it to one person there's that much less left for another person. Or other people. Her loving someone else doesn't diminish her love for me. But I can, I suppose, do worry. If something was going on that made me feel like her love for me was diminishing. But her having something going on with someone besides just me is not enough, in and of itself, to do that. ~ Terry
CHEFFETTE wrote:JOHN8404 wrote:
It is pretty much accurate as is. It, in my opinion, is an excellent depiction of what it is to be polyamorous, both the good and bad. I just recently started becoming more active in the community and the jealousy part is 100% on point. It's interesting to see couples and triads work through their jealousy issues together as lovers.
Triad makes it sound so badass, almost worth pursuing solely to say I'm part of a triad. :Clint Eastwood squint:
From the outside I have to wonder how empathic each participant needs to be in order for the arrangement to succeed. Then again, what would their success even look like? Absence of jealousy?
Ever hear a song by Jefferson Airplane named "Triad"? It was written by David Crosby when he was in the Byrds, but first released by Jefferson Airplane, then by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. it didn't show up on a Byrds album until '87, on an "archival" album. The airplane version is the best one.
~ Terry
The article is fun!
Quite a few people, by nature, tend to gravitate toward pair bonding with one person long, long term and frankly prefer spending most of their time and energy, including their romantic and sexual energy mostly with that person. That would be the two of us. It isn
Quite a few people, by nature, tend to gravitate toward pair bonding with one person long, long term and frankly prefer spending most of their time and energy, including their romantic and sexual energy mostly with that person. That would be the two of us. It isn
[quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]The article is fun!
Quite a few people, by nature, tend to gravitate toward pair bonding with one person long, long term and frankly prefer spending most of their time and energy, including their romantic and sexual energy mostly with that person. That would be the two of us. It isn
Quite a few people, by nature, tend to gravitate toward pair bonding with one person long, long term and frankly prefer spending most of their time and energy, including their romantic and sexual energy mostly with that person. That would be the two of us. It isn
KIDSATPLAY wrote:
"Even sex isn't All about sex" I liked that Terry
I liked the flow chart but the article tended to focus a lot on drama over jealousy, over awkwardness in explaining the relationship to others, being overwhelmed and life getting complicated.
It seems the more we leave the negative ideas and emotions alone (about swinging or polyness), they just blow through like dark clouds moving through the valley that never hurt anyone because you just ignore them. Most of the time a negative feeling does not constitute a real problem.
We watch out for real errors and deal with them in a formal adult manner.
We never try to explain the relationship to others and not really to ourselves all that much. It is just a gift from the unseen hand so why try to over analyze it?
It also seems like the polyamorous relationship is win-win-x-n for all, that's why it is pursued, so life actually becomes more about improved quality. Special needs that one's primary mate has difficulty always fulfilling are handled by another and reciprocity, etc; etc. Life with extended family actually becomes less complicated and the thought of disbanding, is viewed as a step backwards.
In regards to the bolded, you're not suggesting that problems are ignored w/ the expectation they go away, are you? If I'm oversimplifying, let me know.