We were posed with this question a few weeks ago from a newbie couple. They had asked us, after how long of chatting & mailing do you wait to give up ?? We ourselves have had the experiance of talking to a couple, both on the computer, and on the phone for a long period of time. We have just recently began to quit trying to meet these type of people. After a year of never having the chance to get out, or so they say, we feel as though it's time to give up. Any other thought's on this matter ??
We live in a resort so it is not uncommon to talk 6-9 mos before they get a chance to come to the beach. Now if a couple is close we expect to meet within the month if nothing else but to say HI and make sure they are real. We don't care as we meet almost anyone to say HI and if not compatible for play they might make great friends!!
We do make the plans of when and where to meet, so if they do not show we have fun anyway!
We do make the plans of when and where to meet, so if they do not show we have fun anyway!
It depends on how patient you are and how much you are attracted to the couple. However, don't just zero in on one couple and not try to meet others. Who knows, maybe someone just down the road might log in who is also appealing.
If couple can't get out for a long period of time we just stop trying. I think they are either don't know what they want or just can't tell you NO. In any case we just stop even trying. Sometimes that kind of people e-mail you asking when we gonna meet then they get excuses not to meet. Makes us mad. 
I think that after 2 or 3 genuine attempts to set a date for a meet; if it hasn't happened it probably won't. but then there are exceptions to every rule
Hi all.
When arranging a date with another couple we know that matching can be a problem. Don't forget that there are people that don't have 9-5 jobs and work in weekends too. Then you have the problem that the ladies have once a month too. Trying to arrange something can be very difficult when you have a job where you must work on times when other couples relax.
A hug from The Netherlands!!
When arranging a date with another couple we know that matching can be a problem. Don't forget that there are people that don't have 9-5 jobs and work in weekends too. Then you have the problem that the ladies have once a month too. Trying to arrange something can be very difficult when you have a job where you must work on times when other couples relax.
A hug from The Netherlands!!
trying to arrange for four people can be stressful. Another good alternative is to try to find parties in your area. That way you can meet many couples at once and there is much less pressure involved if you don't find someone attractive.
Yes, a party is a very good option. We have visited several party's from 8 to 50 people and there was most times a nice couple to have fun with. And if not, you can have a lot of fun together in an erotic atmosphere.
Alex and bea
Alex and bea
We, too, have chatted forever it seems, but now we plan a party for a small group, asking the new ones for input on date, if they come GREAT, if not then we all have fun anyway
Sue
Sue
If the couples is close, We like to try and meet in about a month. However things don't always work out. My husband has a job where he has to travel sometimes with only a few hours notice and normally for several days.
For the most part we try to give everyone a chance. We avoid the ones not willing to share a pic or show on webcam. We avoid the ones that refuse to call on the phone.
For the most part we try to give everyone a chance. We avoid the ones not willing to share a pic or show on webcam. We avoid the ones that refuse to call on the phone.
Don't Give Up !! :$:
This lifestyle can/will last a lifetime, but it isn't always a 100% active everyweek.
We all have busy jobs, some still have children at home, we have errands we need
to get done when we are off, we make romantic time with our husband/wife.
We are just reg people that also have a lifestyle that is a little more difficult to
maintain because of it being taboo. We are always looking, always sending notes and messages, saving the ones that have an intrest. We have a folder called Far Away
Friends that we like ( incase we ever do get a chance to meet them ).
This lifestyle is just a little more high maintaince, so you work with it a little at a time
or alot at a time (depending on how sexual you feel ), but I love the sexual, erotic
feeling we get from swinging and the extended circle of friends.
Stay horney, don't give up
Pamela
This lifestyle can/will last a lifetime, but it isn't always a 100% active everyweek.
We all have busy jobs, some still have children at home, we have errands we need
to get done when we are off, we make romantic time with our husband/wife.
We are just reg people that also have a lifestyle that is a little more difficult to
maintain because of it being taboo. We are always looking, always sending notes and messages, saving the ones that have an intrest. We have a folder called Far Away
Friends that we like ( incase we ever do get a chance to meet them ).
This lifestyle is just a little more high maintaince, so you work with it a little at a time
or alot at a time (depending on how sexual you feel ), but I love the sexual, erotic
feeling we get from swinging and the extended circle of friends.
Stay horney, don't give up
Pamela
If they seem like very nice, considerate people and tell you up front that they have hectic schedules and obligations that limit their play I have found that patience is truly a virtue. I
we have tryed too meet couples and it allways seems our times and thier times
are never where we can meet then too we not looking too talk exchange pictures
we looking for real people too meet and too get with
if not soon something doesn't work out we going too try too find some clubs in
our area and not try too meet others on line
are never where we can meet then too we not looking too talk exchange pictures
we looking for real people too meet and too get with
if not soon something doesn't work out we going too try too find some clubs in
our area and not try too meet others on line
We make several attempts to set a meeting up with people but once we all agree to meet and the other party fails to show they get one more chance unless they had avery very good reason of course thier are always exceptions to this rule. If the cpl at the other end keeps asking for pics or wants to "cam" then that shows us theyare not ready we don't want to date these people we want to meet to have a good time dancing, partying and have sex so if they "jerk" us around too long we pretty much say NEXT!
N&S
N&S
We are willing to talk to a couple for a few weeks, maybe a month. But if they aren't available within a month or so we feel there is a reason we're not getting together. Either they really aren't interested and just don't know how to be candid; or they are don't really want to swing and are just looking for online "buddies." Our profile is pretty specific, so there really isn't much point in wasting time emailing and IMing. We use that venue for initial contact, but meeting is a pretty immediate goal.
For us we find it difficult to set a specific time limit because we all have lives to live and swinging is NOT the primary life. And the job pays the bills. We understand that there are things that might stand in the way that are beyond our control or that of our potential partners. Take each situation individually and decide based on its own merits as opposed to a hard/fast drop dead schedule.
this is a very hard question cause everybody lifes are different and very busy . if they live really close then i think they should be albe to find some time to hang out . but i also have been on the other side before also . we have 3 kids so its very hard for us to get out alot . and we only let family watch them so that makes it even harder .we love metting friends . and we will chat and hang out with anyone that is respectful . we are also looking for friends in the life style so we are in no rush to meet people or hook up .we tell everybody that we are looking for friends first . we dont expect anything nor do we promise anything . and when we can get out we tell everybody where we will be at and invite them to come also and hang out .and we hang out with who ever came plus we make new friends . but i dont worry about when and if people cant make it .life is busy . and i understand that . we just try to invite them to the next party . if theycome they come if they dont then they dont . we dont worry about it . and someone doesnt have to meet me to still be a chat buddie . when and if they ever want to come out to the club then they will come . if not no biggie .
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
iam new on this site . and i dont want to piss anyone off , but i dont understand why some people are in such a rush . we are very busy as iam sure alot of other people are also . iam a swinger 24 7 but i dont have 24 7 to spend on allllllllllllll my new friends . i have had people email me for the first time and say when and where do u want to meet ... a hello would be nice . alot of people look good or have the same stuff in their profiles . and yes ill talk to nayone that shows respect and wants to talk but i dont have time to meet every new person that i talk to . we invite everybody to the next party that we will be at . that way we can meet everybody and who ever we dont click with can excuse themeself and go hang out and meet other people to , and it waasnt like a rude no thank u .and for the ones with kids that we really get along with and want to spend more time with or want to hang out more often then just the clubs then we do family things with .we tell people to meet us at chuckie cheese so the kids can play and we can talk and just get to know people . i think alot of people feel pressured to just run out and meet the person and the always worring about what do i do if we dont click . and all of us just cant stop and meet during the week . and hubby normally works 6 days a week . so we have alot of things to do on his one and only day off . ill meet ya at walmart and we can shop and talk at the same time .
i know alot of people that just want to slowly get to know someone instead of just saying hi on the site and then meeting . and for as how long do u wait for someone ? as long as u want to . if they dont have the time to meet you , thats not their fault like a bad thing agaisnt u .some people just say a quick drink at the local bar for a few hours .... i have 3 kids i would love to have a couple of hours to myself to take a long hot shower .without anyone coming in .so that few hours that people talk about isnt so easy for all of us to get and spend with others that we dont even know . why are u waiting for a couple ????????the life style means other people ...... talk to alot of people . do things with the people that have time to do them when u do . have as many or few friends as u want . and enjoy them to the fullest when u are around them . and just enjoy whatever u are doing that day . if the people keep putting u off and its sorry ass excuses . like they have to watch the dog sleep . then i would take it as they are wasting my time . maybe they dont know how to say no thanks . but people who are chatting with u alot i would take it as they want to get to know you . we are on alot of sites and go to alot of parties . i say hi to everyone . and hang out with alot of people at the club . but i cant hang out with everybody all the time . and alot of people write and just ask to go out somewhere . or they always try to invite us to little things . sometimes we dont have time . sometime s we dont want to do whatever it is . and sometimes we already have plans . . alot of people dont seem to realize that everybody has a life and is busy and have plans for other things with other people . people get upset cause we miss thier party or stuff like that . first of all there is alot of parties and things going on . we cant go to them all .but that doesnt mean we didnt want to go or didnt want to hang out with that person . so we try to go to the club so we can invte everybody and whatever they are looking for or into they will find it there and everybody can have fun tog. and not at a house with just one couple . or a house party with 5 other couples that we already know or dont know . clubs and parties bring in people from 300 to 500 people . so we go to the parties when we can get out so we can see and hang out with everybody !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!like i said i am not trying to piss any one off but there is so many fun things to do why do people worry about all the what ifs and little things like this . there is alot of people to meet and get to know . say hi to everybody and talk more with the ones that u want to . to me its well worth the wait . when i do meet people cause then i have gotten to know them all . and the ones that we wouldnt click with so much we have alredy figured that out .and then when we do finally meet the ones we really like its like old friends running into each other and everybody is full of smiles and everybody ahs a great time .
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
i know alot of people that just want to slowly get to know someone instead of just saying hi on the site and then meeting . and for as how long do u wait for someone ? as long as u want to . if they dont have the time to meet you , thats not their fault like a bad thing agaisnt u .some people just say a quick drink at the local bar for a few hours .... i have 3 kids i would love to have a couple of hours to myself to take a long hot shower .without anyone coming in .so that few hours that people talk about isnt so easy for all of us to get and spend with others that we dont even know . why are u waiting for a couple ????????the life style means other people ...... talk to alot of people . do things with the people that have time to do them when u do . have as many or few friends as u want . and enjoy them to the fullest when u are around them . and just enjoy whatever u are doing that day . if the people keep putting u off and its sorry ass excuses . like they have to watch the dog sleep . then i would take it as they are wasting my time . maybe they dont know how to say no thanks . but people who are chatting with u alot i would take it as they want to get to know you . we are on alot of sites and go to alot of parties . i say hi to everyone . and hang out with alot of people at the club . but i cant hang out with everybody all the time . and alot of people write and just ask to go out somewhere . or they always try to invite us to little things . sometimes we dont have time . sometime s we dont want to do whatever it is . and sometimes we already have plans . . alot of people dont seem to realize that everybody has a life and is busy and have plans for other things with other people . people get upset cause we miss thier party or stuff like that . first of all there is alot of parties and things going on . we cant go to them all .but that doesnt mean we didnt want to go or didnt want to hang out with that person . so we try to go to the club so we can invte everybody and whatever they are looking for or into they will find it there and everybody can have fun tog. and not at a house with just one couple . or a house party with 5 other couples that we already know or dont know . clubs and parties bring in people from 300 to 500 people . so we go to the parties when we can get out so we can see and hang out with everybody !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!like i said i am not trying to piss any one off but there is so many fun things to do why do people worry about all the what ifs and little things like this . there is alot of people to meet and get to know . say hi to everybody and talk more with the ones that u want to . to me its well worth the wait . when i do meet people cause then i have gotten to know them all . and the ones that we wouldnt click with so much we have alredy figured that out .and then when we do finally meet the ones we really like its like old friends running into each other and everybody is full of smiles and everybody ahs a great time .
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
If we are talking about meeting a newbie couple that's one thing. If we are tlking about meeting a couple who has been in the lifestyle for a while that's something else. And then what time of year is it and where do you live. I remember a few years ago when we tried to get up with a couple and we had a series of ice storms... We'd go a week without power and then get things back to normal and boom another mess.. in NC if there is an ice storm or even a little snow everything stops until the snow melts or the ice melt or the power company gets power restored.. So there may be legitimate reasons for delays.. If the couple has been and is active in the lifestyle they may have reasons why they can't get together... Nights too short because of work... weekends already planned.. and we know that most parties are not spur of the moment.. So there's additional reasons.. But Newbie, they should typically not have the party/socials/lifestyle constraints so weekends should not be that difficult... We have a method whereby we meet someone at a foodcourt in a shopping mall. No fancy dress up no reservations and if someone doesn't show up because of cold feet.. we go shopping... or should I say she goes shopping and I carry and wait.
Oh that couple we had trouble getting up with... it took 5 months due to their schedules, ours, several emergencies on both parts.. It was someting to talk about when we finally got together.. Good friends now... SO Ship happens....Sometimes... If a date is made and it's broken without notice or for fishey reason, the contact ends..
Ray
Oh that couple we had trouble getting up with... it took 5 months due to their schedules, ours, several emergencies on both parts.. It was someting to talk about when we finally got together.. Good friends now... SO Ship happens....Sometimes... If a date is made and it's broken without notice or for fishey reason, the contact ends..
Ray
We ususally stop asking after about the second or third time. We leave it in their court. When this happens I would say about 90% of those never email or call. This shows us that they weren't serious about going out in the first place. "J"
We have thought about giving up, I dont know what people want from couples? Is it looks, weight , there alot of people out there that say looks dont matter. I mean I dont think we are ugly . Its so hard to find anyone......
We go on a case by case basis...The biggest determining factor is if they set up and cancel last minute or if they cannot set up. Also a large part is how attracted to them we are...the more atttracted, the more patience...BUT if they stop returning emails, phone calls, etc...We write them off as either fantasy swingers or those who do not know what they want.
We agree with the last post. If the couples doesn\'t respond then we move on, but if they are continuing to respond we give them the chance. We have had the hectic, wife on call, unexpected family illness etc that came up. One couple was really patient with us and we are glad they were. Not to give a sob story but in a two year period we lost a grandmother, both moms and step dad. In addition, had one dad go thru leg amputation, and step dad go thru esophogial cancer (doing fine now). On top of kids sports and other activities and work on calls/long hours (70 a week). Tends to not allow a lot of time to decompress. The couple we were talking to gave us a lot of slack and when things settled and we got together it was great.
For this reason we may give more leeway than most. In addition we may also ask, not to be nosey but offer a shoulder or help, if there is something tough happening. We have found others dealing with some of the same issues. We were able to help, made a great friend and had some very wild times. :-)
Just some food for thought. :-)
For this reason we may give more leeway than most. In addition we may also ask, not to be nosey but offer a shoulder or help, if there is something tough happening. We have found others dealing with some of the same issues. We were able to help, made a great friend and had some very wild times. :-)
Just some food for thought. :-)
I usually give it a month with the exception of the holiday season. There are some couples out there that have no intention of meeting, but the emails and phone conversations fuel their sexual fantasies. When the time comes when you feel you must move on, be honest and let them know the reason. That way, if they are genuine but have a busy life, they wont contact another couple until they truely have the time to meet.
We have very full and busy lives, and for us this is an activity that is NOT the priority. We love it and have a ton of fun, but it is not what we live for day in day out. I know some people are all about it, and if they cannot play every single weekend the are bummed (no pun intended there).
So, we know there are people like us out there, and it may take some time to get to meet them, and more often than not, we are the ones with too many things going on to get together. Does that mean we are not interested.....no. We are all over the age of 5 and a little patience may do us all some good.
So, we know there are people like us out there, and it may take some time to get to meet them, and more often than not, we are the ones with too many things going on to get together. Does that mean we are not interested.....no. We are all over the age of 5 and a little patience may do us all some good.
we feel that most of the people on these sites are either guys looking for cheap thrills or just pretenders that dream of swapping but never take thge plunge we have yet to meet anyone online from this site
We\'re generally pretty open to emailing or IMing for a while. I think you generally know when they\'re not interested or not legit. One sign we had to learn the hard way was they\'d keep asking for photos. Live and learn, I suppose!
We have learned that parties are the best way to meet people.After all the fakes we have come across on these sites,we were invited to a new years eve party by a couple of friends.
We had the chance to play at the party and make new friends who we are meeting this weekend.
So I would certainly recommend a party.It is far better than endless chatting then getting some feeble excuse as to why they can\'t meet you this weekend,or next weekend or.........
We had the chance to play at the party and make new friends who we are meeting this weekend.
So I would certainly recommend a party.It is far better than endless chatting then getting some feeble excuse as to why they can\'t meet you this weekend,or next weekend or.........
D\'ont give up. And when you broaden your base to males I volunteer!!
Seriously given how hectic modern life is , you just keep plugging along.
after all patience is a virtue.
Boa582
We haven\'t ever thought of it in the terms of \"giving up\" for us it\'s just like anyone else who you meet in life, either you hit it off or you don\'t! We always see meeting new people as a chance to hopefully make some new friends, never go into it with any expections. If your finding yourself having to question why your sitting around waiting for an email, a phone call or a meeting, chances are you probably should keep on looking. Life is too short to worry about the \" what if\'s\" or the \" maybe\'s\". Besides if they can not be grown up enough to say sorry we don\'t want to meet right now, do you really want to meet them at all ? On the other side of it we have a very busy life with kids and jobs and everyday things. To us this is not a lifestyle, just something once and a while that we might enjoy with each other. I think if effort is made and it\'s just not happening then move on to better things!
Getting couple and people to talk lately is hard since there are some meanie poster in the forums so I keep hearing less want to type in the forums due to the mean posters to get recognized. So giving up is A good questions since most look to the Forums to see who's active vs lurking in the shadows hoping some one will pick them to talk to. Than when you friend someone going silent tells people you're not here to find a active partner, couple to fuck. but to hang out with the want a be group in the corner like in high school hoping some one will talk to you. We have found once getting a couple to dinner & a movie to really get to know someone is best vs clubs and hoping to get laid. Dawn like it best to meet a couple for dinner and movie so see how the male treats there female & we aren't meeting for just sex. We are meeting to see the personality connected to what's going to enter her pussy. I've been with Dawn 16 years and we still haven't given up on the couples of this web site. We use our personal date night to meet other couples and by the 3rd meet, we have a good idea if we want to exchange sex partners.
So its 3 meets and fuck based on menstrual cycle of the ladies or 3 meets and move on.
So its 3 meets and fuck based on menstrual cycle of the ladies or 3 meets and move on.