8 Tips For Winning an Argument on the Internet
by Dr. Inside-Out
Whether it's on a forum or in a chat room, arguments and flame wars break out across the internet all the time. They're hilarious, because often the participants are morons.
But what if someone presents an opinion which opposes yours? What do you do? respect their point of view and move on? Hell No! You tell them how wrong they are! You defend your opinion to the death!
Below are some helpful hints on how to always win an argument over the internet, with examples of how it's done.
To make up for your lack of research and knowledge, use big words.
Opponent: Saying gays can't march is in direct conflict with the Constitution.
You: Your claims are trefilonious and scadlidiously out of tremdemnation.
Don't be swayed, and even if you are, don't show it.
Opponent: So you see, "The Simpsons" is still quite a relevant show, certainly more so than Family Guy.
You: Nevermind, this is stupid.
Ignore what other people have to say.
You: So you want solders to march into your house and eat you food?
Opponent: The Third Amendment isn't even relevant anymore.
Someone else: He's right, there haven't been enemy soldiers on U.S. soil in 150 years, the possibility of it happening now is almost impossible ever since the creation of the National Guard.
You: So you want enemy soldiers sleeping in your bed?
Act like you're satisfied with your point, then leave before hearing you opponent's retort.
You: All the fuck Maddox does is write about how much he hates stuff, oh real funny, He's a fuckin' genius! I'm outta here.
Opponent: Um, did he seriously just leave?
You has left the chatroom.
Somone else: Yeah.
Always have the last word, even if it doesn't really fit the discussion.
You: So I guess we can agree to disagree?
Opponent: sure.
You:....shithead
You has left the chatroom
Ask a question you know is unanswerable.
You: I just don't see what's so great about it.
Opponent: Superman: Red Son is so brilliant because it's a hypothetical story that asks a cool question: What if Superman landed in the Ukraine instead of Kansas?
You: If you lived in the Ukraine would you still think it was so brilliant?
Opponent: ?????What?????
Point out misspelled or uncapitalized words in your opponent's argument.
Opponent: Tim Burton's batman was way better than The Dark Knight.
You: Says the guy who can't even capitalize "Batman," and technically, "The Dark Knight" goes in quotes, dumbass. Who taught you English?
Act like your opponent doesn't understand what you're saying.
You: I'm just saying that Superman would totally beat Shazam in a fight.
Opponent: So you think Shazam is weaker that Superman, I know.
You: You obviously don't understand what I'm saying.
by Dr. Inside-Out
Whether it's on a forum or in a chat room, arguments and flame wars break out across the internet all the time. They're hilarious, because often the participants are morons.
But what if someone presents an opinion which opposes yours? What do you do? respect their point of view and move on? Hell No! You tell them how wrong they are! You defend your opinion to the death!
Below are some helpful hints on how to always win an argument over the internet, with examples of how it's done.
To make up for your lack of research and knowledge, use big words.
Opponent: Saying gays can't march is in direct conflict with the Constitution.
You: Your claims are trefilonious and scadlidiously out of tremdemnation.
Don't be swayed, and even if you are, don't show it.
Opponent: So you see, "The Simpsons" is still quite a relevant show, certainly more so than Family Guy.
You: Nevermind, this is stupid.
Ignore what other people have to say.
You: So you want solders to march into your house and eat you food?
Opponent: The Third Amendment isn't even relevant anymore.
Someone else: He's right, there haven't been enemy soldiers on U.S. soil in 150 years, the possibility of it happening now is almost impossible ever since the creation of the National Guard.
You: So you want enemy soldiers sleeping in your bed?
Act like you're satisfied with your point, then leave before hearing you opponent's retort.
You: All the fuck Maddox does is write about how much he hates stuff, oh real funny, He's a fuckin' genius! I'm outta here.
Opponent: Um, did he seriously just leave?
You has left the chatroom.
Somone else: Yeah.
Always have the last word, even if it doesn't really fit the discussion.
You: So I guess we can agree to disagree?
Opponent: sure.
You:....shithead
You has left the chatroom
Ask a question you know is unanswerable.
You: I just don't see what's so great about it.
Opponent: Superman: Red Son is so brilliant because it's a hypothetical story that asks a cool question: What if Superman landed in the Ukraine instead of Kansas?
You: If you lived in the Ukraine would you still think it was so brilliant?
Opponent: ?????What?????
Point out misspelled or uncapitalized words in your opponent's argument.
Opponent: Tim Burton's batman was way better than The Dark Knight.
You: Says the guy who can't even capitalize "Batman," and technically, "The Dark Knight" goes in quotes, dumbass. Who taught you English?
Act like your opponent doesn't understand what you're saying.
You: I'm just saying that Superman would totally beat Shazam in a fight.
Opponent: So you think Shazam is weaker that Superman, I know.
You: You obviously don't understand what I'm saying.
that is too funny . well if superman landed in U.k. he would be dead from all the nuclear power plants there in theory lol.
define enemy soldiers they dont have to be from another country they just have to tread on our flag and what it stands for . if an enemy came in your house sleeping is far from list or wanting to do.
crazy people ....lol
i agree with you people need to think before they speak
define enemy soldiers they dont have to be from another country they just have to tread on our flag and what it stands for . if an enemy came in your house sleeping is far from list or wanting to do.
crazy people ....lol
i agree with you people need to think before they speak
Haha...umm...I'm not scadlidiously clear on the point you're trying to make with this trefilonious and tremdemnational posting!
slc- i wish i could copy that cause thats stupid funny.lmao
Here's the link to the comic: http://xkcd.com/386/
The best way to win an arguement is to not engage in one. Nobody wins an arguement. The only reason a person gets into an arguement is because they care too much about what the other person thinks and can't stand it when they have an opinion that differs from thier own. Stop letting others rent space in your head.
And what fine tits they are !!!!
People to never argue with:
1) Politician - they will always agree with you
2) Cops - You are never right
3) Libertarians - The state and feds are always wrong.
others?
Mav
1) Politician - they will always agree with you
2) Cops - You are never right
3) Libertarians - The state and feds are always wrong.
others?
Mav
4) conspiracy theorists.
btw. if i hafta classify me as anything political, i'm a libertarian. i don't think the state and feds are COMPLETELY wrong. just mostly. bwuahahahaha.
btw. if i hafta classify me as anything political, i'm a libertarian. i don't think the state and feds are COMPLETELY wrong. just mostly. bwuahahahaha.
MAVENX wrote:
People to never argue with: 1) Politician - they will always agree with you 2) Cops - You are never right 3) Libertarians - The state and feds are always wrong. others? Mav
I learned a long time ago that, no matter what the topic - NEVER argue with an "expert".
#9. STFU
Go old testament on their ass, there is a never ending supply of wacko shit in that book.
Expert - derived from 2 words ex = somebody that used to be someone. the oter is spurt = a drip under pressure. I think you can figure it out from there.
EXPERT: Someone who "knows" they "know" everything there is to "know" about everything "known" to man.