m
Wrong Ally
I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one!
g
OMG: How can something so damned sick - be so damned funny?
LOL
LOL
There was a knock on the door this past Saturday morning.
I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing there who said:
"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
So I said "Come in and sit down."
I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked "What do you want to talk about?"
He said, "Beats the shit out of me - nobody ever let me in before."
I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing there who said:
"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
So I said "Come in and sit down."
I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked "What do you want to talk about?"
He said, "Beats the shit out of me - nobody ever let me in before."
m
Religion is like penis, it
p
[quote=WHYNOTSAYHI]Religion is like penis, it
Blah Blah Blah Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
SECRET_MEETINGS wrote:Oh my
I am sorry but this is a Humor tread not a political tread. Plus as you put it - the country and the future is already screwed...... due to the last few years. It was the other candidate, that is for his gay friend. You should remove this here and add it to the political tread.
SECRET_MEETINGS wrote:
I am sorry but this is a Humor tread not a political tread. Plus as you put it - the country and the future is already screwed...... due to the last few years. It was the other candidate, that is for his gay friend. You should remove this here and add it to the political tread.
What is it that you object to? The Blah blah blah or the picture? If it is the picture, is it because the flag is behind two men with bare chests.
If you are truly open minded the picture should not offend you. To me the picture only shows a friendship between two men. The picture does not imply that they are gay. That would be your interpretation. And if they were, what of it? There is nothing wrong with it.
If you are so closed minded then any negative implication seems to be your problem. Since when has this become a vanilla moral site?
I find it mildly amusing and that is only considering the crap I receive from bigots about the other side with the same kind of picture. When will this nation grow up and realize that all must be represented equally. The words are not 'with liberty and bigotry for all'.
People should be allowed to post whatever and whenever the want. Unless I feel it is offensive or slightly contrary to what I believe, then the behavior must be regulated and condemned.
Bob
Bob
SUGARSANDSPICE wrote:SECRET_MEETINGS wrote:
I am sorry but this is a Humor tread not a political tread. Plus as you put it - the country and the future is already screwed...... due to the last few years. It was the other candidate, that is for his gay friend. You should remove this here and add it to the political tread.
What is it that you object to? The Blah blah blah or the picture? If it is the picture, is it because the flag is behind two men with bare chests.
If you are truly open minded the picture should not offend you. To me the picture only shows a friendship between two men. The picture does not imply that they are gay. That would be your interpretation. And if they were, what of it? There is nothing wrong with it.
If you are so closed minded then any negative implication seems to be your problem. Since when has this become a vanilla moral site?
I find it mildly amusing and that is only considering the crap I receive from bigots about the other side with the same kind of picture. When will this nation grow up and realize that all must be represented equally. The words are not 'with liberty and bigotry for all'.
Amen thank you
IDCPL4FUN69 wrote:
People should be allowed to post whatever and whenever the want. Unless I feel it is offensive or slightly contrary to what I believe, then the behavior must be regulated and condemned.
Bob
Could not agree more
Personally I am still upset by the half assed choice of Ryan, should have gone balls deep into the front pocket of big business.
Religions of the world
Love this one.
XOXO, Brandy
XOXO, Brandy
COSMOPOLITANT wrote:SECRET_MEETINGS wrote:Oh my
I am sorry but this is a Humor tread not a political tread. Plus as you put it - the country and the future is already screwed...... due to the last few years. It was the other candidate, that is for his gay friend. You should remove this here and add it to the political tread.
I do not get offended when people open their mouths and show their ignorance or even type it on the internet.
Kids!
Yep. We are at it again. When you don't like how something turns out it is always the other guy or someone else that cheated because what you want is the only true outcome and anything else is a lie.
You know... We as swingers already have one social fopa being sex. Do we really need to add anothor being politics? I don't think so, there's already a sickening cloud surrounding politics this year. Hell if we really want to go off the deep end lets throw religen in there too, that way we hit all the basses.
CARRIERMANANDGEEKGIRL wrote:
I'm the one who created the Daily Chuckles thread.
It was NOT intended to be a political forum - it was meant to be humorous.
I never anticipated it being hijacked by jackasses with an agenda.
I created it - I can delete it.
Just let me know, folks.
What will it be, a source of laughter we can all enjoy - or only a memory?
Doesn't matter to me - won't take any money out of MY pocket if the assholes win.
I am so building this.
Your next.
CARRIERMANANDGEEKGIRL wrote:
Why does this have to be JUST FOR MEN? lol
Ten Facts About You
There are only 10 facts.
Well ... 10 items. Whether or not they are facts is ... um ... debatable.
l
CEO
A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can't believe this guy would just stand around on the job.
The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, "What are you doing here?"
"I'm just waiting to get paid," responds the man.
Furious, the CEO asks "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow replies, "I make about $300 a week. Why?"
The CEO quickly gets out his checkbook, hands the guy a check made out to cash for $1,200 and says, "Here's four weeks' pay, now get out and don't come back."
The man puts the check in his pocket and promptly walks out.
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what just happened here?"
From across the room comes a voice, "Yeah, you just tipped the pizza delivery guy $1,200."
A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can't believe this guy would just stand around on the job.
The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, "What are you doing here?"
"I'm just waiting to get paid," responds the man.
Furious, the CEO asks "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow replies, "I make about $300 a week. Why?"
The CEO quickly gets out his checkbook, hands the guy a check made out to cash for $1,200 and says, "Here's four weeks' pay, now get out and don't come back."
The man puts the check in his pocket and promptly walks out.
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what just happened here?"
From across the room comes a voice, "Yeah, you just tipped the pizza delivery guy $1,200."
CARRIERMANANDGEEKGIRL wrote:
CEO
A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can't believe this guy would just stand around on the job.
The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, "What are you doing here?"
"I'm just waiting to get paid," responds the man.
Furious, the CEO asks "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow replies, "I make about $300 a week. Why?"
The CEO quickly gets out his checkbook, hands the guy a check made out to cash for $1,200 and says, "Here's four weeks' pay, now get out and don't come back."
The man puts the check in his pocket and promptly walks out.
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what just happened here?"
From across the room comes a voice, "Yeah, you just tipped the pizza delivery guy $1,200."
Damn I think I need to lean against the walls more often....
p
Actually, this isn't really funny - more of a pathetic reality.
GENTLEMEN, REMEMBER ALL OF THIS WELL ........................
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy!!
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow. (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer. (-5)
PROTECTIVE DUTIES
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)
You fire your gun rather than go out to check the noise. (-200)
You pummel something with an iron rod. (+10)
It turns out to be her pet. (-20)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side for the entire party. (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer. (-20)
Tina has implants. (-80)
YOUR ANNIVERSARY
You take her out to dinner. (+2)
You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)
You buy her a kitchen appliance or vacuum cleaner. (-300)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie. (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
(Yes, you lose points no matter what your response)
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
You give any other response. (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy!!
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow. (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer. (-5)
PROTECTIVE DUTIES
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)
You fire your gun rather than go out to check the noise. (-200)
You pummel something with an iron rod. (+10)
It turns out to be her pet. (-20)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side for the entire party. (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer. (-20)
Tina has implants. (-80)
YOUR ANNIVERSARY
You take her out to dinner. (+2)
You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)
You buy her a kitchen appliance or vacuum cleaner. (-300)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie. (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
(Yes, you lose points no matter what your response)
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
You give any other response. (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)
CARRIERMANANDGEEKGIRL
I had to look at your it is confusing joke a dozen times before I god it. Must be getting old. LOL
I had to look at your it is confusing joke a dozen times before I god it. Must be getting old. LOL
yup
Halloween costume ideas 
no need to send me hate mail....
s
..
$7 dollar sex for seniors.
An Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?' The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?' The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.' And he charges them $50.
The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row ...
The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leaves.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?' The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married; so we can't go to her house. I'm married; so we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. We do it here for $50, and Medicare pays $43 of it.
An Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?' The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?' The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.' And he charges them $50.
The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row ...
The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leaves.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?' The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married; so we can't go to her house. I'm married; so we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. We do it here for $50, and Medicare pays $43 of it.
i never knew...
NO, NO - NOT WITHOUT A WASHER!!!
yup
oh yeah
This is what I think of when I read that someone is shy at first but then watch out....
h
(o) (o)
.......
.......
Cute
poor ken
gotta be naked to get this...
oh wait...
yupper
ok
joy of being single!
MR_DICK_C wrote:
joy of being single!
Love it
a
Fred and Fiona were making mad passionate love in Fred's Astra van when suddenly Fiona (being a bit kinky) yells out:
"Oh fat boy, whip me, whip me!"
Fred, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, but not having a whip to hand, in a flash of inspiration, opens a window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Fiona until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy.
About a week later, Fiona notices that the marks left by the whipping session are not healing and are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.
The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks: "Did you get these marks having sex?"
Fiona a little too embarrassed that she had even slept with Fred let alone allowed him to indulge in her own kinky desires, eventually admits "Yes, I did."
Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor says: "I thought so, in all my years as a doctor, this is the worst case of van aerial disease I've ever seen."
"Oh fat boy, whip me, whip me!"
Fred, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, but not having a whip to hand, in a flash of inspiration, opens a window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Fiona until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy.
About a week later, Fiona notices that the marks left by the whipping session are not healing and are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.
The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks: "Did you get these marks having sex?"
Fiona a little too embarrassed that she had even slept with Fred let alone allowed him to indulge in her own kinky desires, eventually admits "Yes, I did."
Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor says: "I thought so, in all my years as a doctor, this is the worst case of van aerial disease I've ever seen."
run
1
So I came home from work the other day and asked for a blow job. The wife starts in with the old "How about a little romance line" so thinking on my feet I say "OK how about if I light a candle then a blow job".
luck this is not me...
yup
Yea Football