I'm not sure which forum to put this in lol but I have a question about responding to emails.
As a newcomer I wonder, how do you filter your email?
If you can see their picture next to the inbox email and there is no attraction is it better to reply nicely or disregard it not saying anything?
I'm just curious. I try to reply to everyone out of common courtesy weather there is an attraction or not.
Safari
As a newcomer I wonder, how do you filter your email?
If you can see their picture next to the inbox email and there is no attraction is it better to reply nicely or disregard it not saying anything?
I'm just curious. I try to reply to everyone out of common courtesy weather there is an attraction or not.
Safari
I will normally respond to most e-mails even if there's no sexual interest. Since you are new please keep in mind there are many who don't consider the HIGHLY ANNOYING "You have a friend request" contact (without any previous correspondence) a legitimate e-mail. I delete these things by the boat load with no guilt nor remorse.
We try to responed to all mail just cus we fill that is the right thing to do and you never know you mite just like how they are
We think that if a person takes the time to express interest, common courtesy, dictates a response. Positive or negative, no need to be rude, we can handle it.
we try to answer all f-mails good or bad it is the right thing to do
Thank you for your replies. Helps to kinda give newbies a feel for the site. lol
FRIENDS1ST wrote:
We always send an email introducing our selves with a friend request. We usually just take them off of our friends list if we never hear from them. We figure that they had seen our pictures and just were not into us. We understand that not every one is going to go for us but it would be nice to at least hear it from them and not have to wonder if they are just too busy to email back, or they were just fishing for pictures, or just not interested? We are cool either way, rejection is a part of this site that we have prepared to deal with. We would way rather hear the truth then to not know what they are thinking.
Hey...I think you're pretty awesome people! Pics are just the surface of who you are and don't even come close to portraying the warm, friendly, fun, sexy couple you two are.
Just sayin.
xox
Tammy
To the OP,
I don't respond and delete emails without pics. To read a profile and disregard a blatant request that a face pic be either attached or on the profile is a sign of ignorance not to mention disrespectful. I have no tolerance for that.
Now if your profile doesn't state that pics should be available then the appropriate thing to do is to politely ask for one.
Just my 2 cents. That a couple of dollars will get a grande cup of brewed coffee at Starbucks. LOL
I don't respond and delete emails without pics. To read a profile and disregard a blatant request that a face pic be either attached or on the profile is a sign of ignorance not to mention disrespectful. I have no tolerance for that.
Now if your profile doesn't state that pics should be available then the appropriate thing to do is to politely ask for one.
Just my 2 cents. That a couple of dollars will get a grande cup of brewed coffee at Starbucks. LOL
We are actually on the other end of those emails. We have emailed so many on here to be friendly or to try to meet someone with no reply's that we dont even try anymore. We dont have the luxury of being able to go to meet and greets or the bars to meet anybody. We know we arent the best looking but it would be nice with a little courtesy even if you arent interested to say no thank you. As for the jumping to conclusions that quite a few people do we have a great time with the few people we know from here. But, they are the same way. Not very much time to get out whether a bbysitter thats far and few in between, work, or like us school and bbysitters.
I think we should all wear thick skins when dealing with people. Know that there will be those that respond and those that don't. If you don't wish to respond. Don't feel guilty. I think most people with common sense will put two and two together.
We prefer to answer those we want to and ignore the ones we're not interested in. I've had to many akward experiences with those that hate being rejected and take it personal. There is no "RIGHT THING TO DO" other than what you choose to do.. Do what makes you feel comfortable and what you think feels right. Don't let anyone guilt you into responding to all your mail. Do it if you want to.
-D-
We prefer to answer those we want to and ignore the ones we're not interested in. I've had to many akward experiences with those that hate being rejected and take it personal. There is no "RIGHT THING TO DO" other than what you choose to do.. Do what makes you feel comfortable and what you think feels right. Don't let anyone guilt you into responding to all your mail. Do it if you want to.
-D-
We ae with FL4Fun on this one. We respond to all mail except the "friend Request" that doesn't come with some other communication
I think the answer to this is a no-brainer.
If you're out in public somewhere, and a total stranger says "hello", do you give them the courtesy of a response - or do you just blow them off because you don't like the way they look, the way they're dressed, the way they comb their hair, their accent, etc.?
As mentioned earlier - it's just common courtesy.
A simple "thanks for the e-mail, but we're not interested" doesn't cost you a thing.
If you're out in public somewhere, and a total stranger says "hello", do you give them the courtesy of a response - or do you just blow them off because you don't like the way they look, the way they're dressed, the way they comb their hair, their accent, etc.?
As mentioned earlier - it's just common courtesy.
A simple "thanks for the e-mail, but we're not interested" doesn't cost you a thing.
Carrierman,
A better analogy would be snail mail and not a face-to-face encounter. So ask yourself. Do you respond to every solicitation in your mail? No you don't. If you do... I would love to see it. haha. It has nothing to do with courtesy. It has to do with personal interest. One should feel no obligation to reply to every solicitation they get. It's ridiculous. A face-to-face encounter is entirely different than someone sending you an offer in the mail.
Again, don't let someone guilt you into something. We prefer to avoid the awkward situations and only reply when we're interest. No answer speaks for itself. This is an opinion, just like all others. You should go with what works for you.
-D-
A better analogy would be snail mail and not a face-to-face encounter. So ask yourself. Do you respond to every solicitation in your mail? No you don't. If you do... I would love to see it. haha. It has nothing to do with courtesy. It has to do with personal interest. One should feel no obligation to reply to every solicitation they get. It's ridiculous. A face-to-face encounter is entirely different than someone sending you an offer in the mail.
Again, don't let someone guilt you into something. We prefer to avoid the awkward situations and only reply when we're interest. No answer speaks for itself. This is an opinion, just like all others. You should go with what works for you.
-D-
So accord to tequilarose there is no need to read anymore because we can judge a book to be good or bad by its cover. I didn't know replying no thank you was that awkward, maybe the awkward part is when you dont reply "no thankyou" and the other people are wondering things like, Did they get it? Are they interested? I didnt think we were soliciting anything, to be soliciting dont you have to offering a service for money? I thought we were on this to meet good people and to have some fun. Usually I've found in my life if you feel guilty than you have done something wrong that you dont feel right about.
I'm failing to understand why people get so bent out of shape by a simple non-response?
~J~
~J~
Am I required to respond to that deposed King of Nigeria that keeps sending me e-mails? He wants to give me a million dollars but I'm still not interested. (Picky bitch aren't I)
We think that a personal mail usually deserves a reply, with the exception of ones where the senders clearly haven't read or grasped the recipients' profile. On the other hand, we don't think there is any obligation to respond to friend requests without an accompanying message - it seems a bit like doorbell ditching :-)
We try to answer all e-mails but admit we slip here and there and forget one once in a while. When sending e-mails, which we rarely do, we take a no reply as a no thanks. One time we got a generic no thanks, we are not a match at this time. We met the couple at a group event over a year later and they approached us and started chatting. We all hit it off and they admitted how stupid they felt for turning us down and that they were very glad we were open minded to still want to get to know them after being turned down.
Maybe it is better to simply not respond so you don`t risk burning a bridge that you might want to cross some day. This couple thought they had burned their bridge with us but we are just that nice of a couple to still talk to them LOL. And honestly, we have bigger troubles to deal with then a couple not writing back to us to turn us down.
Maybe it is better to simply not respond so you don`t risk burning a bridge that you might want to cross some day. This couple thought they had burned their bridge with us but we are just that nice of a couple to still talk to them LOL. And honestly, we have bigger troubles to deal with then a couple not writing back to us to turn us down.
I guess you should look at the content of the message and decide what to do on a case by case basis. But you probably would be better off disregarding because you are not initially interested. This makes it easier for everyone. It also save you time because you may have an inbox that is flooded with mail and responses.
Ok, and please don't jump on and flame me for this - this is just my 2 cents worth on a very touchy subject - as a voice for single males in the lifestyle... Shit sometimes happens in cyberspace, servers or browsers mess up and mail does not get delivered, or gets accidentally deleted. I have many times written to couples expressing my interest in getting to know them, and hopefully getting an opportunity for some "fun". I accept every reply of no thanks or not interested in the most gracious way, and I not them in my book of "don't mail - not interested" so that I don't get them annoyed at me. On the side of "no response means no" - I say that if you never got my request, or never read it, do I know it was delivered to you? So here is my compromise solution - I completely agree about the pointless friend requests, and if someone is being a pest - block them, but if the person is writing a legitimate request/inquiry, please send a short note that acknowledges them, and that you don't think they are right for now - wish them luck in their quest. Then after that kind of a reply if the person is a jerk - block them, but if like me the person is a well mannered adult they will know you got and read their mail, and that you are not interested for now. I really don't feel you have burned a bridge by saying you are not interested.
If I don't get a reply after a month to 6 weeks, I send a follow up - I know it pisses some people off, but if they had responeded they would not get further mail from me. This is especially true for couples with profiles that say single males - if they say specifically in the text of thier profile they are not interested in single men, I might send a short note asking they amend the profile option. But if they say they are interested in single men, but I get no reply at all, and then they get mad when I write again after 6 months - jeeze, how was I to know you wern't interested and never wanted to hear from me again?
Ok enough ranting - back to reviewing profiles....
If I don't get a reply after a month to 6 weeks, I send a follow up - I know it pisses some people off, but if they had responeded they would not get further mail from me. This is especially true for couples with profiles that say single males - if they say specifically in the text of thier profile they are not interested in single men, I might send a short note asking they amend the profile option. But if they say they are interested in single men, but I get no reply at all, and then they get mad when I write again after 6 months - jeeze, how was I to know you wern't interested and never wanted to hear from me again?
Ok enough ranting - back to reviewing profiles....
This is a glass is half full or half empty question for sure....guess mine is half full because i don't mind sending or receiving emails of any sort its all correspondence with other human beings... i don't think its rude either way if we get ignored its OK. i just assume its a no if we get a friendly email back that says no then its a no..the only one that annoys us is when we get a friend request and we send a letter explaining why we wont except it and we get the same request everyday for a month after that. I guess if you see emails from people that aren't your perfect ideal people as spam mail your glass if half empty...but hey this lifestyle is all about something for everyone so i say dont sweat the small shit find what you like and enjoy life ...thanks for listening Lucky and Naugh-Ty
THOUGHTGARDEN wrote:
I'm failing to understand why people get so bent out of shape by a simple non-response?
~J~
If you ever do... can you please be so kind to explain it to us... lol
Perfect baby!! I could not have said it better!!! Kisses...Naugh-Ty
SAFARIJANE,
Good questions... This is our take on this subject: If a couple takes the time to write us an email introducing themselves, we always write a response, even if there is no attraction, just because is the right thing to do and we can always be friends. If we just get a "Friend Request" without a follow up email, we don't feel the need to respond to that. Furthermore, our profile clearly states that we do not want singles (males or females) to contact us... But we do get that as well and even though we might get an email from singles with that request we simply do not respond as it clearly shows the disregard to our wishes stated on our profile. Now, if the senders are a couple we have met and we know who they are, we go right ahead and add them to our friends' list for the obvious reasons. A non-response should not be such a big deal, anyone has the right to say no in different ways. At the bottom of our profile we have added "If you don't get a response in a timely manner from us, please take is as a polite "no thanks" with no hard feelings." and that should be enough. No one owes anyone anything, much less a response to an automated email.
Good questions... This is our take on this subject: If a couple takes the time to write us an email introducing themselves, we always write a response, even if there is no attraction, just because is the right thing to do and we can always be friends. If we just get a "Friend Request" without a follow up email, we don't feel the need to respond to that. Furthermore, our profile clearly states that we do not want singles (males or females) to contact us... But we do get that as well and even though we might get an email from singles with that request we simply do not respond as it clearly shows the disregard to our wishes stated on our profile. Now, if the senders are a couple we have met and we know who they are, we go right ahead and add them to our friends' list for the obvious reasons. A non-response should not be such a big deal, anyone has the right to say no in different ways. At the bottom of our profile we have added "If you don't get a response in a timely manner from us, please take is as a polite "no thanks" with no hard feelings." and that should be enough. No one owes anyone anything, much less a response to an automated email.
Reply and ye shall be replied back...hvydude 1 verse 2
LPF_69 wrote:
- if they say specifically in the text of thier profile they are not interested in single men, I might send a short note asking they amend the profile option.
Wait..wait...let me get this straight...a couple has already taken the time to put in their profile that they are not interested in single men...but you still "send a short note asking they amend the profile option"? Why? They have already stated they do not want a single male, why should they have to take the time to reply to each and every person who thinks they are the one who is amazingly going to change their standards...AND...if they don't take the time to reply to you then you are going to keep emailing them and have the nerve to ask how were you supposed to know that they weren't interested and never wanted to hear from you again?? Let me tell you how you know----they already said no single males THEN they didn't reply to your unwanted advances...News flash!!! THEY AREN'T INTERESTED!!! You claim to be a "well mannered adult" but you fail to respect the simple request of no single men?? Sorry if I am "jumping on or flaming" you but you opened yourself up for this by declaring yourself "a voice for single males in the lifestyle"...
Most of us live very busy lives between work, home, children, spouses and everything else that we don't have 10 minutes to ourselves let alone enough time to personally respond to each and every email that we get every day!!! I try to respond to most but if I don't then please just take that as a polite "no thank you" (like alot have already said)...so I guess enough ranting...back to being wife/lover/mom/friend/nurse/teacher/maid/etc...(wish I had enough time to sit around and review profiles...hahaha)...kisses...Naugh-Ty
P.S. Not intended to piss anyone off...just my own "tired-irritable-actually have strong opinions on a subject" opinion
...kissesHey, ya know what? our email is ... [email protected] We will fiter our own mail, hopefully its all good!..lol
Hehehe...nice wolf kisses!!
kisses!!NAUGHTYGIRL101 wrote:LPF_69 wrote:
- if they say specifically in the text of thier profile they are not interested in single men, I might send a short note asking they amend the profile option.
Wait..wait...let me get this straight...a couple has already taken the time to put in their profile that they are not interested in single men...but you still "send a short note asking they amend the profile option"? Why? They have already stated they do not want a single male, why should they have to take the time to reply to each and every person who thinks they are the one who is amazingly going to change their standards...AND...if they don't take the time to reply to you then you are going to keep emailing them and have the nerve to ask how were you supposed to know that they weren't interested and never wanted to hear from you again??
Naughty... I read the post from LPF_69 as genuine. I did a quick search of couples seeking single males and had little trouble finding one (partial name..PLAYFUN..) that is seeking single males (by profile option) but plainly states:no single guys pls we contact you if she wants you.
This couple has opened themselves up to countless emails from single guys who miss reading that part. If they want to initiate contact to the SM they should change that "seeking" option to prevent their own frustration. So by LPF_69 pointing out that a profile option of seeking SM contact is actually well thought out and quite polite. He isn't saying he is trying to convince them that he is an exception to the rule, but only to illustrate a way they can minimize contact from the Single Males they prefer not to hear from.
When a single guy searches wouldn't you hope he limits his search to those that are actually seeking SM?
I also agree with LPF_69 on statements like messages do not get delivered due to a variety of reasons. I've typed and submitted many instant messages in the swingular chat room only to have the cyber monster eat it and it never go through so I do it again.
I honestly try to give a thanks but no thanks on every email where there is not interest and deny/delete unsolicited friends request that doesn't have an actual email with it.
I certainly appreciate the time someone spends to reply "not interested" when they are not and a "lets proceed" when they are.
CUTECPL...thank you on your insight to how you interpreted that post...that is one downfall to our cyber age is that there is so much room for misinterpretation...and thanks for not being rude about it..lol
I agree that some are conflicting in their preferences (some by mistake and some by pure ignorance) and that does open them up for the mass emails...
As far as the messages not getting delivered...I too see this happen in chat...but our email system has the wonderful ability to be able to see if a message has been read by the recipient...so if you see that your message has been read and you have not gotten a response then why is that not a sufficient "Thanks but no thanks" or maybe they'll think about it and get back to you...
I think it's wonderful that people have the time to respond to each and every email hit they get...great, more power to you...but all some of us are saying is not all of us have that time and/or desire to do that and a no response should be not considered rude or ignorant...I would much rather spend the X amount of minutes I might have to respond to my emails, going into a little more depth or info on an email from someone I/we are interested in than to have to split that time up to include the one we're not interested in so they don't get their feelings hurt because we didn't say "thanks but no thanks"...anyway...just my thoughts for the evening...lol...kisses
I agree that some are conflicting in their preferences (some by mistake and some by pure ignorance) and that does open them up for the mass emails...
As far as the messages not getting delivered...I too see this happen in chat...but our email system has the wonderful ability to be able to see if a message has been read by the recipient...so if you see that your message has been read and you have not gotten a response then why is that not a sufficient "Thanks but no thanks" or maybe they'll think about it and get back to you...
I think it's wonderful that people have the time to respond to each and every email hit they get...great, more power to you...but all some of us are saying is not all of us have that time and/or desire to do that and a no response should be not considered rude or ignorant...I would much rather spend the X amount of minutes I might have to respond to my emails, going into a little more depth or info on an email from someone I/we are interested in than to have to split that time up to include the one we're not interested in so they don't get their feelings hurt because we didn't say "thanks but no thanks"...anyway...just my thoughts for the evening...lol...kisses
Wish that there we more people that would just answer, even with a not interested, or fuck off. I can take it. Rejection is part of the process of meeting new friends. NOT everyone is going to accept you,no matter what you do or say. Those of you that have chosen NOT to answer me.... Good Luck with your endeavors. Swing
We are wondering kinda the same thing, but we are the ones emailing and getting no answer. I feel like we are all adults and even if you dont think we would be a match then you could at least be poliete and say so or just have us as chatting friends. Im lost on this. We are looking at the profiles and think we would be a good match and the emails i send are personal to that person but not even getting a "No way in hell" answer.
so, when i logged on today, i had an email from a single guy...he said something to the effect of, well, i know you have it in your profile that you are not doing single guys right now, but it also says that on rare occasions you do single guys so i thought i would email you blah blah....i could have ignored the message....cuz yeah, we are not into single guys right now..and how dare he send us an email even if it says on rare occasions we accept single guys....but then i was like....OMG he read our profile...a single guy read our profile..thats a first. so i, in turn..checked out his profile and was like...hey, he is a cool guy...so i emailed him back and said id be getting ahold of him when we are off our break..i was in a good place with it.
that however is not the norm by any means. usually we just get blind friend requests with no correspondence as was mentioned before in earlier posts..
oh, yeah...and the whole i dont know if they got my message so ill email them ten times doesnt work cuz if you are messaging someone on swingular, in your outbox it will say if they read it or not.
oh yeah, as for the topic, in my opinion, its all about personal preference.
that however is not the norm by any means. usually we just get blind friend requests with no correspondence as was mentioned before in earlier posts..
oh, yeah...and the whole i dont know if they got my message so ill email them ten times doesnt work cuz if you are messaging someone on swingular, in your outbox it will say if they read it or not.
oh yeah, as for the topic, in my opinion, its all about personal preference.
JENNANDBRANDON wrote:
but then i was like....OMG he read our profile...a single guy read our profile..thats a first.
That is so funny! Good post.
Mr. C
I just wish someone would email me... my inbox is always empty....
If I can tell by their profile pic that there is no attraction, and they have sent us an automated friend request with no correspondence, it is an automatic deny. If they can't take a few seconds to send me a note saying why they are interested, I don't feel obligated to send any kind of a response back.
If we get a email saying they read our profile and are interested, and we are not attracted, we try to at least send something back that says "thank you for the email or friend request, but we are not interested." But honestly, that doesn't always happen.
And if we get an automated friend request and they are attractive to us, I would still appreciate a follow up email, and usually will not just accept them without emailing them first. I don't want to just open my private pics to anyone who wants to see them just to get a peek. We try to have the same courtesy.
If we get a email saying they read our profile and are interested, and we are not attracted, we try to at least send something back that says "thank you for the email or friend request, but we are not interested." But honestly, that doesn't always happen.
And if we get an automated friend request and they are attractive to us, I would still appreciate a follow up email, and usually will not just accept them without emailing them first. I don't want to just open my private pics to anyone who wants to see them just to get a peek. We try to have the same courtesy.