I have been in the lifestyle for a year and a half, not as actively as I'd like to be as a result my experiences have been few and far between.
I've run into this problem that I meet single men or couples with positive intentions. Things are great but then the 'friendship' seems to fizzle. I like to know a little about the people I am active with, I would like to have something in common other than our parts fit together. A personality can add so much to an active sex life. I'm not looking for anything serious but I would really like to establish some sort of a friendship.
I'm fairly easy going, pretty down to earth but I can't seem to find a right fit.
I can't imagine that everyone is having the same issue, any suggestions would be helpful, I would like to have a frequent playmate or playmates - I must be doing something wrong? Is there no room for friends in this lifestyle?
I've run into this problem that I meet single men or couples with positive intentions. Things are great but then the 'friendship' seems to fizzle. I like to know a little about the people I am active with, I would like to have something in common other than our parts fit together. A personality can add so much to an active sex life. I'm not looking for anything serious but I would really like to establish some sort of a friendship.
I'm fairly easy going, pretty down to earth but I can't seem to find a right fit.
I can't imagine that everyone is having the same issue, any suggestions would be helpful, I would like to have a frequent playmate or playmates - I must be doing something wrong? Is there no room for friends in this lifestyle?
ABCMAN - Thank you for the advice; no worries, I asked for it so I better be able to take it!
I did want to clarify, I'm not clingy in any sort of way. When I say friendship that's all I mean. I would like to meet a single man or a couple that I can spend some time with drinks, movies, whatever it may be and then have the sexual part there as an option, no pressure. We get together to play sometimes and then sometimes we get together to enjoy each others company.
Maybe I'm not explaining it very well...
(
I did want to clarify, I'm not clingy in any sort of way. When I say friendship that's all I mean. I would like to meet a single man or a couple that I can spend some time with drinks, movies, whatever it may be and then have the sexual part there as an option, no pressure. We get together to play sometimes and then sometimes we get together to enjoy each others company.
Maybe I'm not explaining it very well...
(We would love to get to know you as friends!! Just got to keep trying to find the right fit!!
Sex is our main focus here, really. And, that is not a great foundation for friendship/relationship. Some people will see you as a life-support system for a pussy.
Personally, I've never had sex with anyone I didn't at least like. And, I respected them as people and have even maintained friendship with them. But I think it will be rare to really connect on multiple levels with someone met for the purpose of sexual gratification.
Speaking for myself, this is only a part of my life. It's a very exciting part, but still just a small part. And, part of the excitement is that it is secret. So it would make sense that the contacts through here would generally remain compartmentalized and secret. When dealing with a couple, one really is a stranger, and only physically intimate, not intimate to the majority of their life together.
I'm just talking here, so you can take or leave whatever I say. Though we are open to a richer relationship than just casual sex, it is not likely to get there. If I was looking for a gf/bf, then I would do the regular dating thing, and not the hookup thing.
Best of luck . . .
Personally, I've never had sex with anyone I didn't at least like. And, I respected them as people and have even maintained friendship with them. But I think it will be rare to really connect on multiple levels with someone met for the purpose of sexual gratification.
Speaking for myself, this is only a part of my life. It's a very exciting part, but still just a small part. And, part of the excitement is that it is secret. So it would make sense that the contacts through here would generally remain compartmentalized and secret. When dealing with a couple, one really is a stranger, and only physically intimate, not intimate to the majority of their life together.
I'm just talking here, so you can take or leave whatever I say. Though we are open to a richer relationship than just casual sex, it is not likely to get there. If I was looking for a gf/bf, then I would do the regular dating thing, and not the hookup thing.
Best of luck . . .
Sigh, I've tried to reply three different times.
Every time I get a friend request or an e-mail it freezes my computer and I have to log back in.
I wonder what the deal is.
Oh and to be clear I'm not looking for a gf/bf. Just good friends that I do.
Every time I get a friend request or an e-mail it freezes my computer and I have to log back in.
I wonder what the deal is.
Oh and to be clear I'm not looking for a gf/bf. Just good friends that I do.
We call it true colors. You are finding out the people you have met real intentions. So many say one thing and then do another. We say what we mean and mean what we say, and I think this takes many by surprise. We have singles like you as friends and neither of us has had any security issues. You can keep looking or move to Florida near us.
BELIEVER, the unfortunate truth of it is, there are folks in the Lifestyle who are "wham, bam, thank ya ma'am/man" kinda people.
Users, if you will.
There are singles of both sex who will use couples or other singles then not want any more to do with them.
But as a single, I've encountered the same thing from couples who, after I fullfilled their one time need, no longer wanted anything to do with me.
On the other hand, there are a number of couples and other singles in the Lifestyle that I've become great friends with.
Sincere, honest and friendly people FAR outnumber the jerks in the Lifestyle.
Folks in the Lifestyle, just as with Vanilla folks, are a cross-section of society - and the fun people far outnumber the users.
You're going to encounter both good and bad.
The important thing is to not give up.
As I said, there are a LOT of GREAT people in this world, both in and out of the Lifestyle - and you'll find them.
Good luck - and Happy Swinging.
Users, if you will.
There are singles of both sex who will use couples or other singles then not want any more to do with them.
But as a single, I've encountered the same thing from couples who, after I fullfilled their one time need, no longer wanted anything to do with me.
On the other hand, there are a number of couples and other singles in the Lifestyle that I've become great friends with.
Sincere, honest and friendly people FAR outnumber the jerks in the Lifestyle.
Folks in the Lifestyle, just as with Vanilla folks, are a cross-section of society - and the fun people far outnumber the users.
You're going to encounter both good and bad.
The important thing is to not give up.
As I said, there are a LOT of GREAT people in this world, both in and out of the Lifestyle - and you'll find them.
Good luck - and Happy Swinging.
A friendship is important to me also. Despite many opportunities, I personally do not have sex with anyone I can not connect with. Sex is too intimate not to let it uplift us and let love flow not just physical juices. That said, that connection does not have to break a realtionship or lead to dependence. If one is mature and genuine it all works out.
It's like a dance but with more overt rather than covert sexuality.
It will happen when the time is right as long as you keep yourself open.
Peggy and I are both singles that met in the lifestyle. We became good friends and swing together when her schedule allows. We both have grown from knowing each other. That is what friendship is about. Recently, she has formed a relationship outside the lifestyle so that further limits her time.
I (Larry) have met other single women in the lifestyle, formed friendships and we partner to travel to lifestyle events, conventions and cruises.
There are still more events than the time my women friends have so I am open to another swing partner.
Trust that it will work out.
Larry
It's like a dance but with more overt rather than covert sexuality.
It will happen when the time is right as long as you keep yourself open.
Peggy and I are both singles that met in the lifestyle. We became good friends and swing together when her schedule allows. We both have grown from knowing each other. That is what friendship is about. Recently, she has formed a relationship outside the lifestyle so that further limits her time.
I (Larry) have met other single women in the lifestyle, formed friendships and we partner to travel to lifestyle events, conventions and cruises.
There are still more events than the time my women friends have so I am open to another swing partner.
Trust that it will work out.
Larry
I seem to be on the opposite end of things. Don't get me wrong, I love having all my friends on here and I love making new friends and such things... BUT I don't look to make friends with my sex partners. I don't look to get along with sex partners on more than a very basic understanding. If friendship happens, that's awesome, but it's not what I look for if that makes any more sense. I look even less when finding booty calls with singles. I have my partner, singles are booty call only and only a handful get called a 2nd time. In a very crude way of explaining it, I'm looking to have sex with their body, not their personality. And again, I'm going to state the fact that I try my best to be nice to everyone and love all the friends I've made and will prolly love all the new friends I'll make in the future. Just simply saying I don't need them to be my friend when I'm having sex with them. 
Hope that makes sense and doesn't sound too rude and/or retarded. lmao.
Hope that makes sense and doesn't sound too rude and/or retarded. lmao.CRASH9500 wrote:
Hello Kitty,
We have never really hooked up yet with anyone but keep looking. Sometimes I think that it would be fine to have another person to just have hang around and keep things interesting. good luck with it all and hope it gets more fun for you..
I've been on the site for over 5 years and had an absolute blast and love all the friends we have made. And yes, it is great to have all these like minded friends to be able to hang out with. Just stating that friendship is not a necessary for me as far as sexual playmates go. I don't look to make friends before jumping into bed with someone.
With all the response I've gotten from this post it has renewed my hope I suppose.
Hello Kitty - You are right, few are looking for friendship.
As I'm learning it takes all kinds to make this lifestyle work.
I guess I have made it hard on myself just by expecting friendship so I will just cool my jets and maybe after some time I will find a couple or a good friend that will work with that we both want.
Maybe I will need to take a trip to Florida...
Hello Kitty - You are right, few are looking for friendship.
As I'm learning it takes all kinds to make this lifestyle work.
I guess I have made it hard on myself just by expecting friendship so I will just cool my jets and maybe after some time I will find a couple or a good friend that will work with that we both want.
Maybe I will need to take a trip to Florida...