For those of you that only play as couples - Do you find it hard to find another couple where all four of you click? If only two or three have an attraction to eachother, what do you do in the situation? Not play at all (everyone has fun or no one does) or watch whoever has the chemistry?
For those couples that play alone, why do you choose to play alone? Is it because of the chemistry factor, because you like privacy, or just because it is about you?
Hoping to learn from everyone. Thanks in advance for sharing.
For those couples that play alone, why do you choose to play alone? Is it because of the chemistry factor, because you like privacy, or just because it is about you?
Hoping to learn from everyone. Thanks in advance for sharing.
PUBLICINTOX wrote:
For those of you that only play as couples - Do you find it hard to find another couple where you all four of you click?
Absolutely...or rather, I wouldn't say it's necessarily "difficult" to find four that click mutually, it merely does not happen as often as we wish.
PUBLICINTOX wrote:
If only two or three have an attraction to eachother, what do you do in the situation? Not play at all (everyone has fun or no one does) or watch whoever has the chemistry?
Typically...everyone has fun or we simply don't go there. We've seen, all too often, the couples where one of the spouses if having fun and usually at the other one's expense. We simply don't get that...and choose not to make that a dynamic in our swinging endeavors.
My GF and I only play as a couple. Its preferred that everyone clicks with everyone but that isnt always so. As long as She has attraction to the guy and his woman clicks with me, then we can at least swap. Its also nice if the girls both click as well cuz they get that F-F bonus. Everyone should click for the comfort and enjoyment factors. I dont expect us guys to be attracted to each other, but me and him should at least be cool with each other's personalities since we will be sharing our women with each other.
We dont "take one for the team". If shes not interested in them, we dont play.
Basicly, we ALL need to click with everyone else one way or the other.
We dont "take one for the team". If shes not interested in them, we dont play.
Basicly, we ALL need to click with everyone else one way or the other.
As for us, we only play as a couple, and prefer the same room/bed. So it's super important that all four of us are interested in each other. For us, nobody "takes one for the team." We've met some couples where one or both of us weren't interested, and we didn't feel we were into it and are very straight forward in saying that the chemistry isn't there. Not saying we can't be friends, as we have met several people on Swingular who we haven't played with, but are social friends. For us, it's all about meeting friends and if it clicks, game on, but if not, no hard feelings, no need to force things and make anybody feel like they need to get intimate with someone that they don't want to have the sexy time with. We've found that there are so many different ways to enjoy this lifestyle, that there is no reason to compromise and get into a situation which might make one of us uncomfortable. That's the beautiful part of being in the lifestyle! You can be into 3 legged Hawaiian circus midgets and whipped cream and you only need to participate in what you want to! God bless America and our freedom to do what we want.
Thats just our 2 cents!
Enjoy life and make the best of it!
J&M
Thats just our 2 cents!
Enjoy life and make the best of it!
J&M
Mrs. Heber chastised me, so no offense to the 3 legged "little people" I apologized for my lack of political incorrectness. Forgive my incorrect nomenclature, LOL
Mr. Heber
Mr. Heber
Honestly we haven't found anyone yet for whom we didn't have the chemistry where the feeling wasn't mutual. We don't do anything we are not comfortable with. The best thing about this lifestyle about this lifestyle is the freedom to say thanks but no thanks, and really nobody's feelings are seriously hurt. Everyone respects everyone's choices and boundaries, either that or they don't last long. Your Kink Is Not Necessarily My Kink, is a good code to adopt. To each his/her own. Same thing. We never pressure anyone else into doing something that makes them uncomfortable, almost to the point of being too passive. The most important thing is that everyone has fun and enjoys the time. We have given each other the freedom to enjoy what ever we like, just so long as we check in often enough that we don't worry too much. If he wants to play alone he can, if she wants to play alone she can. Some couples find it best not to play alone nor to play with anyone else who will. That's cool too. It is about YOUR choice as a couple, and as individuals. We still enjoy the company of those with whom we don't wish to play and those who don't wish to play with us. As Heber4fun stated it is about freedom. We play alone out of respect for each other, to recognize that each of us is an individual with independent thoughts and desires. That being said the best experiences are to be had as couples, where everyone is enjoying themselves and enjoying the amazing energy of the group. If someone is "taking it for the team" that is real drama, and we would rather not participate. If he doesn't feel like playing with the other couple, but she and they are feeling it, and everyone is ok with him not participating, then for us game on have fun! We will not play alone without each other's knowledge, or without every affected party's consent. That is if you can't tell you significant other about what you've done without hurting them, we don't want to be apart of it. Well there we go again rambling on and on. The point is life and freedom are to precious not to enjoy, and nobody can tell you what is right for you but you. As a couple you are; 1)you together and, 2) you individually.
We have been in the lifestyle for over two years now and we have found that is much easier to play alone than as a couple. Then you don't have any problems with one or the other clicking. It is not very often that you will find a couple that both of you click with, and no one like to "take one for the team". Its just not worth that.
For us, chemistry is obviously crucial, and friendship is a bonus. We have made incredible friends. We can be selective because it is all just the icing on the cake. We all play, we all have fun, we all cum Communication is a must, drama is unnecessary and unwanted.
As far as "play," it all depends on the couple, where we all want to take it, how far we want to take it and want to make it as hot as possible, and that you cannot predict or plan out. We have played in the same room and separate and we are ok with both. Trust is there, so there is no issue with what is happening. I do have to say, all together is very hot.
Call me a traditional swinger
but I love to watch my husband completely and utterly enjoy himself, pleasure and be pleasured by someone else. To see the expression on his face when he knows I am watching, and how hot it makes me to see the pure enjoyment on both of their faces. I also love when I know he can hear me and is watching me, it makes it so intense.
We know how much we (my husband and I) enjoy each other and don't mind putting on a show now and then, and sex with each other and our playmates is unbelievable, but our favorite part of all of this is to watch, amplify, and completely enjoy the pleasure everyone is experiencing by experiencing everyone.
Communication is a must, drama is unnecessary and unwanted.As far as "play," it all depends on the couple, where we all want to take it, how far we want to take it and want to make it as hot as possible, and that you cannot predict or plan out. We have played in the same room and separate and we are ok with both. Trust is there, so there is no issue with what is happening. I do have to say, all together is very hot.
Call me a traditional swinger
but I love to watch my husband completely and utterly enjoy himself, pleasure and be pleasured by someone else. To see the expression on his face when he knows I am watching, and how hot it makes me to see the pure enjoyment on both of their faces. I also love when I know he can hear me and is watching me, it makes it so intense. We know how much we (my husband and I) enjoy each other and don't mind putting on a show now and then, and sex with each other and our playmates is unbelievable, but our favorite part of all of this is to watch, amplify, and completely enjoy the pleasure everyone is experiencing by experiencing everyone.
We entirely agree with SEEHERFULL. Our experience has been that meeting couples for friendship first rarely translates into playing. As other posters have mentioned, it is hard to get all four people aligned. Parties are much better if you are serious about playing. Now, we just need to get invited to more of them :-)
We play with single guys on occasion for this reason. I find a lot more selection available to me when choosing from single guys who are in the lifestyle when wanting to have another man. We love to play with couples, but since we play with guys too -- I don't have to put all the pressure on a couple to fulfill some of my physical characteristic fantasies...
We normally would play as a couple BUT we do not have a rule that that is the only way we play. I am also poly so play with others alone is not a problem and I have no problem with her playing alone so long as it's a safe environment. There is no pressure at all. So long as everyone knows what is going on and consents everything is great. It doesn't mean I Have or have to approve anything the basis of any lasting relationship is trust.
Ray
Ray
Other People?
We play alone, together, same room, seprate room. depends on work schedules, & feelings. we just tell eachother when we get home.
We almost never play together we like the chance to get out and try new things and people then come home to eachother. It hard to find cpl's that are willing to polay apart though.
LUSCIOUS_74 wrote my thoughts. We've done most situations, but prefer same room. It's true that we don't meet that "perfect" couple often, but when we do, we find that we connect so well that we become friends during the day and fuck partners at night. We've moved around due to work and ended up here in Utah - away from family and old friends. Being in the lifestyle provided us with an opportunity to meet some really cool people. We don't fuck everyone (I know, I know, "really, what's up with that!"), but when we find those that we really click with . . . WOW!!!!
Now, I gotta say something about the whole "taking one for the team" thing. I have to say that as a woman, I've experienced a lot of difficult situations because the guy had a hard (well, no "hard" isn't the right word at all) time. In those situations, I do what I can to make things work for the guy, but really, my hubby ends up having a much better time than I am . . . In the end, I make him pay dearly for it by fucking my brains out when we get home. It's all cool though, the best sex I've ever had is with my hubby anyway - the rest is just a BONUS!!!! Especially when I get to lick some sweet pussy along with him ;o
Now, I gotta say something about the whole "taking one for the team" thing. I have to say that as a woman, I've experienced a lot of difficult situations because the guy had a hard (well, no "hard" isn't the right word at all) time. In those situations, I do what I can to make things work for the guy, but really, my hubby ends up having a much better time than I am . . . In the end, I make him pay dearly for it by fucking my brains out when we get home. It's all cool though, the best sex I've ever had is with my hubby anyway - the rest is just a BONUS!!!! Especially when I get to lick some sweet pussy along with him ;o
We started out playing with other couples but in seperate rooms. We would hear each others moans and find it distracting. Then we played together and found it was a turn on, not distracting. We now enjoy group, together, seperate, or 3somes with other couples. We were lucky in the early years by not having the problem of matching up couple to couple where all had the same interest. We enjoy parties because we feel it provides more possibilities and assures there will be someone for everybody. We now find it rare that we meet with a couple privately unless we all have played in the past and enjoyed each other.