So, just curious what everyone else's rules are. Say you are a couple and going into a full swap possibility with new friends. Would you come with a stack of rules, or none at all.
Singles, feel free to chime in too. Don't want to leave anyone out.
Singles, feel free to chime in too. Don't want to leave anyone out.
One Ultimate Rule: Everyone has fun! If someone is not having fun, then no one is having fun.
Mav
Mav
So our rules, just to share. Don't touch my ass, that is for my husband. Besides that, dig in and have a good time!
I like rules as a sinle. then I know exactly what is comfortable, permitable and dont have to worry if he or she is thinking OMG.
I've been both praised and critisized for asking ahead of time what others like and/or don't like.
My feeling (and my reason for doing so) is that no one likes to have the mood broken by someone inadvertantly doing something the other person doesn't like.
It also helps if we all know ahead of time what gives someone the most pleasure so we know to do that.
It's ALL about fun and pleasure, and a brief discussion beforehand can't hurt.
My feeling (and my reason for doing so) is that no one likes to have the mood broken by someone inadvertantly doing something the other person doesn't like.
It also helps if we all know ahead of time what gives someone the most pleasure so we know to do that.
It's ALL about fun and pleasure, and a brief discussion beforehand can't hurt.
No male on male play...swords clashing while pleasing a woman is ok, as long as it's not intentional activity directed towards me by the other guy...just not my thing.
Treat me with the same honesty and respect I treat you with.
That's it...outside of the normal, no bathroom games, animals, or children.
Treat me with the same honesty and respect I treat you with.
That's it...outside of the normal, no bathroom games, animals, or children.
Our rules, be honest. All males must wear a condom. No pain. No potty. No anal (painful for her). No animals. Absolutely no children involved in play (if you have kids, we prefer to host as we have none living with us). Respect everyone, including and especially your partner (this is why we don't play with married/committed people with out the partner's consent). Outside of that, have lots of fun!
MAVENX wrote:This is so true!
One Ultimate Rule: Everyone has fun! If someone is not having fun, then no one is having fun.
Mav
Safe Play only, Together same room, and everybody must Click. If there is not chemistry between all involved, that is never fun. Nothing more frustrating than getting to the moment, and only 2 of the Four are getting along, so we never want anybody involved to feel they are "taking one for the team"
rule for us is the one with the pussy makes the rules lol have fun together and it works for us
really no rules as long as evryone has fun and no taking one for the team...
Male side here also would love to hear some feed back no EX's and no one off the street that would not fully understand the lifestyle my better half has some different feelings, I feel swinging is a wonderfull way to share your love and feel loved from others it just feels so natural, Why bring drama?
We always play together. No hall passes or separate rooms.
No kissing or other romantical gestures. That's reserved for us.
Always condoms for anal or vaginal play.
No potty play or anything particularly painful.
And of course, things must be legal and consentual. This means 18+ and no animals. I love my pets and all, but not THAT much. :P
And like everyone else, I agree with Mav. Its fun for everyone or fun for no one.
No kissing or other romantical gestures. That's reserved for us.
Always condoms for anal or vaginal play.
No potty play or anything particularly painful.
And of course, things must be legal and consentual. This means 18+ and no animals. I love my pets and all, but not THAT much. :P
And like everyone else, I agree with Mav. Its fun for everyone or fun for no one.
Our one spoken rule is between me and my husband: the other must consent on individual activities. We had one instance where I walked in on my hubby getting a blowjob and I felt like he was cheating on me because he didnt consult me first. I didn't care about him getting a blowjob (thats less work for me!) But I felt like he was trying to hide it from me, which just made me feel like I had been decieved for our whole relationship; like, what else is he hiding. All other "rules" are pretty much unspoken, no brainer rules: condoms are a must, nothing too painful, no potty, no animals....pretty much what everyone else has said.
GREENERPASTORS wrote:
Well, our number 1 rules is... You got to have one of these new Ipads baby.... It makes playing on the go... Great!!!
Can you explain this a bit more? Are you just being cute or is there a swinging app or some other sexy game app that you are using?
If not, do you have an idea for one? I'd love to write one.
Everyone is unique with their own turn ons & turn offs, boundaries & limits. The more people you have together, the harder it can be to find a happy compromise. But everyone's boundaries & limits must be known so they can be respected so everyone can have fun. We try to voice our rules to a couple and kinda "prequalify" them B4 we even meet to properly set expectations and to make sure we are all gonna be compatable. Our rules are pretty basic common sense rules:
We only meet & play together
No pain/watersports
We dont play with pushy, pressuring, disrespectful, or very drunk individuals.
D&D free
NO means NO!
There has to be attraction and chemistry between everyone
No one old enough to be our parents
As you meet & play with new cpls, you'll rules will change and evolve. If someone has a problem with ur rules or criticizes them, they dont respect your rules or you, and not worth ur time.
Bottom Line: Explaining ur rules (regardless of how many) and finding out the other cpl's rules is the best way for everyone to have fun and avoid creating uncomfortable or awkward moments later.
We only meet & play together
No pain/watersports
We dont play with pushy, pressuring, disrespectful, or very drunk individuals.
D&D free
NO means NO!
There has to be attraction and chemistry between everyone
No one old enough to be our parents
As you meet & play with new cpls, you'll rules will change and evolve. If someone has a problem with ur rules or criticizes them, they dont respect your rules or you, and not worth ur time.
Bottom Line: Explaining ur rules (regardless of how many) and finding out the other cpl's rules is the best way for everyone to have fun and avoid creating uncomfortable or awkward moments later.
I always ask for a full credit report, a criminal background check AND a pee test
If you pass all three, then I'm not interested
If you pass all three, then I'm not interested
UTLIBERTINES wrote:
I always ask for a full credit report, a criminal background check AND a pee test
If you pass all three, then I'm not interested
You forgot to ask for SS# and mother's maiden name. :P
HELLO_KITTY12984 wrote:UTLIBERTINES wrote:
I always ask for a full credit report, a criminal background check AND a pee test
If you pass all three, then I'm not interested
You forgot to ask for SS# and mother's maiden name. :P
oh, yes and the name of your pet and the type of car you first owned
We had a couple who actually wanted to see our papers proving we took STD tests and were clean b4 they would full swap. Its totally understandable and we are clean, but what bothers me is that they require other cpls to have papers but they expect everyone to take their word that they are clean too and they dont have to provide papers...
HOT_TF_CPL_29N28 wrote:
We had a couple who actually wanted to see our papers proving we took STD tests and were clean b4 they would full swap. Its totally understandable and we are clean, but what bothers me is that they require other cpls to have papers but they expect everyone to take their word that they are clean too and they dont have to provide papers...
If I were to go bareback I would require super recent paperwork and hafta know they didn't fuck someone else between the test and me. But I don't go bareback, so I don't worry about it.
Lol we dont go that route either. but most cpls we've met go by the honor system and trust you when u say u r clean and expect you to trust them as well. But most ppl have never even been tested or havent been in forever so they could have something.. and not know. Even more scary is there is some ppl out there who have something and know it, and wont tell you. One of our rules is that you must be D&D free but we usually go with the honor system and take ur word for it when u say u r clean. Sad to say that if we required papers proving STD-clean for every cpl we met... we'd probably never get to full swap... lol
HOT_TF_CPL_29N28 wrote:
We had a couple who actually wanted to see our papers proving we took STD tests and were clean b4 they would full swap. Its totally understandable and we are clean, but what bothers me is that they require other cpls to have papers but they expect everyone to take their word that they are clean too and they dont have to provide papers...
Papers...tests...blah blah blah...
The only fail-safe way to be "safe" is to practice complete abstinence and monogamy with your partner....and I would venture a guess that that's not the reason why any of us is here.
Even the best prophylactics are not 100% preventative. There are too many variables with proper usage, storage, education and technique. Let's face it, sex is wet and messy, and bodily fluids can find their way into the most unwanted places despite preventative measures.
If you are house party player, how many of you regularly jump in the shower and/or practice hand washing after boinking another couple or individual...even after just participating in something as benign as say, oral sex, a hand or even a finger job (I'm talking about with play no condoms, dental dams or latex gloves)?
Not many I'll bet, yet you finish your play at this public venue, and head back upstairs to flirt with the next viable couple/person. You may even boink-hand-finger-job them without even a second thought to hand washing or where your mouth and fingers have been. Worse yet, you may grab a handful of Chex Mix out of the community bowl, eh?
Oh, and for the condom-only couples, don't fool yourselves into thinking you have "safer" practices if you require condoms, yet participate in oral sex.
The truth is that many STD's can be transmitted orally, even if you use a condom or dental dam.
I agree with all that too... was just too lazy to type it... haha
I realize now that although I didn't think of these things technically as rules, they really are. We always like to chat with people first and see if there is a connection, pictures must be traded, we don't want any surprises. Call us shallow, I don't care, there needs to be chemistry. We have a busy life and live in rural Utah, we don't want to waste time driving 2 hours to meet someone that we have never seen. We like to keep major play in the same room, but don't mind flirting and kissing in seperate rooms to get to know eachother better. Condoms are required for intercourse for both men.
We agree with that chatting/pic trading 1st b4 meeting. gotta see the gooods. ur not shallow. everyone has their standards and just because we're swinging doesnt mean we must lower our standards. Sry but we dont play with ppl old enough to be our parents or our kids nor are we into people that are double or triple our weight. We both know what we like and what we're attracted to.. cant help that nor do we force ourselves to be attracted to someone nor do we "take one for the team". We do our flirting and kissing in same room though but that just proves what i said earlier about everyone being different so its good to go over everyones ground rules so everyone can all be on the same page and make sure the chemistry and attraction is there.
Thoughtgarden. . . very well put ! ~ ! ~
James Dean
James Dean