Okay this probably doesnt make alot of sense, but here goes.
We went to the bar the other night and met some new folks, regular guys that aren\'t in the lifestyle- that is they are just regular single young guys. I love to flirt so I had picked out a particular nice guy and we were playing pool etc. Well I happened to mention that hubby and I were swingers etc....
Now my question is, do you only play with someone else who\'s into the lifestyle? This guy really wanted to get in on some action with me and now thinking about it, I just feel nervous. It has brought back old anxieties about when I was single and all the single assholes out there that were looking to just get laid and kick you to the curb. At least in this lifestyle, you get to know people and there is a certain kind of understanding about sex and you usually know that the person you will be fucking cares about you in some respect.
I am trying to make a decision about whether to let this guy in or not for some play. I just can\'t decide how I feel about it.
Any input would be appreciated!!!
XOXOXO
Jen
We went to the bar the other night and met some new folks, regular guys that aren\'t in the lifestyle- that is they are just regular single young guys. I love to flirt so I had picked out a particular nice guy and we were playing pool etc. Well I happened to mention that hubby and I were swingers etc....
Now my question is, do you only play with someone else who\'s into the lifestyle? This guy really wanted to get in on some action with me and now thinking about it, I just feel nervous. It has brought back old anxieties about when I was single and all the single assholes out there that were looking to just get laid and kick you to the curb. At least in this lifestyle, you get to know people and there is a certain kind of understanding about sex and you usually know that the person you will be fucking cares about you in some respect.
I am trying to make a decision about whether to let this guy in or not for some play. I just can\'t decide how I feel about it.
Any input would be appreciated!!!
XOXOXO
Jen
We try to never let the two groups of friends mix, atleast the topic. His eagerness is a bit scary that he would jump at the chance to do it. I would take it slow and see how it unfolds and not just plan a meeting the next time you get together. I would also keep your other half in on this plan and make sure they are in for it as well. I\'m sure you already do this just hopefully reinforcing what your already thinking.
Not sure how much that helped.
Not sure how much that helped.
When all else fails listen to your \"gut instinct\". It\'s better to be safe than sorry.
(practiced) Lifestylers have a certain mentality that should be taken in to consideration. They understand how the game is played, for lack of a better term.
It has been our experience that involving vanilla men can be fun initially, but in the end, we have regretted it most times.
Just our .02 cents.
Luvbugs!
It has been our experience that involving vanilla men can be fun initially, but in the end, we have regretted it most times.
Just our .02 cents.
Luvbugs!
Something to consider is that non-swingers often view swingers as people who will sleep with anyone as long as they are breathing, hence much of the eagerness expressed on the non-swingers part to be involved. Single males who are into swinging at least understand that they have been chosen and there is such as thing as discretion involved in such encounters.
This isn\'t always the case, but it is something we have experienced with some of our friends who aren\'t swingers that have open enough minds to handle the fact that we are, but don\'t get that we don\'t have sex with any and every available person. If you do decide to go ahead with it, I would suggest that you have a real talk with this guy to make sure he really understands where you\'re coming from and where things are headed (ie. no kissing or anything else and then telling, unless you don\'t mind).
My .02
-SG
This isn\'t always the case, but it is something we have experienced with some of our friends who aren\'t swingers that have open enough minds to handle the fact that we are, but don\'t get that we don\'t have sex with any and every available person. If you do decide to go ahead with it, I would suggest that you have a real talk with this guy to make sure he really understands where you\'re coming from and where things are headed (ie. no kissing or anything else and then telling, unless you don\'t mind).
My .02
-SG
I would not worry so much that the young guy in question is too eager. Thats common with the young ones. You need to talk with him and make sure he understands what descretion means and what you expect of him before and after. Will he keep his mouth shut to his buddies and protect your privacy? This is what worries us with the young ones.
Most of the guys we have talked with that were supposidly in the \"lifestyle\" turned out to just be married guys looking to score on the side or guys who ran across the web site trying to get laid. We only met one man who really was a regular swinger type. Its always a crap shoot.
Your a hot looking woman, Im sure he is eager to try you.
Most of the guys we have talked with that were supposidly in the \"lifestyle\" turned out to just be married guys looking to score on the side or guys who ran across the web site trying to get laid. We only met one man who really was a regular swinger type. Its always a crap shoot.
Your a hot looking woman, Im sure he is eager to try you.
We prefer not to mix the two sides of our life up! That is, we keep to ourselves that we are swingers with everyone except other swingers. Isn\'t that what \"Discreet\" means? We have only had one couple approach us at a \"non-swinger\" social function and talk to us like we should be getting together with them - all while in front of our real-life friends. When this thoughtless couple left our table, the other 3 couples there asked what that was all about. We actually ignored the question and went right on enjoying our evening -- without any real trouble.
We always talk to each other in private when we are out at a night club and wonder between ourselves how this or that person might be in bed -- but we never act on those impulses. It is our belief that most people would be shocked, but not necessarily in awe about our swinging behavior. Therefore, we do not ask non-swingers to play with us.
Most of the other responses here are right on target. Those that do not have experience with swinging are not really prepared to handle the social/sexual interactions between 3 or 4 people -- hell, most swingers we know (including us) don\'t do a very good job of handling it!
There certainly seem to be alot of very hot swingers to choose from at this website, we wonder why you would have to go outside to find what you are looking for?
We always talk to each other in private when we are out at a night club and wonder between ourselves how this or that person might be in bed -- but we never act on those impulses. It is our belief that most people would be shocked, but not necessarily in awe about our swinging behavior. Therefore, we do not ask non-swingers to play with us.
Most of the other responses here are right on target. Those that do not have experience with swinging are not really prepared to handle the social/sexual interactions between 3 or 4 people -- hell, most swingers we know (including us) don\'t do a very good job of handling it!
There certainly seem to be alot of very hot swingers to choose from at this website, we wonder why you would have to go outside to find what you are looking for?
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! We are not \"seasoned\" swingers by any means, and I appreciate more veteran input. I knew my guts were telling me something was not right, and honestly, I now really regret having said anything to him at first.
Yes there are plenty of hot swingers here on this site and it wasn\'t that I needed to go outside of it to find action..it was my drunken flirting that got the best of me
Wont do that again!
Thanks again guys!
Yes there are plenty of hot swingers here on this site and it wasn\'t that I needed to go outside of it to find action..it was my drunken flirting that got the best of me
Wont do that again!Thanks again guys!