We see that some people say they don't want to post pictures because "Discretion is a Must". Most of us are "public people", and are at risk of "being discovered". :h
We've been part of the lifestyle since 2000 and we've never been put in an akward situation because of it....my question is...have you run into anyone that you saw on a Lifestyle site that was an accident? One couple did recognize us and emailed later asking if that was "US", we wish they had come over and said HI. What happened when you did?
We've been part of the lifestyle since 2000 and we've never been put in an akward situation because of it....my question is...have you run into anyone that you saw on a Lifestyle site that was an accident? One couple did recognize us and emailed later asking if that was "US", we wish they had come over and said HI. What happened when you did?
Destin I think thats such a great question. I leave our pics out there with the risk and often wonder how many people recognize us but dont say anything. We have never had it happen to us yet, nor have we ever seen anyone from the site. To be honest I dont know if I would approach them either. I would probably do what the couple that spotted you do, go back home and drop you a note then try and get together! I guess being in a big city though my chances are that much smaller to see someone or be recognized by someone! I am very curious if this has happened to anyone else!
most people who you don't want to be seen by as "LIFESTYLE CHALLENGED" are peeps who will never come across these sites anyways. But in the offset chance they do and it were to be your boss or someone in a high place in society well what are they going to do anyway tell everyone they saw your profile on a swinger site. Well we think not becuase by them telling others they saw you is the same as them telling them they are interested in the lifestyle aswell.
No never have had it happen not yet at least.
kisses Tre and Jessica
No never have had it happen not yet at least.
kisses Tre and Jessica
I think it probably affects people in the more rural communities where everyone knows everyone than anything else. If you have a high profile job and you are "discovered" the damage could hurt you much worse than it would the person that "Let the cat out of the bag" who really doesn't care who knows about their lifestyle. Also annonymous copies of your profile can be sent to your employer, friends, kids etc... Depending on your situation sometimes the benefits are not worth the price you'll have to pay if the wrong people find out. We can understand the need for complete discretion up to a certain point then we get suspicious.
Donna and I started swinging when we were married to others:* After we separated from our respective spouses and moved toward divorces we discovered that my ex had gone onto a swinger site we were frequenting and copied our pictures and profile from there. We discovered this during mediation. We also discovered that she had shown this information and other things with anyone she could, especially our other family members like brothers, sisters, parents, anyone who could be pinned down. We were not ashamed of our participating in this lifestyle but were frankly pissed off that she had the audacity to flaunt these pics and stuff trying to alienate our friends and family from us. In a way it kind of helped us, though, because then we didn't have to do the explaining!
yes, being descret is a must for some on here...check out profile discret704 a "couple" from charlotte, nc...
Gee, the couple mentioned by NAKEDJOYNFUN remind us of US when we started swinging. We have been married (to each other, now) for 2 years this month. It was unfortunate for our respective ex-spouses that we really found love outside of our marriages. The amazing thing for us in this lifestyle is that there is no jealousy or envy because we have discovered the difference between love and lust. We love each other and lust for and share pleasure with others. We are not looking for replacements for each other, just the enjoyment of adult company and the cuddling with each other that comes after. Life is good
Great answers, thanks everyone. Yes we do understand outing to friends, family and employers, unless you have a morality clause it would not affect the job much but quite an embarrasment with family and a nightmare with a custody battle.
Those that can't post face pics, don't you think you could at least post pics with the face blocked or blurred? The looking first starts with the physical attraction and then privately email face pics when you get an interesting inquiry?
Those that can't post face pics, don't you think you could at least post pics with the face blocked or blurred? The looking first starts with the physical attraction and then privately email face pics when you get an interesting inquiry?
Hi.
We have some bad experience after adding a photo with our faces visual on the internet. And dont forget there are still couples that work in public places or have a job where the risk is too high to be known as swingers. Please respect it when couples keep their face hidden. They will sure send you a better picture after getting in contact with them.
Bea and Alex from The Netherlands
We have some bad experience after adding a photo with our faces visual on the internet. And dont forget there are still couples that work in public places or have a job where the risk is too high to be known as swingers. Please respect it when couples keep their face hidden. They will sure send you a better picture after getting in contact with them.
Bea and Alex from The Netherlands
We post a face pic even though we both have high profile out there jobs,I am a bailbonds woman and hubby does city contract work talk about hell storm if we ran into someone who said OMG i saw yall on a swingers site,but then me being me I would turn it around on them,if they were there looking then obviously they were looking for the same thing. In saying that it tends to shut them down with a quickness,think about it if they are at a lifestyle function or website they are there why...HELLO cause they are in the lifestlye also LOL. As for being outed to family and friends we don't hide the fact,do they like it *family that is* proably not doesn't fit into their cookie cutter world but they don't look down on us either they accept the fact we do what we do and it's none of their business. I have a friend right now going through a divorce and her soon to be ex is trying to bring her bisexuality into the proceedings and wants everyone to testify well I told him don't bring me there or I will just bust you out what about the blowjob in my den you got from so-so,its pissy when in the lifestyle together then bring it up in a divorce.
Becky
Becky
Discretion is kind of a funny situation for us. Because of her occupation and living in a small town she believes we must be as discreet as possible. Myself I really don't care one way or the other. It wouldn't bother me in the least if all the neighbors knew. Hell I might even get lucky with one or two of them. But I do honor her wishes to be very discreet. We both honor the believes of any people we play with. I do understand why for some people discretion is a must. We all need to look into ourselves and do what is right for you.
We also live in a very small town where everyone seems to know everyone else, or at least know of them. We usually do not post a face pic but are more than willing to exchange pics if another person seems genuine in their approach. Even if they do live in the same town.
We just post no face pictures at profile and some with faces in our private album. If couple is interested we make sure they are not our bosses and give them acces to private album.
Easy.
Easy.
I am a onsite trainer and travel extensively, and see thousands of different people a year in a lot of different cities. I have been in the lifestyle for about 9 years now, and have always published a picture of my face. During that time, I have never been approached by anyone who I have been training saying, "Hey aren't you on Swinguar?" Like I've read in other posts on this topic, either they have never been here, or are to spooked to say anything.
Some public trust jobs do indeed have morality clauses, mine for instance. I agree with not meeting before pics are exchanged, even is meeting in a public place, but I sure do not feel secure posting in a public site. I don't feel immoral about how we live our lives, but here in the Bible belt, it is an absolute No-No.
S&S
S&S
We're also not ashamed of our lifestyle, but unfortunately there are a lot of "bedroom police" these days who would feel otherwise. Those in smaller areas feel they're more likely to be recognized, but the other end is living and working in an area and/or profession where literally hundreds of people know you. For my wife, one anonymous letter with a link could be a career-killer. And for me, I work in a college, it likely wouldn't cost me my job but it could certiainly make life very uncomfortable.
We'll reply with a pic if there seems to be some real interest, but we're hesitant to send pictures mainly because we've come across too many phonies. We've never once ruled somebody out based on their photo - in fact we've had some amazing times with folks that others might not have given a second look at. Maybe it's just our experience, but we go by the idea that chemistry can come in any package, and that goes way beyond a picture exchange.
A kinda funny story - we did one time come across someone we recognized from a club we used to frequent. It was at a bowling alley. She looked at us, we looked at her; we all felt that second or two of confusion before it hit us. We smiled, nodded at each other, and kept right on walking....
We'll reply with a pic if there seems to be some real interest, but we're hesitant to send pictures mainly because we've come across too many phonies. We've never once ruled somebody out based on their photo - in fact we've had some amazing times with folks that others might not have given a second look at. Maybe it's just our experience, but we go by the idea that chemistry can come in any package, and that goes way beyond a picture exchange.
A kinda funny story - we did one time come across someone we recognized from a club we used to frequent. It was at a bowling alley. She looked at us, we looked at her; we all felt that second or two of confusion before it hit us. We smiled, nodded at each other, and kept right on walking....
We have been noticed. My wife goes to one of those offices where there are 4-5 doctors that work there. One of them noticed my wife's pics on an adult site. (because he had an ad there as well) No issues came of it, but that has been the only time anyone did "Hey I saw your pic".
We are discreet, but on the same hand feel that anyone that sees our pic is because they were in the website too. We try not to make any enemies of other swingers and so we have not had anyone out to get us by sending our profile to other non-swingers.
We are discreet, but on the same hand feel that anyone that sees our pic is because they were in the website too. We try not to make any enemies of other swingers and so we have not had anyone out to get us by sending our profile to other non-swingers.
Most people who do not show faces or block faces are probally conerned with "JOB" concerns that is how it is with us me Icouldcare less whosees me but becuase her job could be in jeapody we choose to block faces.
N&S
N&S
hehh - we are very discreet people, but we put our pictures and names on our ad... Believe me, we'd love for someone in our 'normal everyday life' to recognize us! It would mean that they're 'into swinging' as well!
No one would ~ever~ in a million years guess that we're 'into' this sort of thing. We're very conservative and professional in everyday life, but we just happen to have a naughty side to our sex lives!
We fantasize a bit about our neighbors finding out about us, actually - and not being offended or aghast, but actually coming to a sense of curiosity with us to the point where we become more than just neighbors with each other
.
We HAVE, however, seen some people in public who we totally suspect of being 'this person' or 'that person' from such and such swinging site hehh. If only we had the nerve to actually walk up and ask them sigh -- might make going to the grocery store a little more spicy and adventurous!
No one would ~ever~ in a million years guess that we're 'into' this sort of thing. We're very conservative and professional in everyday life, but we just happen to have a naughty side to our sex lives!
We fantasize a bit about our neighbors finding out about us, actually - and not being offended or aghast, but actually coming to a sense of curiosity with us to the point where we become more than just neighbors with each other
.We HAVE, however, seen some people in public who we totally suspect of being 'this person' or 'that person' from such and such swinging site hehh. If only we had the nerve to actually walk up and ask them sigh -- might make going to the grocery store a little more spicy and adventurous!
I have been active in the lifestyle for 25 years and have never been in an akward position.
"J"
"J"
Unfortunately, while we didn't personally have a negative experience, we have been on the sidelines watching the "train wreck" when someone in her profession (healthcare) and my former profession was "outed" at work. Originally, my high profile job in the military made it impossible to post pics and we rarely "shared" them until we had seen the other couples pics first. Now, it's her position working for a high profile Dr. that is our concern. And like, S&S, we agree that here in the "Bible Belt" of Northeast Florida, the consequences would be swift and severe for her if her boss became aware of our participation in the Lifestyle. And we don't think that it would really be his personal decision but more of a "business" decision than anything else. We still share our G-rated pic with couples that request it but never share more explicit or intimate pics.....regardless of a website's protection programs or somone's assurances, you never know where the pics are going to show up.
Unfortunately, while we didn't personally have a negative experience, we have been on the sidelines watching the "train wreck" when someone in her profession (healthcare) and my former profession was "outed" at work. Originally, my high profile job in the military made it impossible to post pics and we rarely "shared" them until we had seen the other couples pics first. Now, it's her position working for a high profile Dr. that is our concern. And like, S&S, we agree that here in the "Bible Belt" of Northeast Florida, the consequences would be swift and severe for her if her boss became aware of our participation in the Lifestyle. And we don't think that it would really be his personal decision but more of a "business" decision than anything else. We still share our G-rated pic with couples that request it but never share more explicit or intimate pics.....regardless of a website's protection programs or somone's assurances, you never know where the pics are going to show up.
We believe in discretion and if someone does say something to us we would have to ask WHAT WERE YOU DOING THERE LOOKING ANYWAY???? We have pics on our profiles but jus the faces are blurred out but if someone knew us and was looking they would most likely figure it was us. Our friends & family are very religious and so that is a reason we use discretion with what we do and also with both of our professions.
Just to add another small note, the "what were you doing there?" response does little to mitigate or prevent someone that has seen your picture on a lifestyle or adult website from sharing that information, picture or URL with your boss, co-workers, friends and family. And the negative ramifications or outcome are the same for you....regardless of what happens to the person that spreads that sort of gossip.
Our neighbors recognized us on a site even though we blocked our faces. We saw their profile and chose not to contact them mainly because they weren't our type. They finally approached us and asked if the profile was ours and we said yes we've seen their profile as well. We laughed, talked about experiences and it's pretty much stayed there.
Now THAT would be what we would hope would happen if our neighbors ever saw us up there. What scares us more is family members and the like. Nothing like settling down for a huge family holiday dinner, then cousin Bob pipes up "Hey, I hear you two are looking for some MFM action - how's your luck been so far?" rofl...
it worked in our favor, i used to work at a job and an advertising woman who i was very attracted to came in on occasion, she turned everyones head, found her and her man were swingers online much later... it was a good night
We wish we could say all was well in the discretion department. We mask our faces now and have for 3 years, didn't used to, but had someone 'lifestyle' get angry because they felt rejected (we guess) and tried to out us, making photocopies of our pics and write-ups from two sites and mailed them to our jobs. Since I am the boss, I caught them at both businesses, although one office manager did see them and it was awkward (some were nudes, so we don't post those now). In my wife's case, it did not go well. There wasn't much to do but go off the sites. After a while, we decided we weren't going to be 'blackmailed' and simply changed the pics, the sites, the profile writeups and masked the faces. We always send unmasked to anyone who write us with interest. It's a shame and we hope no one else ever has such a problem, but that is the reason in our case the photos are masked. It's the one bad apple thing, but we don't ever want to take a second chance it happening again.
Got to admit in all my years of being on swinger sites, I've never seen anyone I recognize. But after hearing the storys some of you have told, I'm wondering if I shouldn't be more descret.
Discretion is a must for me. I do have pics in my private album, however, and do share them with whom I choose to. I just do not want to take the chance. Personal reasons I suppose.
I've never been "outed". I have recognized not one, not two... "BUT" three people from various swinger sites that I happened to go to high school with. LOL! Talk about a small world. Maybe we were all just a horny bunch and never realized it.
I've never been "outed". I have recognized not one, not two... "BUT" three people from various swinger sites that I happened to go to high school with. LOL! Talk about a small world. Maybe we were all just a horny bunch and never realized it.
i can understand why some people try to keep their pics out of site out of fear of losing their job or somehting like that . i wish the world was different so people could just be who they are and not worry about it . but i understand some feel they have to becareful . we go to alot of parties and people are always taking pics with us , so i tell anyone that wants to hang out with us to let us know up front if they dont want their pics to be taken so i can watch out for that and try to make sure it doesnt happen . but what gets me is when people wont put any kinda of pic up what so ever .there is ways to block your face or stuff like that . but some dont even put up any pics . i dont understand that . when people write us and they dont have a pic i tell them to please send me one i dont even care if the face is covered or whatever i just need some kinda of pic to see who tehy are . iam not trying to be mean or piss anyone off but most of the people that dont want to show their pics are either very over weight or very ugly .not all but alot . i wish people would realize that there is always someone that is right for u .so just be who u are and find those that u will click with . there is alot of people that try to keep them being swingers a big secert . from their family and firends and people at work . so there is alot of people that wont show their pics unless u ask and they know they dont know u already . and their is alot of fake people and people who are just wantitng to look at everybody else and not be known . so most of the time i dont bother with all of them . i think u should have to have at least one pic of each person that is on the profile . face covered or whatever . but at least give people something to go by .
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
I've always wondered why people won't post face pics on sites like this.. If your boss minister, cousin, neighbor sees you they are there for the same reason. If you are worried that there is someone that is not a friend might do with pics found on a site like this restrict the viewing of them. I'd love for a neighbor or "city official" recognize me.... I've got nothing they can hurt me with but they could be hurt if they were nasty.. Look at the positive side... you may find out that the couple up the street that you've been lusting after for 5 years are swingers and you'be been close friends for all that time....
We understand the discretion thing, since both of us are in high profile positions in our small community. But that doesn't prevent posting pics with the faces blurred, or no face showing. We have had comments from some who have found us based on Yahoo or Hotmail profile. Our response, and it always shuts them up quick, "WHAT, did you accidentally stumble onto us while you were looking for your pediophile pics and contacts"? "We aren't into that stuff, but if you are, just be careful." They never say another word.
We have, on several occasions, run into someone or a couple we know at a local "on premise" club. Our reaction, walk up to them and say Hi, always thought you were cool, glad to see you here. Want to join us at our table? Also, at a local off premises Meet and Greet type club, run into many we know, again our reaction, a waive, say hi, see what happens. Usually we get a comment like "Damn, we always thought you two were super straight, never figured to see you in a place like this". We say, thought the same of you, but isn't it nice to know now that we can relax and be open around each other. Some very good times have come from meeting friends at both places.
We have, on several occasions, run into someone or a couple we know at a local "on premise" club. Our reaction, walk up to them and say Hi, always thought you were cool, glad to see you here. Want to join us at our table? Also, at a local off premises Meet and Greet type club, run into many we know, again our reaction, a waive, say hi, see what happens. Usually we get a comment like "Damn, we always thought you two were super straight, never figured to see you in a place like this". We say, thought the same of you, but isn't it nice to know now that we can relax and be open around each other. Some very good times have come from meeting friends at both places.
I have had the privlege of reconizing some one from one of our other sites that we are members of . Being the person that I am ,I quietlly asked if they belonged to that club. We then found out that we had a lot in common and was a good match although they had seen our profile and passed us up because they thought we would never get to meet . As nothing other than a lot of talking and getting to know each other . then it was time for us to go. We still talk and hope to get together for a weekend and have fun. If any of you ever see us please say something as we may be missing out on a good friendship. 
I think the reason many people don't post there faces is not that their friends or neighbors will see them, but someone who has a problem with them. Imagine if the person at your job who is next in line for your job saw you on this site. If he's or she is vindictive can't you see an email or something to that effect (anonymously of course) on your bosses desk? It's not always that we fear our neighbors but it's the one's that don't like us who are the real threat.
We live in a small town (small town, small minds, big mouths and notorious for it) but we chose to post our pics, face and all and haven't had anything majorly bad come from it.
The few times someone did recognize us they were nice enough to email us at the site they saw us on and saysomething to the effect of, "We saw you out and didn't want to bother you (as usually it was us having a nice dinner out), but we wanted to say hi here... etc etc.."
That's a great way to handle it, folks! That way we can enjoy a nice dinner in peace (imagine having someone say they saw you on a swingers site in front of your religeous cousins visiting form out of town or something!) and later look up their profile and see if it's someone we might be interested in or not.
One of the few "bad" things was that a co-worker's husband (who also works with me) spotted the profile and either didn't bother reading my profile or didn't think it applied to him, got his little hampster wheel in his head turning and started messaging me. Long story short - she's pissed at him and we're pissed at him.
The few times someone did recognize us they were nice enough to email us at the site they saw us on and saysomething to the effect of, "We saw you out and didn't want to bother you (as usually it was us having a nice dinner out), but we wanted to say hi here... etc etc.."
That's a great way to handle it, folks! That way we can enjoy a nice dinner in peace (imagine having someone say they saw you on a swingers site in front of your religeous cousins visiting form out of town or something!) and later look up their profile and see if it's someone we might be interested in or not.
One of the few "bad" things was that a co-worker's husband (who also works with me) spotted the profile and either didn't bother reading my profile or didn't think it applied to him, got his little hampster wheel in his head turning and started messaging me. Long story short - she's pissed at him and we're pissed at him.
I accually met someone from this site at my work where I was cashiering. It was kinda shocking at first just because I expected to meet him at a bar but that feeling went away after about 2 seconds and he was a really nice guy. He was very discreet and nice. So what if you are seen in person isn't that what this site is for anyways.. to meet people? You shouldn't be scared to show your picture unless you are not really comfortable with the lifestyle then you shouldn't be in it.
I know somebody on here *ahem not to be rude* who will not show us a picture of his face but yet we had the trust in him to add him as a friend and show him our private album. If a person can not be trusted to be discret in public what kind of person are they, should they really be on here at all if they cannot be trusted? Maybe everyone should have to be verified as real to keep people from being victims...
I know somebody on here *ahem not to be rude* who will not show us a picture of his face but yet we had the trust in him to add him as a friend and show him our private album. If a person can not be trusted to be discret in public what kind of person are they, should they really be on here at all if they cannot be trusted? Maybe everyone should have to be verified as real to keep people from being victims...
I am an E.M.T and president of the Local firehouse.......Brooke is in Real Estate here in a real small town near Lake Tahoe.......People have nothing else to do but talk and gossip.....can't say we hide anything....have thrown a couple of party's that both swingers and some of the guys from the firehouse have been to.....and as far as we are concerned......If you don't like our Lifestyle......don't hang out with us.......we don't advertise on the local bulliten board.....but we don't really hide it either.....Life is to short.....besides....ya never know what your neighbor might be into.....could be fun....
Ok.. well my thoughts have changed a little... the other day my cousion was online in another site and saw my profile. He saw EVERYTHING.. me naked and all my info.. IT WAS SOOO EMBARASSING! It IS good to be discreet on the website.. but you can still put pictures of your face in your private album... that way we have some idea of who you are. I ended up leaving my pic up on here though.. but I will be bluring out the eyes or something in a little while.. now I KNOW why people do that. THERE IS A REASON!
Luckely though my cousion said "Whatever floats your boat, I have done profiles like that beofre too." So not only was he ok WITH IT... but our openess to new things runs in the family.. you find out something new every day. Still embarassing though.
Luckely though my cousion said "Whatever floats your boat, I have done profiles like that beofre too." So not only was he ok WITH IT... but our openess to new things runs in the family.. you find out something new every day. Still embarassing though.
Our discription of disscret would be the couple or single males, not talk abouting our sex lifes in front of our kids. We meet a couple who thought they couldnt keep there mouth shut about it, when they came over or when we went to there house because the of kids.
Coming from a small town it probably better to keep your face pic in the private section
we were outed about 2 years ago and my wife had to leave her job,because i work in local government i have not posted a face pic of me even in the private section but after we get to know who we are dealing with face pics are exchanged .recently we seperated but we do still swing together and if anyone is looking just to meet my wife and contact us through here she is given the info .she asked me to keep her pics on here to satisfy her need for other women and if someone wants to contact her directly they are more than welcome to her cell number.
we were outed about 2 years ago and my wife had to leave her job,because i work in local government i have not posted a face pic of me even in the private section but after we get to know who we are dealing with face pics are exchanged .recently we seperated but we do still swing together and if anyone is looking just to meet my wife and contact us through here she is given the info .she asked me to keep her pics on here to satisfy her need for other women and if someone wants to contact her directly they are more than welcome to her cell number.
If you are going to be in the lifestyle, it should be a given that you are going to be discreet, and that you are going to be respectful of others limitations and boundaries. So why should it be any different with whether or not someone is or isn't comfortable with having their face pics plainly displayed on a publicly accessible internet site.
In the case of my partner, she DOES have a very prominent position with a VERY large corporation, so discretion really is a must. In my case it is not so much a matter of my position, but rather, due to the fact that I have a very conservative family that I have close ties with here in Northern Utah, that would not be accepting of some of my choices.
We do have pictures that we are more than happy to share with interested couples, and I say, if someone does not want to display a face picture of front, respect that just as much as you would any other limitation or facet of a lifestyle couples personality. We are more than eager to meet other couples, and to have a lot of fun, we just choose to do it in a more discret manner than many. Does that make us bad people, no I don't think so.
Thanks,
great_slc_cpl
In the case of my partner, she DOES have a very prominent position with a VERY large corporation, so discretion really is a must. In my case it is not so much a matter of my position, but rather, due to the fact that I have a very conservative family that I have close ties with here in Northern Utah, that would not be accepting of some of my choices.
We do have pictures that we are more than happy to share with interested couples, and I say, if someone does not want to display a face picture of front, respect that just as much as you would any other limitation or facet of a lifestyle couples personality. We are more than eager to meet other couples, and to have a lot of fun, we just choose to do it in a more discret manner than many. Does that make us bad people, no I don't think so.
Thanks,
great_slc_cpl